“Why is it so hard to hand him over?” I whispered.
“Because you fought hard for this little one. For years and years. And he’s so tiny, and precious, and it’s pinging all of your mama bear senses. But I promise, I’ll just be across the hall at the nurses’ station, and if he even so much as fusses one single time, I’ll bring him right back to you. How does that sound?”
“I think I can handle that.”
Birdie scooped Connor out of my arms and gave us both a little wave as she ducked out of the room. My heart was suddenly pounding in my chest. I leaned back in the bed, groaning as my belly pulled. It was the weirdest sensation of pain and soreness around the incision which was still completely numb. I hated it.
“Take a deep breath, baby.” Colt’s hand landed on my thigh, and not a moment too soon. The contact immediately grounded me, and the panic in my chest loosened its hold.
“I’m such a mess.”
“You’re not even seventy-two hours out from a life changing surgery where a tiny human was extracted from your body, you lost more than a normal amount of blood, and were stitched up and walking within twelve hours. Not to mention also keeping that little human alive by feeding him milk your body is now producing.”
“That is a lot, isn’t it?” I asked.
“Understatement of the year, darlin’.”
“Help me take a shower so we can get him back in here?”
“Absolutely.”
“Lean your head back just a little bit, I’m going to try and get most of it wet without waterboarding you.”
“Thanks.” I chuckled. “It’s been a long time since you washed my hair.”
“I missed doing this.”
“Taking care of me?”
“Yeah. It’s the biggest honor in my life, Vi. Taking care of you. Supporting you.”
I lifted my hand up, resting it on his arm. “I feel the same way. I want to throw up when I think about all the promotions I missed celebrating with you. All the birthdays. I made us miss so much.” The words stuck in my throat like I’d just eaten a spoonful of peanut butter.
“None of that,” he cooed as he started pouring the warm water over my hair. “It took two people making mistakes, thinking they were protecting the other person, for our divorce to happen. And we can celebrate everything we missed with Connor now. It’ll be a fun way to introduce him to cake. One for each of the books you published on your own.”
“One for each of your promotions.”
“I love the sound of that. It wasn’t celebrations missed, just celebrations delayed.”
There would be so many people at those celebrations, too. It filled my heart with so much happiness to know my son was going to grow up on the ranch. With his aunt, uncles, and his cousin. His grandparents, too. Part of me wondered if I could convince my dad to move back from Arizona. I knew the house held so many special memories for him, but I also knew they were painful since my mom passed.
“What are you thinking about?” Colt asked. “You went awfully quiet.”
“My dad. I was just thinking how much of Connor’s life he’s going to miss out on being so far away.”
“That is tough.” Colt massaged the shampoo into my hair, and I couldn’t help the moan that escaped. He cleared his throat, and I tried not to laugh while he shifted his hips. My husband was fully clothed while I sat here naked, deflating, ripped open and sewed back together, and yet I knew without a shadow of a doubt he still would tell anyone I was the most attractive woman he’d ever seen in his life.
“We could ask him to go on the trip to New York with us.”
“What trip is that?”
My eyes drifted shut. “I need to clear out the stuff in my apartment. Sublet until my lease is up.”
“Or break the lease all together,” Colt suggested.
I shook my head. “The penalties are too expensive. It doesn’t make sense to break it when there are only fourteen months left on it.”
“So, you, me, Connor, and your dad are going on this little trip?”
