This shouldn’t hurt this much. Shouldn’t feel like swallowing burning coals. I’ve always heard that losing your alpha can make an omega go insane. I think of his father. Liam told me he waited by his omega’s bed, hoping to hold her scent for as long as he could. Holding on for his five children until he couldn’t hold on anymore. When Liam shared his story with me, I was furious. I sat quietly and listened, but inside I fumed. His selfish act cost Liam and his brothers so much.
I didn’t get it, now I do. At least his father had the solace of knowing that it wasn’t his wife’s choice to leave. I don’t have that comfort. As bad as it is, it’s so much worse knowing my mate could be here but chose someone else.
I try to function. I walk the property the next morning. Eight acres of nothing but trees and a creek that's more rocks than water this time of year. I count my steps. Two hundred to the creek bed and back to the cabin. I name the birds I don't recognize. Chirpy bird. Pretty bird. Bird that sounds like it's mocking me.
I avoid thinking about Liam and fail.
Constantly.
I think about the way his thumb traced my jawline in the kitchen at 2 a.m., slow and deliberate, like he was memorizing the shape of me. I think about the sound he made when I took him in my mouth, that broken groan that felt like victory. I think about the look on his face when he saidI can't. The way the door closed behind him.
He's here but not here. He's in the creak of the porch steps when I walk outside. In the way the wind rattles the back window at night. In the empty space beside me in the narrow bed. In the weight of an arm that used to sling over my waist like it belonged there.
Stop. Stop it.
I don't.
Omegas are built for this. Built to fixate. We're nesting creatures, pair-bonding creatures, and I've been denied my bond, denied my alpha, denied the closure of a proper goodbye. So my body does what bodies do when they're grieving. It mourns.
I'm boiling water for instant coffee when my phone buzzes on the counter. I almost ignore it. Paula's been texting since I left—gentle check-ins, memes she thinks will make me smile, updates about the shop. I've been responding with single words. Fine. Yeah. Later.
I ignore it. It buzzes again. And again until I pick up the phone.
PAULA:You sitting down?
PAULA:I'm serious. Sit.
PAULA:Bethany Lyles eloped.
The water boils over, hissing against the burner. I don't move to turn it off. I read the text three times before my brain processes the words.
ME:What?
PAULA:Check the news.
She sends a screenshot. I don't need the article. The headline is enough.
BETHANY LYLES ELOPES WITH SINGAPOREAN BUSINESSMAN. ENGAGEMENT TO LIAM VAUGHN DISSOLVED.
The water keeps boiling. The hiss becomes a scream. I reach over and twist the knob. The silence is worse.
The news processes as cold, empty static behind my eyes. Then comes the bitter satisfaction, because apparently I'm petty like that.Good. You didn't get your perfect little dynasty wedding either, you bastard.
Then the real hit. The one that drives my knees into the cabinet below the sink. He's free now. The bond, that yawning, aching thing in my chest, doesn't care about logic. It doesn't care about anger or pride or the fact that he left me standing in my shop after kissing me like the world was ending. It howls. It wants to call him. To croon. To fix this, now that the obstacle is gone.
My brain—treacherous bitch—whispers:He'll come back now. Now that he can. Now that she's not—
I yank the thought out by the root.
No.
I will not be the fallback omega. The consolation prize. The, oh well, you'll do. I pour the scorched coffee and drink it black. It sears my tongue, bitter as poison. I stare at the article until thewords blur into meaningless shapes. I am not a spare. I am not a second choice.
ME:Doesn't matter. Liam Vaughn can kiss my ass.
The three dots appear immediately.
PAULA:Something I'm sure he wouldn't mind. And when he's finished, you guys can get on with your life.
