After a final wave to Nero and Madre, Zeno and I get into his car, which has been loaded with my multiple suitcases of everything I’m taking to school.
Zeno drives off, and in the side mirrors, I watch my family get smaller and smaller. The house eventually fades, and then we turn out of view entirely.
Zeno makes small talk during the trip, but his mind is clearly elsewhere. It leaves a lot of room for my own thoughts.
Many of my group chats have been going off on my phone all day, but I haven’t responded to anything. At this point, I maydelete them. Hardly anyone I attended school with is going to the same university, and those who are aren’t people I regularly hung out with.
Besides Amara. She too has been messaging on and off, seeing as she’s moving in today as well, though to a different building on campus.
University will be my fresh start, to be who I’d prefer to be and not the girl I’ve been feigning. While I love my friends and spending time with them, there is such a thing as beingtoosocial, and that was the life I led. In my determination to ensure Zeno and Madre felt they made the correct choices, that I wouldn’t burden them by being around, I focused on getting accepted into the “right” social groups and doing all the corresponding activities—events, parties—while also maintaining consistently high grades.
It was exhausting, and not the true me.
I’m warm cookies, curled on the couch, watching reality shows kind of person. My socializing could come from the internet, and it’d be fine. Not that I’m opposed to having a social life in university too, but maybe one where I’m not trying so hard. Without Madre and Zeno around, it’s possible.
Which is why, when my phone vibrates again, I’m thirty seconds away from switching the notifications off.
At the same time, Zeno’s phone lights up with a text, Lev’s name flashing across the screen. He briefly reads the message before summarizing, “He’s at the dorm.”
“Wonderful.”
His lips pinch. “You asked for him, Sera. The Bratva pulled a lot of shit to make this happen, so be nice.”
Yet again, I’m a liability to others. Why was I stubborn?
Shaking the thought off, I shoot back, “He’snot the issue.” Ever since our talk, my mood flip-flops between acceptance and understanding and annoyance. Today, on move-in day, I’m notannoyed per se, but…weirded out. Almost like Ishouldbe more annoyed by the prospect of a personal stalker and that’s what is confusing to my mood.
Zeno grabs his phone and taps the screen a few times before tossing the device into my lap. “That’s his number. Program it in yours as an emergency number, just in case.”
“Seems a bit much.”
“Do it to put my mind at ease.”
“Whatever.” I make a new contact from Lev’s number before handing Zeno back his cell.
Mine buzzes again, reaching the max of my temper, but it’s not one of the numerous group chats. It’s the other important one, who’ll distract me from the fact that, as of this afternoon, I’ll be living with Lev, a virtual stranger. He’ll be reporting my every step, piss, and breath to Zeno.
Tipping the phone until Zeno can’t see my screen and giving him the opportunity to pull his big brother act and annoy me about Alessio, I swipe it awake.
<3
Bad news. I won’t be attending this semester.
Pretty sure, my stomach physically drops to my feet. How can one sentence change so much? I’ve been excited to attend school with him in the place we met. To sit at a table or beneath a tree and snuggle while studying. To camp out in the library and sneak treats to one another.
We’re in different programs and years, so I wasn’t expecting to share classes with him, or even wanted to spend every waking second together…butsomeof them, sure.
Me
WHY?
<3
There’s shit going on. Stuff I can’t tell you. I hope to come back next semester.
Between him and Zeno, there’s a lot of stuff I’m not getting told.
Me
