Realization was slow to sink in.
“I couldn’t stop,” he bit out.
Oh. “But you did stop.”
He shook his head. He was still glued to the bookshelf. “I lost control.”
I sat up further, tucking my knees into my chest. The drafts whirled around the library sending pricks across my skin. I shivered slightly. “I shouldn’t have run.” Guilt began to bloom within me. I taunted the predator, forcing him to hunt, without acknowledging how the kill would affect him.
“I let myself lose control.” The void of emotion in his voice unsettled me. Though I was used to his blankness now, this was different.
I crawled over to him. He stiffened at my approach, but I settled close beside him. I became aware of the blood between my legs as his eyes flashed downwards, a hunger washing over them. I grabbed his hand and held it in both of mine. He grew even more rigid. It was a strange turn of events I never thought I’d see.Hewas afraid ofme.
“Sebastian, I’m sorry I ran. I’m sorry I put you in this position. But I don’t regret it.”
His eyes searched my face. “This could never happen again.”
A pang tore through me. I squeezed his hand to find purchase, to cling to what would keep me from falling through the ground. And I knew it then, what I couldn't ignore any longer. I didn’t want to lose him. I could question it later, maybe find a way to weasel out of these feelings, but for now, I had to hang on. I had to keep him close.
“What if I want it to happen again?” I whispered.
His eyes ignited. “I’ve never lost control like that, but when I’m around you, Iwantto lose control. Now that I’ve tasted you, I can’t get enough of you, and I will take until there is nothing left.”
A smart person would have run at that, but I didn’t exactly know what I was. Instead, I lifted myself onto his lap, straddlinghim. Painfully aware of my bare center pressed against him, just the thin fabric of his shorts separating us. He let out a strained breath. I placed my hands on either side of his face, sifting through the dark glass of his eyes, trying to find some bit of emotion I could hold. Wherever his emotions were, they were well beneath the surface, tethered to the bottom. And I had a feeling he was intentionally keeping them there. And that scared me. Without his emotions, how would he find me?
“You won’t hurt me,” I murmured, my voice meant to soothe.
As he was about to protest, I leaned into him, pressing my breasts into his firm chest. Reveling in the exchange of warmth, the pressure, craving a bit of friction. His eyes heated. Desire was one thing he couldn’t hide so well.
“I want this, Sebastian. I want you. I don’t know what that means, and I’ll have to figure it out later. Do you want me?” The question laid heavy in the air.
His expression grew pained before it was wiped away, concealed. “I ... Charlotte, we ...”
“Say what you mean. You need to be clearer.” I couldn’t hide the smirk as I repeated his own words back to him.
His lips curled into a dark smile. A flicker of amusement crossed his eyes. “Yes. I want you, Charlotte.” His velvet ladened words caressed my skin, curling tightly around me. I squeezed my inner thighs against his hips.
“Then please don’t pull away.”
The request was sealed with a promising kiss. His arms wrapped tightly around me, as did mine around him. We couldn’t get close enough. I opened for him as his tongue glided across my bottom lip, and he took me. The longer we kissed, the lighter I felt, until we finally had to stop for air.
We looked into each other’s eyes for a long moment until he seemed to come to a disappointing conclusion. He reached for mygown and gestured for me to raise my arms as he fitted it over my head. He grabbed my discarded panties, shoving them in the waistband of his shorts, and managed to stand with me still wrapped around him. I tightened my legs, crossing them at the ankles around his back. His hands held firmly to my rear. Our eyes locked the entire walk back to his rooms. I was surprised he didn’t run into anything.
He laid me down atop the soft mattress and disappeared into the bathroom. He returned with a damp towel, gently running the warm cloth over my inner thigh. His eyes held a certain warmth I never thought I’d feel from someone as he handled me carefully, washing away all traces of blood.
He came to bed, flipping me to my side as he settled in behind me. His arm draped over me tightly, pressing me into him. His fingers brushed along my neck as he moved my hair over my shoulder. He kissed along my nape and bit into my shoulder softly. I shivered.
“Goodnight, killer,” he crooned.
“Goodnight ... Sebby.”
He groaned. “Not you too.” He nuzzled into my neck, sending me squirming and giggling. “I’ll let it slide, only for you.”
* * *
I didn’t remember drifting off to sleep, but my eyes opened to the darkened room. I blinked through the fog to see a dark silhouette at the window, highlighted by the silver moonlight. He looked out into the night. His hand braced against the window frame above his head. I traced the shadows along his broad, muscled back. His hair was ruffled from sleep. He looked to the slumbering land searching for the answers there. He was likely plagued with the same thoughts rooted within my own head.
Grappling with the loose threads that had faltered, that joined our worlds. A crime against fate, against the delicate workings ofnature. Trying to hold on to those threads, hold on to the bridge that brought us together, wondering when it would be lost. Separating us forever.
