Having my son forced me to grow up. I realized a while ago that Jah was an ass hole. He still had a pretty care free life and was trying to stop me from living mine. I aint crazy. Bitches were constantly bringing the drama over him. And he always didn’t seem to know what was going on. He loved to play crazy.
Sometimes I just wanted to be done with him altogether, but he was making that impossible. Sharing a space with him wasn't the easiest thing.
At first I thought that my daddy would try to put a stop to us once he was released from jail. The first weekof his release there was plenty of tension in the house. Ray-Ray would stare at Junior, I guess trying to digest the fact that he was my son. Then when dudes would stop by, asking for my man Ray would rudely say, “She aint got no damn man.”
Then one day after I came home from school everything changed. Suddenly, he was accepting of me and Jahrein's relationship. In fact, it was almost a requirement that I remain with him. I didn't know what to think. He wouldn't allow anyone else to call for me, and he basically let Jahrein run other guys away. Really, they both had me fucked up.
I didn't understand why Jahrein was dead set on controlling me. I’d gone out of my way to show him that he wasn’t my damn daddy. I’d done everything from sneaking out to clubs with much older chicks to trying to strip. Now, I didn’t go crazy with the strip thing, although Jahrein swore that I had lost my mind. It was just something to try. I can still remember that day as if it was yesterday……
Six Months Ago.
“Raven, are you sure that it’s cool for you to be with us? I mean, we don’t need no trouble.” Tiffany babbled as we rode in her sister’s Hyundai, packed up like some sardines.
There were eight girls riding in a car that was meant to hold barely four passengers. Tiffany’s sister Dashia was the only one in the crew who had a car, so we all piled up in her shit. We were going with her to this underground strip joint, way out on the southwest side. Damn near all the girls were underage, so they wanted to hit up a place that they could get in where they fit in. Personally, I was just enjoying being out with the girls,and it kind of gave me a rush to be sneaking and doing things behind Jahrein’s back.
“Bitch, please. I do what I want.” I spoke up.
“Yeah, right.” Every chick in the car laughed.
It was sad how everyone knew how damn controlling Jahrein was. He wanted to know where I was at all times, and for damn sure didn’t like me hanging with a group of girls. He swore that they’d cloud my mind with bullshit like fucking with other niggas. I kept telling that I had my own mind.
“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes at all those bitches, while I sat on Shell’s lap.
When we pulled up into the club’s parking lot I found myself questioning just how underground the establishment was. There were niggas everywhere.
“Damn! Look at all these niggas!” Le-Le exclaimed taking the words right out of my mouth, but I didn’t co-sign anything that came out of scary ass mouth. I was only around her because of our association with a few of the other girls. I didn’t fuck with her after she left me hanging during that fight.
“What the fuck, Dashia? You said that this was a low key spot. This can’t be the place.” Tiffany whined.
“It usually is. The only time there is a nice crowd is when there’s a party. But y’all should be happy. That means that there’s plenty of money in there. So, what’s up? Are y’all hoes gon bar-b-queue or mildew?” Dashia asked everybody.
“Shit, I’m with it.” Shell was the first one to speak up.
I nodded, but was a bit apprehensive. Dashia made it seem as though we would be dancing for some nobodies that we would probably never see again. She claimed that we didn't have to take off our clothes ifdidn't want to. I could live with shaking my ass for some strangers, it was no different from what we did at parties, but I couldn’t get with these young niggas I saw prowling the lot. What if one of Jah’s friends saw me? Even worse, what if one of Ray-Ray’s boys spotted me? I’d never live it down.
One by one we all filed out of the small car. Immediately, we captured all the guys’ attention. We were all dressed rather provocatively in short shorts and halters. I smiled knowing that Jahrein would blow a fuse if he saw how my ass was hanging out of my shorts. Just knowing that I was getting away with it was satisfaction within itself. I really wasn’t worried about actually dancing for those niggas. It wasn’t like I was hard up for money. I’d done enough by just being there as far as I was concerned. Still, I followed my girls inside the club.
Eyes were glued to us as we strutted through the club. We all stood and mingled amongst ourselves as Dashia talked to the man in charge. After a few minutes he approached us. It was obvious that he was sizing us up. Once his eyes landed on me I became uncomfortable. He wouldn’t stop staring.
“Damn, mama. You brought some bad bitches with you this time, huh.” He nodded talking to Dashia, while never taking his eyes off of me.
“That’s all I fucks with.” Dashia boasted, sounding a hot ghetto mess. I had to shake my head at her ass. I mean, she was a’ight in the face, but the best thing about her was her body. So, how is it that she quote in quote only fucked with bad bitches when she wasn’t one her damn self?
“Yeah, yeah.” The older dark skinned man licked his lips eyeing me like I was on a dinner plate. “What’s your name, beautiful?” he asked.
For some strange reason Shell thought that he was talking to her. “Oh, I’m Roshell.” She smiled from ear to ear, just knowing that she had been chosen out of all seven of us.
The man frowned. “No, I’m talking to this pretty little thing with this long hair. Is that all you?” he asked me.
The expression on Shell’s face immediately changed. I knew that she was embarrassed. Really, if I was her I would have brushed that shit off, because it wasn’t like I was excited about getting attention from a man old enough to be my grandpa.
“Who me?” I asked, playing crazy.
“Yeah, you.” He smiled revealing a mouth full of gold.
He was a handsome older man, but nonetheless he was old. He was well dressed like he had a bit of money. Tisha would have loved him, but then again he wasn’t ugly enough so she might have passed. “I’m Keisha.” I lied. He didn’t need to know shit about me.
“Keisha, huh? Okay, Keisha, I know that y’all supposed to make a little money dancing for these niggas, but I have a proposition for you andyouonly.”
