“Why butterflies?” Concentrating is a feat of pure will when her hand hypnotically brushes back and forth along my arm. How am I supposed to get anything done when she’s touching me like it’s the most natural thing in the world?
“It’s what Charlie wanted—something about metamorphosis or spreading your wings. I can’t remember, but I clearly don’t have an issue with getting random shite tattooed on my body, so I went along with it.”
“No qualms with the whole ‘my body is a temple’ thing?”
“Oh, my body is a temple. It’s just more concerned with worshippingyouthan keeping my skin pure.” I lean to the side and nip at her lip in a quick kiss.
Her cheeks flame with crimson, and she shifts behindme, hand trailing down my arm and across my side to slide up my spine.
“What about this one?” Her fingertips glide over the hyper-realistic female form standing proudly between my shoulder blades, arms and head absent, wings splayed out in splendour. My favourite tattoo, even more so than the dragon that winds around my kneecap or the matching tattoo with my sister.
Jade’s finger lightly traces over the detailed feathers. “Winged Victory of Samothrace,” I state as I finally shuck through the last bit of char left on the pan. “A tour guide during a school trip to Paris said it represents power and resilience. Nike is the goddess of victory, and for years, philosophers have said the statue exemplifies a person’s ability to overcome obstacles.” Air puffs out through my nose as I realise how pointed that theme is for me right now when all I seem to deal with is obstacles. “It’s something that’s resonated with me my whole life, so when I was in New York a couple years back, I reached out to this artist named Jae, whose work I knew would be perfect, and he squeezed me in. It's been my favourite since.”
My admission weighs heavy in the air. Suddenly, Jade’s arms are wrapping around my waist, and she presses up on her tippy toes to place a soft kiss to the ink.
“It’s my favorite too then,” she whispers against my skin.
Her words burrow their way deep into my bloodstream, and all I feel is peace as I exhale a breath I feel like I’ve been holding for a year. Crazy to think that the person I should feel the most uncertain around is the one person who’s never made me doubt myself.
I settle a wet hand against her forearm, rubbing my thumb back and forth before twisting my head in her direction. “Thoughts on dessert before dinner?”
Jade’s smile stretches across my back, breath ghosting across my skin. “Brilliant idea.”
“There’s ice cream in there.”
She disengages from me to walk over to the freezer, pulling the door open. Moments later, she’s rounding on me, judgement in her eyes and a pint in each hand. “There’s like…six different flavors in here.”
I turn to face her, leaning against my sink and flipping the drying towel over my shoulder. “Lottie has a horrendous sweet tooth. I keep it stocked for her.”
“Yes, I’m sure it’s your sister who made you feel the need to have half a dozen flavor options at once,” she deadpans.
“God forbid a man likes to have a little variety.”
She rolls her eyes, and I suppress the desire to kiss her until her eyes roll back for another reason.
“Spoons?” I grab two from the drawer behind me, and she saunters over, chosen flavour in hand, and leans her hip against the counter next to where her phone rests atop it.
She eyes me warily. “What?” I ask, handing her the spoon.
She shovels a heaping amount of praline butter cake ice cream into her mouth, eyes narrowing slightly as she assesses me. “I’m just trying to reconcile who you are with me and who you are with the rest of the world.”
Her phone lights up on the counter, an incoming call from someone called Maxine. Jade glances down, shoulders stiffening just before she declines the call.
“Well?”
I take a fortifying breath before laying all my cards on the table. “That first night we met, I went to The King’s Swan because I was feeling sorry for myself. I had spent the whole season break in a self-induced pity party, drinking and moping and miserable. And I’m not sure why, but I decided to leave the house for a change of scenery that night. I was only one drink deep when you sauntered in, looking like you had the world eating out of your hand, every eye in the place tracking your movements, ready to kneel at your feet. One look at you, and my heart started galloping, pounding so hard against my chest, I thought itwould burst. You were—arethe most stunning person I’ve ever laid my eyes on. I wanted to approach you, but I kept thinking to myself, what chance did I have with you when I had nothing to offer but a mess? So, I stayed put. Then, you started laying into that drunk, and I could feel it for the first time in a long while.”
When I pause too long, she softly asks, “What?”
“Happiness. Watching you absolutely eviscerate that bellend was the highlight of my entire break. I wanted nothing more than to know who you were, where you got your fire, and if it could burn me a little just so I’d feel something for once. But when he wouldn’t leave you alone, this fierce protectiveness came over me, so I stepped in with the intention to get him to fuck off. I’d leave you to it, but then you asked me to stay. I knew it was a bad idea, knew I wouldn’t be able to have you in any real way, but I couldn’t help the pull I felt. So, I sat down, and instantly, I felt like myself around you. You didn’t know who I was, and I didn’t feel like I had to preen to get your attention.” Jade levels me with a glare. “Alright, I preened a little, but only because, well, look at you.”
Another call from Maxine pops up on her phone, but she silences it again, spoon idle in her pint of ice cream as she gives me her full attention, just like she always has. That sort of attention lately makes me feel like I'm drowning, but with her, it feels like the first breath of air after getting sucked under a riptide. It’srelief.
“I thought about you for days after, kicked myself for not trying harder to get your number. I couldn’t let you go, even after finding out who you were and what it would mean for us. I needed to know more, even if all I could have was that one night. I would cherish it becauseyouchoseme. The real me. I went home feeling hopeful for the first time in months, felt that same hope after our first official meeting in your office, and it became painfully clear to me. It didn’t matter what I stood to lose if what I stood to gain wasyou.”
Her eyes are lined in silver, and I step toward her, brushing an errant tear that falls against her petal soft cheek.
“It’s a bad idea, this,” she points between our bodies, “us.”
