“Of course not.”
Her frown breaks, and she squeezes my hand. “Sorry. When he’s like this, I get…well, doesn’t matter.”
“It’s fine. Should I leave him be?”
She stares down the hallway again, humming. “You know…no, I don’t think so. You might be the only one he’d be interestedin being around. You’ve broken every other barrier, so why not this one?”
“I’ve broken no barriers. He’s done it all himself.”
Her voice trails me to his room, barely heard before I’m shutting his door. “My point exactly.”
In his room, shower noises comes from the bathroom. I rush through the space, past the new TV he installed in here the other day, and into his bathroom. The glass doors are already steamed, the mirror above the sink well on its way too.
A Lev-shaped blur is visible, his palms against the wall, head lowered as hot water pelts his back.
I strip quickly and quietly to join him. The door sends a cool stream of air into the steamed glass box, but he shows no sign that he cares I’m entering. I stroke over his wet back and up the old scars and tattoos that indicate his dedication to this life.
“Hi,” he murmurs so quietly, the water drowns most of it out.
“You okay?”
“The person who fed Vitale information is gone.” Coiled muscles spring to life when he turns around, revealing specks of red rinsing on face and neck. Besides the drying blood splatter being washed away, he seems alright—physically.
There isn’t anything to really say except,“Grazie,”and I wrap my arms around his waist, giving him whatever I can, whatever parts of me he needs to heal.
After a few stiff and awkward seconds, his muscles uncoil, and his arms come around my body, his own curving over me. He buries his face in my hair, and we remain like that for a long moment until, with a shuddered breath in my neck, he turns us around until the hot water hits my back.
“It’s not killing that bothers me,” he murmurs. “Not even close, actually. I don’t…feeltheir deaths, if that makes sense. Taking Vitale’s life was simple, and no less than what I dreamed about. Previous kills never mattered; they were my job. And sowas this one—because it’s my job to keep you safe, and there’s no way you’ll be living in an organization where someone can be bought so easily. But I hate how fighting brings me back to another time.”
“Do you need to talk about it?” Although, knowing Lev, I think we just did.
As presumed, he shakes his head. “This is perfect. Just stay, please. Stay. That’s all…that’s all I need from you.”
His trauma is always hinted at, never spoken aloud. There’s something he isn’t saying. Something big. Though it might be years before it’s mentioned again, I don’t prod.
Minutes pass before his hold loosens, and he tilts my face with a finger beneath my chin. “Make no mistake, I’ll torture and murder anyone who comes near you, no matter the flashbacks. You’ve been mine to protect since day one, and that isn’t stopping now. Mine to protect…mine to care for.”
Then he lowers onto his knees to show me exactly what his brand of care is.
He grips my thigh and tosses it over his shoulder, barely letting me catch my breath before his mouth is on my core, his tongue bringing me to the edge. Electricity makes my body tingle, my back arching off the shower wall to press into him, getting closer,needingmore.
Needinghim.
“Lev.” I push my hips backwards and try to lower my leg while nudging at his head. “Lev, stop.”
He does immediately, tipping his head back. “Are you not feeling well?”
Ever since we’ve gotten back from Italy, he’s been overly gentle, never wanting to push me too hard. We haven’t had sex yet because he fears my concussion flaring up. Whether that’s possible, I don’t know.
“I feel great. But I want you.”
Fire ignites, which he quickly douses. “Not until?—”
A finger to his lips shuts him up. “Lev, I’m fine, and I wantyou.Right now. I think, after today, you need it too. To feel that I’m yours.” I grasp his hand from my hip and rest it atop my breast, where my heart is. “Only yours.”
Maybe it was my words, maybe it was the mention of what he endured today, but it seems to unlock his resistance. Lev stands and wraps his arms around my hips in one movement, my legs winding around his hips. He grasps himself, rubbing the head of his cock through my wetness.
“All mine,” he grates before pulling me down on him. “Only mine. No one will touch you. No one will hurt you. I’ll slaughter the world to keep you safe. I’ll return to my prison cell if it means you live a long, happy life.” His hips slap against mine as his eyes, glazed, centre on me. I realize whatever I did, I didn’t just unlock his restraint—I shattered it.
