“This was a wakeup call, Tieran. I’ve been too distracted, letting every area of my life slip. Investors are losing money, and I’m losing their trust. When I go back, it needs to be alone.”
“Look at me.” He tugs on my hand, begging me to turn and face him. I steel my spine and will away the moisture starting to pool in my eyes, letting the light drain, back to the old me. When I turn around, his brows furrow at what he finds on my face. “Haven’t you been happy here? With me?”
“That’s irrelevant.”
“I don’t think it is.”
“I don’t get to be happy, Tieran! I get to work and build an empire, and I don’t have time for this anymore. I have to get back to the real world now, my real life, where million dollar corporations are relying on me to make them successful. It was fun while it lasted, but that’s all it was: fun. ”
“That’s fucking bollocks, and you know it.”
“Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”
“You love me. You said it—Ifeltit, Jade.” He steps forward, one hand cupping my neck and placing the other over my heart. “I know you felt it too.”
I try to pull out of his hold, but he stands firm, not letting me go. “I got caught up in a moment. I let my guard down when I came here, and now, I’m facing the consequences.” My voice has never sounded so lifeless. “I have to go back before I lose everything. I won’t risk all I’veworked the last decade for.” I take a deep breath before delivering my final blow. “It’s not worth it.”
He jerks back, finally letting go of me, and I immediately feel frozen all over. “I’mnot worth it, you mean.” A statement, not a question, and I want to die at the devastated look in his eyes that makes them dim to a darker blue. I don’t rush to disagree, knowing I’m bringing his biggest insecurity to the forefront after he’s worked so hard to battle those demons away. I lock down every emotion, every urge to stuff my words back into my mouth, to tell him I love him and that will never change. But I don’t say any of that. I just look off into the distance with lifeless eyes and let him come to his own horrific conclusion—let his insecurities poison his mind and do the work for me, like the coward I am.
He pushes his tongue into his cheek, smiling ironically, and tilts his head up to the starless sky, looking for the one thing he always thought was a constant and coming up empty. I can see his eyes lining with silver, and I almost cave then, almost get on my knees and beg for forgiveness and tell him everything. But I don’t.
“Maybe they were right.”
I can feel the hammer about to drop, but I ask anyway. “Who?”
He rubs at the side of his neck, right over the scriptedephemeral, and I know he’s thinking I proved his point from all those weeks ago.Nothing ever lasts.
“Everyone. I never believed it for a second, but now? This is the first time I’ve ever felt that you were cold—cruel.” Something within me withers and dies, and he searches my face, looking for any sign of life or fight from the Jade he knows me to be. I remain resolute, and he scoffs. “Have a nice life, Ms. McKallen.” He shakes his head, turns around, and walks away, taking my heart along with him.
When he’s out of sight, I finally crumble, and theeruption of sobs I worked the last few minutes to hold back comes bursting out of me in a torrent of pain.
It’s for the best. He’ll make the team, go to the Olympics in a couple years, and become everything he ever wanted to be. I’ll be a blip in his life on his way to greatness, and eventually, he’ll forget all about our time together.
And me—well, I’ll be alone, loving him from afar, because for me, what we hadiseverlasting.
We just don’t get to have it.
In my life,I’ve read countless slander articles about myself, been cheated on and humiliated in front of the world, had broken bones that took months to heal, but none of that hurt as badly as Jade shattering my heart into a million pieces.
For two days, all I’ve been doing is picking up my phone to plead with her to tell me what changed, but my feeble pride stopped me. Instead, I threw the device to the other side of the room—not before taking one long look at the photo of her I had saved as my background, though. I still couldn’t bring myself to change the image of her in that red dress the night of the gala, no matter how much it tortured me. She had been on the opposite end of the ballroom, the chandelier crystals reflecting light against the planes of her cheekbones like starlight dancing across her face.
How could she stop loving me so easily when there was no force on Earth capable of getting me to stop? Two nights now, sleep has evaded me, because every time I close my eyes, I’m haunted by the look of nothingness in hers. The scent of her skin, sweet vanilla and bourbon, still clings to my pillows.
It’s a sick sort of torture—wanting to bury my head andbreathe her in despite it making me feel like I’m being split in two.
The only thing I want to do today is wallow in self-pity and cuddle with Pebble, but duty has me walking through the staff doors at Knightsbridge, sunglasses still perched on my nose to hide my red-rimmed eyes. Playing a match right now isn’t ideal, and I would be lying if I said I’m not worried about being capable of it right now.
Will Jade even be here, or is she already in a first-class seat, flying five thousand miles away from me with my heart in her hands? What will happen to the team when she leaves?
It’s not your problem.
The mental reminder is a slap in the face that wakes me up enough to hear the frantic whispers coming from around the corner. I slow my movements, straining my ear to listen in.
“You said you weren’t going to do that,” the voice hisses.
No one replies until the same voice speaks again, and I deduce that whoever is speaking is on the phone.
“You’relying.It’s all over the news.”
