As we pulled away, I forced a grin to hide the trepidation coming dangerously close to the surface.
“I’ll see you soon.” I nearly choked on the words.
A thick fog cloaked the ground, the carriage kicking it up in wafts and tendrils as we rolled through. Gnarled branches reached for the gray sky. The trees lost more of their vibrant leaves each passing day.
Once the carriage stopped, I looked out the window at my destination with a sense of finality. My heart clattered clumsily about my chest. My hands began to shake. I looked down to them, tracing the blue veins through my translucent skin with a finger. I filled my lungs with a shaky breath, letting it go slowly. But nothing could settle my nerves.
I was giving up all that I had ever wanted. And there would be no turning back.
But after having nearly all choice stripped from me, I had to take hold of the one choice I had. The one decision that could be mine to wield. No one could take this away from me.
I attempted to knock firmly on the door, but my numbing body wouldn’t allow it. I didn’t have to wonder for long if he heard my weak knocks as the door flew open.
Sebastian eyed me, then Walter, then the trunk he was holding.
“Charlotte, I wasn’t expecting you.”
“I apologize for any intrusion, but there has been a turn of events.” I hoped he could read what I desperately tried to convey through my eyes, but he didn’t even need a moment of consideration before he stepped aside. Walter entered and placed my trunk nearthe foot of the stairs. He nodded once to me as he departed to the carriage.
Sebastian looked to me, waiting for me to enter. I hesitated at the threshold before taking a step forward. Once he shut the door, he turned to me, eyeing me up and down, trying to piece together what was going on just by looking at me. By the look on his face, he came up empty. This was the first time I had ever seen him appear even remotely confused. It was oddly unsettling.
“Charlotte, why are you here?”
“I need you to turn me.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
He stared at me for a long time. Too long. He was so still, I wasn’t even sure if he was breathing. I didn’t dare look away from his eyes for a single moment. I needed to see every bit of his reaction. But so far, he was completely unmoving. I was half-tempted to poke him to get something out of him.
Life came back to his features as he tilted his head slightly. His eyes narrowed—no—they squinted as if he couldn't see me properly. “What?”
“Alaric has threatened to turn me.” His jaw clenched. I failed to mention the date I was supposed to go on with him. “And after what he did to Edward, to my sister, I wouldn’t put anything past him. He does not make empty threats. He told me so, and his actions have proved it.” I took a step forward. My hands shook so much I wrung them together to distract from the uncontrollable tremors. “I don’t want him to be the one to turn me. If this is going to happen, I want it to be with someone I ... trust.” I nearly whispered the last word.
He seemed taken aback before he quickly schooled his expression. “You trust me?”
“Yes.”
He shook his head slightly in disbelief, or maybe he wanted to protest, to tell me I was wrong.
“Sebastian, you’ve given me no reason not to trust you. You have always been there for me. You accepted me without question. You’ve seen me, truly seen me, without searching for what I should be. I want you to do it.” My conviction grew with each word. “I want it to be you.”
He reached out, taking both of my shaking hands in his, stilling them.
He took a moment to absorb my words before he finally spoke. “Do you realize what you would be giving up?Since the moment we met, you wanted nothing but to be normal. After this, you wouldn’t just be an outcast from society, they will hunt you down to remove you from this world.”
I sighed. Finally voicing what I had always feared. “Clearly, I was never meant to be normal. But maybe I could create my own sense of normalcy.”
“If we manage to close the portal, you’d be the only vampire in your world. You’d need to feed, and you’d be quickly found out.”
“I could go to Dreigo.” It came out like a question.
He closed the distance between us, cupping my face in his hands. His eyes burned with an intensity I couldn’t look away from. “You’d be giving up your whole life, Charlotte.”
“Maybe I’m finally standing up for myself, taking what I want. Maybe I’m finally living. I was never meant for this world anyway.”
“What about your family?” His thumbs began caressing my cheekbones. A weightlessness rocked through me.
“I’ve had to hide so much from them. I don’t want to hide who I am anymore. I want to live without this weight over me, without the constant wondering of when it will finally crush me. We have been taught to kill vampires with no remorse. I couldn’t bear to have them see me that way. I don’t want to see that shift in their eyes.” I’d miss Mother and Father, of course. Though Father’s time was mostly consumed by the Society, and Mother had always despised me. Maybe I just felt obligated to miss her. But Olivia, the thought of being without her killed me. It’s taken everything in me to keep those thoughts hidden. I knew I had to face them eventually, but it wouldn’t be now, maybe not anytime soon.
