I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest. “How often can I feed?”
“We only need to feed once a day.”
My mouth fell open in disappointment.
He smirked. “You will get used to it, to the point where it’s actually preferred. Overindulging can lead to illness.”
“So, I’ve already had my fill for the day?” My whining was akin to a toddler learning portion control, which, honestly, was pretty much what was happening.
He chuckled. “I’m afraid so.”
“What if I ration out my next bottle and have portions throughout the day?” My eyebrows raised in eagerness.
“It’s best to consume it all in one sitting. After all, that is what our ancestors had to do when they ... hunted. It’s how our bodies are designed now.”
He had explained how vampires had evolved, now consuming donated blood in glass bottles, but the image of vampires hunting humans still made me shiver.
“When can I go outside?” My body practically vibrated with pent up energy I needed to expel.
“We’ll crack the window throughout the day to build up your tolerance. Once you’re no longer affected by the smell, meaning youhave control over your urges, we can go outside. One misstep and you will be executed if you’re found out.”
My eyes widened.
“Don’t worry, mannyenska. They can certainly try, but they will fail miserably. Though I’d rather avoid the headache.”
I looked over his bedroom. The walls seemed closer than they once were.
“If you’re feeling antsy, why don’t you go run up and down the stairs for a while.”
He was joking, but I did exactly that. Once I was sweating and panting and couldn’t possibly take one more step, I collapsed at the bottom of the stairs. Sebastian had to carry me back up. He plopped me into a warm bath. He had a surprising array of scented oils. He added rose and lavender. He cleansed my hair and every inch of my skin with a sweet smelling soap. His usually rough hands handled me gently, massaging rose oil into my skin after rinsing off the soap. He had to pull me up several times as I nearly slipped under the water from his expert ministrations that lulled me to sleep.
Once I was dried and dressed in a comfortable, cotton gown, I was ravenous. Though I still craved the blood, I needed food.
For a prince who was catered to his entire life, he was an excellent cook. He prepared an impressive feast. My eyes were glued to his hands watching everything he did as I waited in anticipation. I wasn’t allowed to help after I ate half a block of cheese. After we finished dinner, we played chess, and he won nearly every round. I could hardly hide my pouting. I didn’t think myself a competitive person, but apparently I was. Or perhaps just with him. I then had a suspicious winning streak, which he definitely allowed to happen. I quickly learned how stubborn he was because he refused to admit it. We cracked the window several times, and each time I was pathetically drooling. We read. I paced around the room. And as I fell asleep in his arms, it was the best sleep I had ever had.
* **
It took five days for me to get some semblance of control. On the fourth day, we slept with the window open, though Sebastian held on to me for dear life in case the urge overtook me to slip out into the night. That urge was growing weaker. The scent was still as delicious as ever, but I no longer felt that compulsive need to consume it. I was still a long way away from getting to a place where it didn’t bother me, but I was ready to go outside. I could pretend.
The goal when I initially agreed to help Sebastian was to get rid of Alaric so I could live out a normal life, one with no secrets. Now I had only ended up with more secrets. Not only had I been falling for a vampire, but I became one myself. My father might simply drop dead from the news.
It had been a difficult transition to process. I didn’t know where to start, what bits to sift through. I gave up a part of myself, a huge part. And the parts I had left were angry at that, angry at Alaric for forcing my hand, angry that I couldn’t have been born blonde and golden like Mother had wanted, angry at the world content to shove me off the edge for my displeasing appearance. But I hoped in time that weight would wane, the fire that burned within me would quell. Because this was who I was now. Because as Sebastian had said, I couldn’t wait for the world to change. I needed to start living.
I narrowed my eyes on Sebastian’s neck. Though he was in his usual black attire, his cravat matched my gown, a light pink.
“Why do you always match me?”
He smirked. “I told you, so people know we’re together.”
“But that’s not all, is it?”
The humor faded from his eyes. He looked at me for a moment. I squirmed under his heated gaze. “I like having a part of you with me.”
It was an admission, one I wasn’t sure he was ready to give. My mouth parted slightly, but I quickly snapped it shut, nodding as if he hadn’t just completely shaken me off my axis.
As he opened the door, a cool gust of wind rushed in bringing with it the overwhelming scent of sweetness that coiled around me, taking hold like a siren leading me to all I couldn’t resist. I breathed in long and slow, letting the scents wash through me. The only way out was through. As my body adjusted to the assault, the crisp scent of autumn filled my nose, and my head was firmly rooted atop me once more. I stepped outside.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
