I secure it in place now as doubt wraps its hands around mine, guiding my next words.
Tieran
It’s all good, boss.
I don’t wait to see if she texts back. I put my phone on silent, pull the hood of my sweatshirt over my head, and watch the motorway pass by out the window.
I’m not able to shake the sticky feeling of inadequacy for the rest of the ride home. I once read that meditation was a good tactic for keeping the rising panic at bay, but all it’s done is make me more irritated and weirdly hungry.
After making it back to the stadium, I praised the lads for their hard work while giving a speech I didn’t believe, wanting nothing more than to take a long bath to ease my aching muscles and slip under the water, never to resurface. Keeping a brave face was becoming harder bythe day, and the stress of slipping up, of letting everyone down in a different way, was compounding my anxieties further.
As I pull up out front of my home, I spot a shadowed figure by the door shifting back and forth. Slowly, I get out of the car, the threat to call the police on the tip of my tongue before the person turns a little, stepping into the patch of light from the streetlamp, and the words shrivel up to nothing.
Jade McKallen is dressed head to toe in athletic gear, the black Lycra molding so perfectly to her toned thighs and round arse that my mind goes blissfully blank for the first time all night. The only thing I can think about is how slowly rolling the buttery material down her body would be the perfect way to unwind.
“What are you doing here?” I blurt out, snapping out of my indecent trance.
Jade halts her movements, her back turned to me. “Never mind. Forget I was here.”
She takes a step, readying to flee and still refusing to look at me. My body reacts before my brain can catch up, and I reach out, gripping her arm before she can dart away. She’s always running from me, always hiding, and I’ve reached my limit. “I’m gonna ask you one more time, Hellfire. Why did you come here?”
“I—” She stumbles over her words, looking everywhere but at me. “I was out for a run. Didn’t realize this was your house.”
“You’re a better liar than that, love. Try again.”
She finally glances up at me, indecision waring in her eyes as they flit back and forth, a beautiful frown marring her full mouth, brow furrowed. “I don’t know. I shouldn’t be.”
Insecurity is a foreign look on her face, something that should never be there, but right now, it’s written clear as day all over her features. Me and her, this connection that’s been sparking between us since that night at The King’sSwan, it might be the one thing in her life Jade McKallen doesn’t know how to control.
My gaze travels down her arm and settles on the bag in her hand. “What do you have?” I swipe my thumb along the inside of her wrist.
“Tesco meal deal.” Her voice is barely a whisper.
A laugh bursts out of me. This woman has more money than anyone in this country, and she’s standing before me with aTesco meal deal. Fuck me, I said it that first night we met, and it remains true today: Jade McKallen is an enigma, a puzzle I want to spend hours trying to put together just so I can figure out what piece reveals her humour, which ones slot together to display her brilliance—her kindness, until all I can see is the entire picture of her—who she is.
“Don’t tell me you’re too good for it.” A dark eyebrow raises high in challenge as an edge returns to her voice. A clear challenge.
“Give me that.” I grab the bag out of her hand to see what’s inside. Two sandwiches, a bag of prawn crisps, a side of sliced apples with peanut butter, and two drinks. “Approved. Come on, let's go eat.”
“Oh, I don’t think?—”
“Jade,” I interrupt.
“What?”
“Stop overthinking it. Just come inside and eat with me.” Her eyes trail down to where I'm still holding her wrist and then travels up the length of me, holding a second too long on my mouth before she looks me in the eyes. Something within them shutters, and I know she’s about to deny me, so I say the one thing I can think of to get her to stay, a last ditch effort to keep her around me. “I could use the company.”
I think Ineedit.
She doesn’t resist when I tug on her arm, pulling her toward my front door.
It’s dark as I lead her inside. I toss my keys on theentryway table and move to turn on the lights when a thirty-five pound ball of energy comes barrelling down the short hallway, launching herself into my arms.
I let out a grunt at having the wind briefly knocked out of me. “Hello, darling girl.” I pepper kisses all over my Blue Staffy’s perfectly round face as her tail wags furiously. “I know, I know, Daddy missed you too. I’m never going to leave you again.” I nuzzle my face into her neck. “Who needs to work when I could be here all day with you?” Pebble pulls back so she can return the love with a hot lick up the side of my face, signaling me to set her down.
As soon as her paws touch the ground, she sprints over to Jade, taking her by surprise and knocking her over.
“Fuck, I’m sorry. She doesn’t know how much she weighs,” I say.
