I sighed. “It’s just ... easier this way. And I know it’s what my parents have always wanted. Wedding a Society member should finally divert their attention elsewhere.” I yanked the dagger free.
“Wedding?” Her mouth hung open. “Now you’re thinking of marriage? What has gotten into you, Charlotte?”
She knew I had always despised courting, though perhaps it was more of who was courting me. I didn’t despise love. I just hadn’t found anyone to fall in love with. Not when most of my world was consumed with vampires and what sought me through the dark, and now those things had begun to address me personally. It seemed the more I ran, the quicker it all caught up with me. So, maybe it was finally time to turn towards what was always looming behind me. And once the portal was closed and the vampires were gone, Father would find a new project to pour all of his attention into, and he’ll forget all about me ever courting a member since the Society would be no more.
The thought filled me with promise. With the vampires gone, that meant Alaric would be gone, along with the hauntings he had plagued me with. I’d have nothing to hide from. Nothing to conceal. I imagined what a weightless world felt like, and the urge to float away teetered on the edge of rapture and devastation.
“During the initiation Father had essentially told Sebastian to maintain a watchful eye over me. As in, he believes there’s something that should be seen. He’s growing suspicious.”
Pari seemed to carefully pick out her words. “Is there something to be suspicious of?”
I eyed her cautiously, and it pained me that I couldn’t be truthful. It’s not that I didn’t trust her; I didn’t trust the air that would carry my words or the leaves of the trees they’d tangle with. I shouldn’t have even confided in Elsie. The words should have remained locked within the confines of my mind. They shouldn’t exist outside of me. It was better if they were never spoken.
“It seems that no matter what I do, they just don’t believe that I’m better. I don’t think they ever will.” It was the truth. “This is the last thing they’d expect, though it is well within their expectations, and it will be within my favor to abide by them.”
Pari winced slightly. “Do you like Sebastian?”
I stopped my face from revealing the innate repulsion I felt at the idea oflikinghim, let alone anything more. Though I couldn’t deny all of my feelings. Most of them consisted of my distaste for him and the instinctual response to run far from him, but there was something else. Something that hid within the tiny fractures of the distance I aimed to keep between us.
She read my silence. “You deserve to be with someone you love, Charlotte.”
I let out a wobbly laugh. “Our world is filled with marriages of convenience, politics, and securing deals, Pari. It is not so outlandish to marry for reasons other than love.”
“It is outlandish for you.” The sun peaked out from the veil of gray and revealed the amber that warmed her eyes. It was faint, but it was there. Disappointment.
“Not everyone gets to have a choice.”
* * *
I perused the library as if I didn’t know everything that existed here. The manor’s library primarily held historical texts, as well as texts onbusiness and politics. Father was a merchant that had done very well for himself, and that was the extent to which my knowledge touched on the topic. He was often away on business, though we would spot each other in brief glimpses here. I enjoyed reading the slim folklore collection we had, and as Father noticed me reading the same books over and over again, he had more books brought in to suit my tastes. He dedicated a corner of the library to me, and though we didn’t have the closest relationship, those were the gestures that showed me he must have cared after all.
I attempted to eye every title, though that would take far longer than a day for my eyes to land on each one. The bookshelves extended far past my height. Rolling ladders were attached to reach the highest books, as well as spiral stairs to second and third story balconies. There were two words I searched for:vampireanddemon.I already knew all of those texts were exclusive to my father’s smaller library within his study. But I held out hope that I might get lucky. Though I snuck around a lot, I tried to limit my sleuthing for fear of getting caught, which certainly would have made matters far worse for me.
As I was craning my neck to see the higher shelves, a thud caught my attention. I followed the sound to my corner of the library. A book had fallen to the ground. That most definitely was not a thing that could justhappen.
I glanced around the library. The walls consisted of floor-to-ceiling, dark, wooden shelves filled to the brim with books. The ceiling loomed high above, arched with stained glass windows that let the muted light in through rich reds, deep blues, and an array of other jeweled colors. There were sofas, settees, and armchairs littered about the floor and smaller bookshelves that someone could hide behind.
If someone was there, they did not let their presence be known, and the library remained silent, save for the soft patter of rain against the windows and the crackling fire in the hearth.
My heart stuttered as the book fell open. I stared wide-eyed as the pages started to turn, one by one. And something peculiar unfurled within me, akin to comfort, as if a strange sort of closure released me from the binds of uncertainty. Knowing this was Alaric should not have brought me comfort. If anything, my fear should have worsened, which in a way it certainly did. But in other ways relief bloomed in the distant corners. I knew what ailed me now. I finally had answers. For some reason, I had become unfortunate enough to capture the attention of a deranged vampire.
Now that he had made himself known, it had brought on an entirely new array of discomforts. I took in a breath as I approached the book once the pages stopped turning. I wrapped my arms around my middle as the temperature dropped within the room, glancing over my shoulder at the eyes that burned through my back. Though I was still alone.
Atop the wooden floor, stained with a rich chocolate brown, was one of my folklore books. On one page, a decrepit creature was mid-hobble. Its back hunched over, talons outstretched as it sought whatever it had its sight set on.Keeper of souls, the venimar feeds on deception and is summoned to consume those of no loyalty. It can whittle out your soul, and it will remain for eternity in the venimar’s rotting stomach.I frowned as I read the ancient text.
A chill ran down my neck as my hair shifted over one of my shoulders, exposing my bare skin. I leapt away from the phantom contact, whirling around. Now that I knew this was Alaric, it had become nearly impossible to remain still at his taunts. I sucked in a cold breath as I saw him.
He leaned against one of the settees near the hearth. The fire cast a warm glow and shadows that tangled together along one side of hisface, adding to his already unsettling appearance. He wore a fitted black tailcoat and trousers made of fine material and a burgundy waistcoat that brought out the subtle hint of green in his eyes, that I now realized were hazel. There was a kindness that emitted from him, but it turned my stomach sour. My body knew it wasn’t real. His arms were crossed at his chest casually, and he looked as if he were about to scold me. I glared back at him.
“I expect a warmer welcome from my future bride,” he purred with an irritating smirk.
I glanced down at the grotesque creature. “Is this how you see yourself? It appears pretty accurate to me.”
His smirk darkened. “If you’d like me to be a vile, repulsive monster, I certainly can be.”
“As if you aren’t already?”
“You have yet to see what I can become, and I promise, sweet dove, you don’t want to be acquainted with such unpleasantries.”
