After we knotted, all my protective instincts surged to the surface. Even letting her leave our house is a struggle when all I want to do is keep her there with me. I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from expressing all of this, not wanting to sound like a controlling jerk. After our conversation at breakfast, it’s clear that Delilah needs to take things slow. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.
“I’m sure you’ve got lots of other things to do today.” She turns to face me. “I don’t want to take up any more of your time.”
“I will always have time for you, Delilah.” My hands clench the wheel. “Always.”
“About last night…” She plays with the hem of her T-shirt. “Thanks for being there and helping me through that. Being around you guys is just…” She shakes her head. “Scent matches are crazy, huh?”
“Yeah.”
Is that really all I can say to that? Then again, it’s probably better than trying to put into words how I’m actually thinking and risk scaring her away. We may be scent matches, but the intensity of my feelings for her could send her running in theopposite direction. Every fiber of my being demands to be close to her, like a magnet is forcing us together. The thought of having to leave her in Omega Village is already tearing me apart.
“Should I put on some music?” Not waiting for my response, she taps on the screen then flicks through my music playlists before settling on some old-school country. “This is a good one.”
I wince. Of all the songs she had to pick, she chose that one. I feel myself withdrawing, my mind transported back to my childhood.
“Nash?” Her sweet scent, the smell of home, breaks through the thick heaviness of my grief. “Are you okay?”
I don’t know whether she sensed a change in my scent or is an expert in body language, but I hoist myself out of my memory—the vision of my dad telling my brother to stop goofing off while we work on a project fading…
“That’s my brother’s favorite song.” I swallow down the lump in my throat. “We used to play it all the time.”
“Are the two of you close?”
“He’s dead,” I reply bluntly. I don’t often talk about Robbie—not just because of the pain but because I hate the way people look at me after I tell them. Just like how Delilah is looking at me now, her doe-like eyes full of pity. “It happened a long time ago. He was seventeen.”
She reaches over, her small hand covering my knee. “I’m so sorry, Nash.” Her sudden touch causes my body to jump like I’ve been electroshocked. She yanks her arm away. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“You didn’t. It’s just… I’m just not used to talking about stuff like this,” I admit. “I don’t talk about Robbie a lot. Not even to Tae or Jagger.”
The chorus of the song fills the car. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.”
Despite my instincts to shut myself off, something about Delilah makes me want to open up, so the words keep on coming. “He and I were close. More than brothers, really. Best friends. He died in a car accident.” I shudder. “I was in the car with him when it happened. I was supposed to be driving that night, but we switched because I wanted to have a few drinks. If I hadn’t done that, he’d still be here.”
I can still hear it—the crunch of metal, the thwack of leaves cracking the windshield before the bone-deep jolt as the airbag hit me, the devastating silence that followed, only punctuated by a high-pitched ringing in my ears.
“Oh, Nash…” She cautiously pats my knee again. Instead of jumping this time, I concentrate on the warmth radiating from her palm through the denim of my jeans, like a ray of sunshine cutting through storm clouds. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“Maybe not, but it still doesn’t take away that it should have been me who died that night. It was my job to get us home safe.” I shrug. “My parents were never the same after we lost Robbie. And neither was I.”
“I wish there was something I could say, but sometimes words aren’t enough,” she utters softly. “I can’t imagine how hard that was for you. I guess it’s one of the reasons why you’re so protective of your pack now.”
“I’d die for the people I care about.” Her included, though I don’t verbalize it. “I’ll never make a stupid choice that puts anyone I love in danger again.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong,” she reminds me. “It was an accident.”
I almost believe her.
Deciding we’ve had enough emotions for one day, I clear my throat and point up ahead. “Almost there.”
We drive through campus in thoughtful silence, listening to Robbie’s song. As Delilah hums along to it, I realize it’s the firsttime I’ve listened to it in years. Maybe this is a sign from Robbie that I’m in the right place, with the right person.
“You can let me out here,” she says as the song changes, and we reach the Omega Village gates.
“I’m security, remember?” I pull out a clearance badge from the glove box. “I’m taking you right to your door.”
“Have you met Margie?” Delilah laughs. “She’s very protective.”
I smirk as I approach the barrier. Margie is one of the guards I met during my security team meetings, and we’ve built a good rapport.
