“Charlotte, your world is comprised of fools. Though they may hurt you, you can bring far more harm to yourself than anyone can. Don’t fall down that path.”
He was so close. His warm breath skittered across my lips. It was minty, and it left my head within a haze. I nodded slowly, unsure of what to say. My words were swallowed up by his proximity.
“Believing what they say is the second blow, hiding who you are because of it is the third, changing yourself is the fourth, and so on, until you’ve pummeled yourself into the ground. We can’t control all that is around us, but you have far more power than you think.”
I nodded again, catching myself before I leaned in any closer. He had a magnetic pull, closing the distance only felt right.
Until I remembered.
“What did you do last night?” I whispered.
“What do you mean?”
“You did something. It felt like you took away my pain.”
His eyes shifted, hiding what I couldn’t catch. “I did not take away your pain. I took away your fear. Fear influences pain. It makes it worse. I calmed you down to the point of sedation.”
“You can do that?” I whispered. Moment after moment came crashing into my head as I recalled that strange sense of calm I had felt with Sebastian and Alaric.
I reeled back, plastering my body even further against the carriage wall. But he only came closer, not allowing me to escape him.
“You controlled myemotions?” I couldn’t believe the words that left me. He went inside my head, moved stuff around, took parts of me. It was a violation.
“I cannot control emotions in the way that you are thinking.”
“Was anything real?” The words barely audible, a slip of the tongue. A thought I hadn’t meant to reveal. A thought I had hardly even revealed to myself. A thought I did not want to see. Were my feelings for him ever real? If he could manipulate them, then he could bend them to his will, shape them into whatever suited him.
His eyes darkened. He leaned in even further, any closer and our lips would brush. “What do you mean?”
I shook my head slowly.
“I can only manipulate fear, which means I can also soothe and create calm. I can make you feel terrified, which is what Alaric did to you last night, but I can also take that fear away. I cannot manipulate any other emotion. We are predators. It’s just a product of evolution.” I jolted slightly as he held on to my chin, keeping my eyes within his, keeping me from turning away. “Charlotte, I have only ever calmed you down when you were afraid.”
“What if I should have been afraid of you this entire time, and you have manipulated me so much to the point where I feel safe around you. What if that’s not real?”
“Maybe you think you should be afraid of me because you think that would make you normal. Because it’s what you have been taught. But you aren’t afraid of me. I haven’t manipulated your fear enough to also manipulate your thoughts. It doesn’t work that way.”
He was right. I remembered every time that strange sensation washed through me, and he hadn’t done it that often. I had beenafraid of him at first, but that fear did dissipate rather quickly. Replaced with something I’d rather not look at right now.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“For fear of this reaction.”
I frowned. “That is no reason to keep something from someone. That is cowardly.”
“Your fear is so ... palpable. I don’t like seeing you afraid.”
Well, how could I be mad at him now?
His thumb started brushing along my bottom lip. Back and forth. Back and forth. I nearly closed my eyes at the soothing motions. Tingles erupted and fled down my back.
“You can’t do that again. I need to be in control of my emotions.”
“Okay.”
“Unless ... I ask for it.”
He smirked and nodded once.
