I glared at her. “Well, if you was so concerned about my pregnancy then you shouldn’t have let my child’s father leave.” I snapped.
Red sat up in her seat. “I know damn well that you’re not trying to blame this on me? You don’t think that you had a hand in any of this?”
“I don’t have no control over Khalil, but you could have tried to influence Ray-Ray and Jahrein.”
She waved me off. “Girl, please. Nothing that I could’ve said would have changed their minds. I wish that you would use your damn common sense some damn time.”
I threw my hands on my hips. “What are you trying to say?”
She sat up, clapping her hands for emphasis. “You are a drama queen. Jahrein and Ray-Ray didn’t become these street niggas overnight. I knew what I was getting when I first got with Ray. I knew all about the other bitches,” she counted down on her fingers. “The baby mama drama, and the hustling. Still, I wanted him, so that meant that I was willing to cope with his baggage. And I understood him and that’s why we’re still together ‘til this day. I’m his peace of mind. Shit, he’s mine too. I have been through hell and back when it comes to the men in my life. Ray-Ray was the first man to actually give a damn about my sons. He was the first to pay all my bills, and told me to keep my money in my pocket.
So, he did his thing every once in a while. What man doesn’t? As long as he takes care of home first, then I’m straight. No woman comes before me. But see you…you want to live in this fantasy world. A broke man will cheat if given the opportunity, so what do you think will happen when your man has a little change? I’m not saying that you should put up with any and everything, but look at your situation. Jahrein got you pregnantbefore he was eighteen years old. How many of your friends’ babies’ daddies stuck around the way that he did? Nobody made Jahrein stay with you. That was his personal decision and yours too.”
“So, what?” I sassed. “I didn’t ask him to do me no favors.”
Red blew out some air. “Okay, but did you know that Jahrein and Ray-Ray had a long talk the day he got released from jail?”
“Not really.” I shrugged.
“Yeah, they did. Ray wanted Jahrein to leave you alone. He said that Jah was too old for you. Ray told him that he was cool with him taking care of Junior, but he felt that Jahrein was too fast and would take advantage of you. And you weren’t ready for a boyfriend yet.”
I lifted a brow, because this was news to me. “Really?”
“Yeah. Jahrein told him that he wouldn’t leave you alone. I had never seen Ray-Ray so mad.” Red shook her head as she reminisced. “He told me that if Jahrein wasn’t my son then he would have murdered him on the spot. I really thought that what you and Jahrein had was puppy love, until that day. My son idolized your daddy for some reason, and I never thought that I’d see the day when he’d stand up to him.”
“Jahrein was adamant about being with you, no matter how much Ray tried to intimidate him. My son told your daddy that he loved you, and if he wanted to he could kick his ass from here to the moon, but he wasn’t going to stop being with you. That was when Ray-Ray gave him that respect and backed off. He knew that Jahrein was far from perfect, but would love you.”
“Whatever.” I sighed.
“Yeah you can whatever me all you want, but that’s the truth. Whether you know it or not, Ray-Ray was extremely upset about your first pregnancy. He didn’t know what to do with himself. And when he saw how y’all felt about one another he knew that there was little that he could do to keep y’all apart.
So, we both decided to step back and let y’all bump your heads on your own. Regardless of what we said, y’all were going to do what y’all wanted, anyway. There was no sense in becoming the enemy. But don’t think that for one minute that we didn’t care. Please believe that as much you vented and I told you to stay, I’d turn around and get on Jahrein’s ass. Once I even told him to let you go if he wanted to keep doing his thing in the streets.
I said that I was going to tell you to leave him. Don’t you know that he didn’t speak to me for a whole damn month? He claimed that I didn’t love him, because if I did I wouldn’t try to tear apart the best thing he had going in his life.” Red admitted.
“What I’m trying to say is that I didn’t condone the things that Jahrein did. I know that a lot of times you may have felt that I did. I was just being a mother. Just like you know him in a way that I never will, the same goes for me. Whenever Jahrein thought that he was losing you, I’d see something that didn’t sit right with me. I knew that he couldn’t take it if you left. Shit, sometimes I’d find myself feeling jealous. Not too many women know what it feels like to have a man that loves them the way that he loves you. And I know that sometimes you might question his heart, but that shouldn’t even be a concern. I can admit that I wasn’tthe best example for him and that reflected so in y’all’s relationship. He wasn’t taught to be monogamous or faithful. I did teach him that a man is supposed to take care of his responsibility, but beyond that he had to find his way on his own.”
For once I understood where she was coming from. Jahrein didn’t grow up with a stable father figure in his life. The closest thing he had to a daddy was Ray-Ray. So, there was no good example of a man treating his woman right. It was like history repeating itself over and over. Somebody had to break the cycle. My kids were going to know better if it was the last thing I did.
“Well, I’m going to teach my kids better than that.”
“That’s what you’re supposed to do. Just know that not everybody was plotting against you. And I didn’t stop Ray-Ray and Jahrein from going after Khalil because he needs to be dealt with. You fuck with one; you fuck with all of us.”
About two hours later Red and Jennifer decided to go to bed to calm their nerves. I couldn’t go to sleep, until I knew that my man was safe and sound. So, I stayed in the living room watching television. Still soon, the television was watching me.
I don’t know how long I’d been sleep, but a light noise woke me. I opened my eyes and slowly peered around. There was no one in plain sight. I started to call out to see if someone would answer, but soon realized that that’s how every bad horror movie began. I knew that if it was Jahrein or my daddy they wouldn’t have been so discreet in their entrance.
I heard some footsteps, and it sounded like more than one person. It was as if the people were purposely trying to sneak up on somebody. The living room wasa wide open space that had several exits and entrances, which meant that I wasn’t quite sure of what direction the noises were coming from.
I didn’t have a weapon or anything to protect myself. I was really about to panic. The only light in the room was the television. I was just praying the intruders didn’t know my exact location. I was really hoping that my anxiety was just fucking with me. I was biting so damn hard on my bottom lip that I drew blood. I was finally like fuck it!
I slowly stood and looked around. I still didn’t see anyone. I figured my best bet would be to make it to the kitchen and grab a knife. That would level the playing field a little if there were in fact some burglars. I ran as lightly as I could to the kitchen. My hands were trembling as I opened the dishwasher and got out the butcher’s knife that I’d just used to cook dinner earlier.
My plan was to make my way up the stairs to my kids. I was barely out the kitchen and on the first step when I heard, “Don’t make another fucking move.” someone whispered harshly as they pressed a gun to my temple.
“Get that knife out that bitch’s hand.” I heard another voice whisper from behind me.
I was still standing on the stairs and saw a dark figure appear at the top of the stairs. Slowly, they walked down to me while my heart pounded inside of my chest. “Bitch, unass this.” The masked person gritted as they pried the knife out of my hand.
