About five hours later, both April and my name were called. She had to wake me up because those bars had me gone. They made us sign some papers and then informed us that our bond had been posted. I didn’tknow if Jah had done that or had he told my daddy about it or something.
When we exited the building I saw Jah leaning against his car, smoking a cigarette. This could only mean that he was stressing. I couldn’t even look at him in the eyes. I just walked over to the passenger’s side and got in.
April spoke to him before she got in the car and he barely gave her a nod. He got in the car and backed away from the jail.
“So, you aint got shit to say, Jail Bird?” he asked sarcastically.
I didn’t reply. I wanted to go back to sleep and forget that day ever happened.
“You hear me talking to you?” he asked me seriously.
“What do you want me to say?” I hunched my shoulders.
“First, tell me what they caught you with?” If he went through all the trouble of bonding us out, he probably already knew what I had. He just wanted to hear me say it.
“Cocaine.” I breathed.
That muthafucka pulled over on the side of the road and slapped the shit out of me. The blow was so hard that it caused my head to bang against the window.
“Cocaine?! What the fuck were you thinking? Aint that how we eat? Aint that what I serve those fiends?! So, you a crack head now?” he asked me enraged. I had never seen him that mad before.
“I’m sorry.” I cried.
“You sorry? Bitch, those people was talking about calling CPS for my kids when you didn’t show up to getthem. You sorry?! I hustle so that you won’t have to get your hands dirty. Bitch, you don lost your damn mind!”
He was now throwing blows left and right. April just sat back and watched, horrified. For once I didn’t try to fight back. I took those blows, because I deserved them. I had really fucked up. I had jeopardized my children for a high.
Finally, Jahrein got tired of whipping my ass and resumed driving. He dropped April off in Fifth Ward. I thought about just hopping out with her, because I knew that Jahrein was not about to let me live that day down. I reached for the door and Jahrein locked my door, while glaring at me. So, I didn’t say a word as we headed to Red’s house. When he pulled up in her driveway I didn’t want to get out.
“Come on.” he ordered, as he exited the car. “Don’t act like you can’t talk now.”
After a few minutes of just sitting there he snatched my door open and yanked me out. “Get your ass out!”
I snatched away from him and then took my time getting to the front door. Once I walked completely inside I saw my daddy and Red sitting on the couch, waiting.
“What the fuck happened to you?” my daddy questioned, wasting no time.
“April had some powder in my truck.” I mumbled, hating being placed in the hot seat.
“So, you hanging out with hoes that’s fucking with that shit?” Ray-Ray scrunchedd. How could I tell him that I was one of thosehoes?
I just stood there staring at my feet.
“Raven, I don’t know what has gotten into you lately, but you need to chill out.” Red spoke up, which was rare.
Jahrein just had this look of disgust written all over his face. I had never felt that low in my life. At that point I was wishing that I could take everything back. I didn’t try cocaine to hurt my family.
“Raven, are you doing powder?” my daddy asked.
I didn’t want to come across as a liar and it wouldn’t be hard for them to figure it out. I had been doing it a lot lately and people talked. All they had to do was ask the wrong person and my business would be out on Front Street.
“Sometimes.” I replied just above a whisper.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Jahrein blurted. He actually had tears in his eyes.
“I only do it every once in a while.” I tried to get him to understand.
“Why, Raven? Is your life with me that bad that you have to use drugs?” Jah wanted to know. That broke my heart. The truth was that I felt that there was something missing in my life. That something couldn’t be replaced by him.
