Raven shook her head, and I already knew that she was gonna say something Red wasn’t trying to hear. “That’s sad. It’s Valentine’s morning, and I bet any kind of money that Roz knows where he’s at, if nobody else. Did you check over there?”
Saying nothing, I shook my head. It was times like this that could put shit into perspective. Red was always preaching that a dog was gonna be a dog, and eventually he’d find his way home. The problem was that I don’t think that Ray’s home was really with Red. I mean, he had a spot with her…but I had come to realize that she didn’t have the number one spot. And privately, I had told her just that. As always, she’d told me to mind my business, which is what I had been doing.
Keeping it real, I felt like Red and Ray-Ray were a lot alike. They were cool as hell, if you didn’t consider theirparenting and shit, but as a son, I knew that they were both incredibly selfish. Red had always ran the streets, leaving me and my brothers at home to do whatever we wanted. Ray-Ray had been a half-ass daddy to his daughters, at best.
Unbeknownst to most, Ray had a daughter the same age as Raven with a woman named Roz, and now a son, who was the same age as Jhyrah. Clearly, that son was created during Red’s time, but he was no secret. In fact, if Red had tried to make him choose, then we all knew that Ray wouldn’t hesitate to go wherever his son was. Roz was the clear favorite, and Red had accepted that shit. Of course, she had a few side pieces to keep herself preoccupied, but I had learned enough to realize that she was doing that purely as a defense mechanism.
And now, here lied the flaw in accepting whatever, as long as a man financially provided. Ray had moved her out of the hood. So, she now had a big ass house and was driving something foreign. But had also woken up alone on Valentine’s morning.
“I aint fucking with that girl,” Red grumbled, referring to Roz.
For the most part, she avoided confrontation with Roz, and claimed that it was because she didn’t check other bitches over her man. And that might’ve been partially true, but I honestly felt like Red was a bit intimidated by Roz. Physically and verbally. It was a lot to unpack, and the fucked-up part of me, who hadn’t forgotten how she’d miss basketball games, or couldn’t keep the lights on, but always made time for whatever man was in her life, felt like maybe this was her karma. Because she had never put her kids first.
Naturally, I knew that Red loved me and my brothers, and I couldn’t say that we’d been neglected. However, after having my own kids, and watching the way Raven nurtured them, I realized that I’d never had that growing up.
I didn’t have a mama who regularly kissed and hugged me. Told me that she loved me. Remembered all my favorite foods, just to cook them to make me smile. I was never special at home. Never had somebody who cared about every little detail that made me who I was…until Raven came along. And that was when I learned what unconditional love was.
With Raven and my kids, I’d created my own family. And I wanted our kids to have all the things our parents never gave us, including unwavering support and our mere presence.
Needless to say, my relationship with Red was a complicated one. I loved her, but I didn’t just look past her shortcomings. I recognized them, and perhaps that was why the suffering she’d endured in her romantic relationships didn’t bother me nearly as much as maybe it should’ve. Cause if I had a mama that would move hell and earth for me, then I couldn’t see myself letting anybody mistreat her. Even if it was Ray-Ray.
“Well, my daddy is out of line for disappearing today of all days,” Raven commented.
Red smacked her lips. “This is just a regular day.” She glanced around. “But I see that you went way out, son.”
Raven smiled, while placing her roses back on the island. “Yeah, he did.”
“Humph. I see.” Red focused on me. “You did all this for her?”
I nodded. “Her and the girls. Jhyrah and the baby.” I rubbed Raven’s belly.
“I guess. And you didn’t think to call me over?”
I scratched my head. “I mean…it aint like you some single woman, living alone. I honestly thought that you’d have your own plans.”
“And even if I did, you didn’t consider celebrating ya mama?”
I furrowed a brow. “Shit, I can’t remember the last timeyoucelebratedme. I bought you and everybody else gifts onmybirthday. So, Ion get this entitlement.”
“Entitlement?” She scoffed. “Nigga, I’m the same bitch who kept Jordans on ya feet. Made sure that you was well-kept. Had food in your stomach, and you wanna talk about entitlement?”
I stared at her unblinkingly. “I don’t applaud a fish for swimming. That’s the bare minimum. You the one who laid down and had me. I aint ask to be here.”
“Oh, really?” She frowned. “I’ma remember that, with ya ungrateful ass. The sad part about it is that I aint even asking for nothing. I just said that you could’ve at least called and invited me over.”
Studying her, I could tell that she was on the verge of tears, so I decided to ease up. “Man, mama, you know that this wasn’t a conscious effort to exclude you. You know that aint how I do shit. You literally got a key, so I thought it was understood that you are always welcomed.”
“Exactly,” Raven co-signed, as she was still comfortably sitting on my lap. “Red, you know that Jah loves you. And if you be wanting some time, then come over more often. Hang with him. Your grandkids. And not just when you’re looking for Ray-Ray.”
“No bullshit,” I agreed.
“I boo-boo,” Jahrae randomly announced.
“Did you boo-boo in the pull up, or do youneedto go boo-boo?” Raven questioned.
“I need to goooo.” He stood up in his seat.
“Get down, boy!” I commanded, and he immediately got his ass down.
