His nostrils twitched. His alert eyes flicked to my bloodied hand and then back to me. He breathed in deeply. “We’re not supposed to feed from you, but surely one taste couldn’t hurt.” He grinned, flashing his fangs.
I stepped back as he stepped towards me. The dagger weighed heavy on my hip. My hand twitched towards it, but I couldn’t quite lift my arm. He stalked closer, and I stepped back until my back hitthe wall.Why couldn’t I do it?I didn’t think he would kill me. They were Alaric’s soldiers. He likely was not allowed to kill me. But I did not want him to feed from me either, and he was a newborn. His control was limited. Though he may not intend to, he could very likely kill me.
But as I looked at his face that held a sneer, it also held a thinly veiled innocence. His eyes seemed deranged, sure, but they also hadn’t seen many years. His life was taken by Alaric. Perhaps, his death would be a mercy. But then the red would spill. And I just couldn’t see it. I couldn’t feel it. It would stain my skin and go beyond, sinking deeper, tarnishing my soul. And I couldn’t—
I gasped as he was yanked backwards, and a strong hand gripped my neck, whirling me around. Sebastian. He cradled the back of my neck. His other hand gripped my arm firmly, stilling me. He turned me away from the boy and held my eyes. His face took up my field of vision. He was all that I saw as Pari ended the young man.
We lingered for a moment. He seemed to piece me together as his eyes shifted subtly around my face. Likely wondering why I had just stood there as a vampire was about to eat me. Just like before in the Hushed Woods, I had done nothing. And I looked back to him, attempting to piece him together as well. He turned me away from what he knew I couldn't bear to see.
A shadow moved in the corner. My eyes slid over to it, past Sebastian’s shoulder. Alaric stood perfectly still, his expression placid, though his eyes bore into me. He seemed disappointed, and if I could have believed it, slightly confused.
And I arrived at the part of the night where it all became too much. I turned to the waste basket by the desk and heaved.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Pari slipped through my bedroom door, closing it softly with her behind. She balanced two silver platters on her hands that were piled high with a variety of tea cakes, meats, cheeses, and fruit. She took large steps, attempting to be quiet, as she hobbled over to the bed. She set the food down and jumped into bed beside me. It was late into the night, and Pari always spent the night with me after one of these missions. She also always snuck into the kitchen to get comfort food.
“You only got sick once this time.” She smiled, shrugging her shoulders. She often tried to guide me towards silver linings.
“I’ve learned to not eat anything at least three hours before,” I said flatly. The memory threatened to turn my stomach, but it also growled violently. I picked up a blackberry cream cake and bit into it. It melted in my mouth, and I savored its ripe sweetness. They were my favorite. They made me long for summer and the wild entanglement of brambles along the countryside. I craved the sweet scent that hung in the air as the blazing sun warmed the fruit.
“Sebastian is the most skilled I’ve ever seen.” She reached for a cube of cheese.
“Apart from you.” I grinned.
“Usually I’d agree.” She grinned back. “But now I’m not so sure. I can see why your father made him his secondhand. I’ve never seen someone move as fluidly as him. It was almost distracting. A vampire nearly got my throat.”
I held back the words that ached to spill free. Maybe he should dull his abilities, though a part of me knew he would probably never do that and likely be offended to hear it.
She continued, “That was the most vampires I had ever seen. Have more come through the portal?” She knew I spied on the Society meetings.
“From what I’ve heard, no. It’s always guarded.” Unless the vampires used illusions to get through and past the guards. I couldn’t say that, of course. And Sebastian had said their side was guarded too. They didn’t allow vampires to pass through to the human world.
Her face grew haunted. “So, they’re all ...”
“Newborns,” I said grimly. Meaning they were all humans once, whose lives had been taken. By Alaric. Though that was another thing I could not say. I had to be careful with my collection of growing secrets. “I don’t believe the Society has ever been able to catch a true vampire.” Now I knew why, with abilities like illusions. “We have always been fighting against newborns. I’m not sure how many true vampires are in our world.” At least two, I knew for sure.
“This is all far worse than I ever knew.” She looked at the cakes with a mournful expression.
“Yes, I’m learning that as well.” I met her gaze with equal sorrow set upon a lemon cake.
How far would Alaric go? He meant to conquer. He would create an unbeatable army and overtake us all. A dark thought entered my mind like a chilling breeze, a whisper through the night. A call I could never answer to, yet it made itself clear all the same. I had never heard of Father mentioning anything of Alaric. As far as I knew, the Society did not know of his existence. I was likely the only one who could ever get close to him, let alone see him. He was taking so many lives, and he would only take more. I had a clear opportunity. He wanted me as his bride after all. But I’d never been able to reach for my dagger, even in the cold face of death. And I doubted he would ever allow me to reach for it. I didn’t know all that the tracking spell allowed him to glimpse of me. Perhaps he could know my intentions. I wasn’t so sure of what the spell really meant. And even if he couldn’t read my intentions, he was far stronger than me.
A noble thought, yet one I cowered from.
I shuddered at the thought of taking a life. Even his.
“Charlotte.” I looked up to see Pari staring at me. “You didn’t even try.” Her voice was so small. I knew what she meant. “And why did you wander off on your own? We never split up. He came so close ... you came so close to ...” Death.
“I ...” I hesitated. “I had thought I heard something, and you know how I am.”
“You’re protecting your life. You deserve to protect your life. You have the right to protect your life, and youshouldprotect your life, Charlotte.” I looked down. I couldn’t take her heated gaze. Giant, chocolate brown saucers filled with a ferocity I could only dream to muster. “If I lost you ...” she whispered.
I looked back to her eyes, now glistening with unshed tears. “I’m sorry, Pari. I don’t know ... I don’t know what it is.” I sighed. “We can double our trainings.” I smiled meekly.
“We may have to triple them.” She forced a teasing smile, though her eyes were still wary. It was silent for a moment until she asked what I hoped she wouldn’t. “What did you hear?” Her tone cautious, gently approaching a lost doe.
“I had thought I heard someone crying. Which was probably just the vampire pretending, luring me away from you. Clearly it worked.” I glanced down to the pistachio cream cake I picked up, draped in a vibrant spring green, hoping she wouldn’t pry further.
