Reaching out, he grabbed my hand. “You saying whatever, like it’s no big deal, but I’m serious, Raven. I need you to really hear me. I fucked up, and I know that I hurt you. But I’m willing to do anything, and Ido mean anything to make this right. Just stop running and give me a chance.”
Shaking my head, I was trying my best to ward off the tears. “You keep asking for my forgiveness, but you never consider then what. What happens when I take you back, but can’t trust you? Or when some time passes and I still don’t accept your son. Then what?”
“I…I know that I gotta earn your trust back. I’m willing to do that. And as far as…JJ…the ball is completely in your court. If you say that you can’t handle that, then you won’t have to. I told you that. It’s your world. How ever you want it.”
Listening intently, I shook my head again. “No. Hell, no. I aint folding like that. I’m still pissed. All these bitches been laughing at me. All the times that you gas lit me, when that hoe was dry beefing with me. All those late-night hang-up calls. All the jealousy bullshit, when youknewthat you was fucking around. Hell, no!” I snapped, before clobbering him over the head.
Unlike most times, Jahrein didn’t attempt to defend himself, as I released months of pent-up frustration. Throwing blow after blow, I couldn’t stop swinging, and it took a minute before it registered that I had tears sliding down my face.
It wasn’t until I felt myself hitting him in the eye, did I catch my snaps. By then, my breasts were heaving up and down, while he sat there, with a bleeding nose.
“You feel better now?” He asked calmly.
“What?” I breathed out.
“I asked if you feel better now, or do you need to go another round? Cause I can handle it. I’m down with whatever it takes to get to the other side of this. Cause I can’t stay stuck like this. It’s driving me fucking crazy,Raven,” he vented. “I honestly feel like I’m losing my fucking mind. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I aint handling business like I’m supposed to. I feel exposed when I’m in the streets, because my head aint right. I just need you to say that you willing to work this out. I’m begging you, baby.” He grabbed my hand again. “Just give a nigga another chance.”
“No,” I sniveled, feeling weaker by the second. “I gotta make you feel how I feel.”
“I already feel that way, baby. I swear to God. What more do you want from me?”
Pushing him back, I sniffed again, before giggling. “I really came here…to go in the safe. I was finna take everything in it,” I lied, just to see what he’d say.
He shrugged. “My money is yours. You can have whatever. If taking that safe is gonna make you feel better, then take it.”
I sucked my teeth. “You know fucking well that Ion want no fucking safe.”
“Okay, then tell me what do you want?”
I sighed. “Shit, I want my happiness back. Can you give me that?”
>>>>>
I was thinking about the next store to hit up. Shopping was always therapeutic for me. It helped me clear my mind. Khalil wasn’t giving me much space and Jahrein was forever tripping. Usually, I’d pop a pill and let that take me away from all my problems. But after I fell asleep behind the wheel of my truck and hit a curb, busting all four tires, I knew that I had to leave the bars alone. I hadn’t even realized until then that I wasdeveloping a problem. And I was much too fly to let any kind of drug take over my life. Um um, not the kid.
As I sat on the bench in the Galleria I spotted his ass. Although, there was quite some distance between us I knew that frame from anywhere. I looked a little closer and realized that he was strolling along side Tyra and her son. Jahrein’s hands were filled with bags. He and his little family were doing it big!
I was so hurt. I was on the verge of giving in and taking him back, until I saw that bullshit. I didn’t know if I wanted to confront him or just dust that shit off. I stood up and headed towards the direction that they were coming from.
Jahrein’s eyes grew two whole sizes larger when he laid eyes on me. You know niggas are so foul, so I expected for him to keep it moving then later come at me with some lame excuse. So, I had no intentions of saying anything. Looking at the bitch at his side, she wasn’t even worth me wasting my breath.
“Raven.” Jahrein said as he stopped and placed the bags on the floor.
I turned around. “What?” I tried sounding unaffected while swallowing the lump in my throat.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asked me as he moved in closer. Tyra stood holding her son’s hand.
“What the fuck do you have to say to me?”
“I was just up here because it’s JJ’s birthday.” he explained.
“I don’t give a fuck! That’s your son, so you don’t have to explain shit to me. You go ahead and have y’all little family time.” I seethed.
“Jahrein, can you come on?” Tyra interjected with an attitude.
He turned to face her. “I know you see me talking to my wife.” he snapped.“Baby, let me go drop them off so that we can discuss this.” he pleaded.
“Baby? You calling this bitch Baby?! She left you for another nigga! And you gon stand here tossing me and your son aside when this bitch comes around?!” Tyra ranted.
