Right after, he joined me in laughter. “She aint shit for that.”
“Nah, that’s my girl.”
“Fuck all that.” He lifted his phone. “Now, let’s call Red. Let’s play with her ass too.”
Sitting up on the floor, I nodded, ready to disturb the next person’s peace.
All that night we made prank calls, laughing the whole way. And it was days like this, where we could revert back to being two big ass kids, playing. Feeding off one another, without outside interference.
>>>>>
Things were taking on a new form, as I was beginning to have a life outside of Jahrein and my children. As my circle changed, Jahrein seemed okay with me just kicking it without him hounding me about my every move. Now, there were a few of my classmates that I found myself hanging with.
I sometimes fucked with Tae, because she went to school with me. But she was still in the streets more so, and I was trying to steer away from that scene. I just wanted to live decently for the sake of my kids. I didn’t want them to come close to living the way that I had. So, I surrounded myself with chicks that shared the same views.
I met Michelle, who was a tall slim light skinned chick, and Joy, who was light brown, thick, with long curly hair, at school and started a fast friendship. Theywere some of the few chicks that weren’t concerned with who my husband was or some shit like that. Joy was a bit stuck-up, but Michelle was from the hood like me and had a man in the game. So, I didn’t have to worry about them hanging around, trying to leach.
We often went to poetry readings and book signings. I was exposing myself to another world. I felt that I was the ultimate woman, because I was well rounded and could hang with just about anyone, from any background.
Jahrein Junior had just started Pre-K and was driving me up the wall. Jahrae had just made one and was forever getting into things. He was moving fast and people kept saying that he was getting out of the way for the next baby. Maybe that old folk tale had some truth in it, because I was indeed pregnant again. I couldn’t win for losing when it came to me and pregnancy. I think that those birth control shots just made you more fertile. They’d work as long as you kept up with the shots, but try missing one week. Trust me; you’d be knocked up too.
I tried presenting the news to Jah in a way that would sway him to consider an abortion. All that got my ass was cussed out.
“A baby is a gift from God.” he told me.
“But baby three is plenty. I just need a little time before I have another child.” I tried to reason.
“Raven, you got about six months of time before the baby comes.”
“That’s not what I mean, Jah. Just think about it.”
“Aint shit to think about. Why can’t you have another baby? I make sure that all y’all straight. It’s not like you work or something.”
“And this is why! I never even get time in between babies. By the time one is walking, I’m pregnant again.”
“So, what’s wrong with that? Don’t you have everything that you need? What’s so bad about staying at home and giving your husband babies?”
“So, why am I even in college, if all I have to look forward to is being the mother of your kids?” I snapped.
“Because it preoccupies your time. Then you can tell our daughter how you got a degree and shit.”
“So what, my hard work and efforts is all for show?” I asked as I folded my arms across my breasts.
“Naw, it’s for your own satisfaction. I don’t know why you’re tripping. We are young. You can use your degree after the kids get older and move out.”
“What? So, you don’t expect me to work until then?” I asked in disbelief.
“I mean…no. That’s the plan aint it? You don’t need a job. I take care of you.”
“You know what; I got a resolution for this shit. Your ass is just going to start wearing condoms after this baby.”
“You got me fucked up. I aint wearing no condom with my wife. God said be fruitful.” He laughed.
Jahrein was one prehistoric chauvinist pig. He really did want me barefoot and pregnant. I was in a losing battle, so I gave up. Even as I tried to explain this to friends and family they didn’t see anything wrong with his demands. They all felt that there were far worse things that a man could demand, and that I should happily oblige.
People had long ago stopped seeing me as a teenage girl, but that was exactly who I was. I was also a mother and a wife, but I didn’t want that to define me. Michellehad a two year old daughter, but at least she was twenty. So, she’d experienced some things before she had a child. Shit, as soon as I started smelling myself I became with child. I didn’t know shit about dating or being young and care free. My life had stopped being mine a long time ago.
Eventually, I decided to not cry over spilled milk and embrace the pregnancy. Hell, I wasn’t even old enough to get my tubes tied. Lord knows how many I’d have by the time I reached twenty-one.
