‘Yes.’
‘And you said nothing?’
‘I tried to bring it up with your father once, but he shut it down.’
‘Why didn’t you go to the police?’ I grip the seat of my chair to try to keep myself calm.
‘Your father knew some of those men,’ she says eventually. ‘Socially. He wasn’t involved with all that other stuff. I want to be clear about that. But he knew them. They moved in overlapping worlds. I was afraid of what would happen to your family if I said something. To my position. To everything.’
‘To your position…’ I say.
‘I know. I was selfish.’
She’s quiet for a moment. ‘I was protecting myself. And you. The area chief of police was involved. Going to them would only have it swept away anyway. When I caught you coming back that night, I was frightened for you.’
I press my fingers to the stone at my throat. ‘I’m being threatened. Someone who knows what happened that last day of summer.’
The look she gives makes me squirm. It’s not something I’ve brought up with her since the day it happened.
‘I need to know if you’ve told anyone. Spoken to anyone about any of it.’
She shakes her head.
‘No,’ she says. ‘I haven’t. He deserved it. Deserved worse, really. I am seventy-one years old, and I have thought about those children every single day since. Whatever mistakes I made, telling anyone else is not one.’
I nod, feeling both relieved and more concerned. It’s a dead end.
‘Whatever is happening to you, it isn’t coming from me, Katherine.’ She reaches out and places a hand over mine, patting softly.
I believe her.
It would be easier if she had told someone. At least I’d have a lead. She’s just old and tired. The secrets weighed her down, too.
‘You told me silence would be best. Best for whom?’
‘For us,’ she says.
‘The boy from the cottage is back. After all this time, he found me.’ I don’t know why I’m telling her, but unloading the secret feels good.
‘How is he?’
‘Alive.’Intriguing. Tortured.
I don’t stay long. Being back in front of her has me feeling like I’m folding myself back up to be small, and I hate it.
I don’t relax until I’m back on the train and heading for home.
I’m back where I started, no closerto finding the note-leaver. Could it be one of the men who were part of the abusers’ group?
Picking up my phone, I look at the last message from Heart Eyes, and wonder if he’s going to be mad at me for leaving without him.
And what he intends to do about it.
TWENTY-TWO
LIAM
It turnsout that the tracker isn’t ideal if Kat is on the move. I saw that she was on the train, but without knowing which stop she’d get off, I couldn’t drive to meet her. And by the time she did actually stop and I headed toward her, she was soon back on the train.
