Anastasia takes me on the backstage tour and even introduces me to some of the stagehands, explaining what everyone does. It’s an entire system to ensure her shows run smoothly, though commenting that gains a few chuckles from both her and the stagehands, who explain issuesalwayscome up last-minute.
She takes me on stage and shows me where she’ll enter from, pointing out her mental markers and various lights and ropes hanging above us, hidden from the audience by the curtains, and explaining how they control the curtain mechanisms.
Standing in the centre of the wide stage, I gaze out at the massive auditorium. Besides the odd staff walking around, it’s empty. Even so, shivers course down my back, and I couldn’t imagine being her—the star of the show.
“To think, you’ll be alone up here while it’s packed down there.”
“Sold out,” she chimes a few feet away, spreading her arm over the invisible audience. “It used to be nerve-wracking, but now, it’s second nature. Helps that I’m basically blind up here.”She points to the edge of the stage, where lights point towards her. “Those ensure I hardly see anything.”
She leads me back to where Lev waits by the stage’s side entrance, and then through the halls to her dressing room. Inside, she displays her various outfits: everything from traditional white tutus to coloured bodysuits draped with chiffon and jewels.
“Which one are you wearing tonight?”
“You’ll have to wait and see with everyone else. Speaking of”—she glances at the clock on the wall—“people will be arriving soon. You guys can slip through one of the side doors and get to your seats that way.” She glances at Lev. “Remember the route?”
“It may have been a while, but my memory is good. You should know that by now,” he drawls, hands in his pockets.
“Sure, but messing with you is fun.”
Lev offers me his arm and leads me away with a final wave towards Anastasia.
“There’s so much that goes on back here,” I comment as he walks me back the way we came, passing the stage entrance to stop by a different door up ahead markedExit.
He tugs me to a stop, glances around to ensure we’re alone, and then backs me into the wall. When he kisses me, it feels different than usual. His tongue sweeps my mouth, and his fingers link with mine, but it’s not that at all. It’s…more.
It’s a forbidden emotion I’m unsure if I can or should admit aloud, even to myself. It’ll drive him away, I’m almost sure of it, in his honour to do what’s right.
So, while I remain silent, I show him in my touch, silently pleading for him to never let me go. Tokeepme. My mouth opens beneath his—as does the rest of me. He can have it all: heart, mind, body, soul.
He pulls back, dropping his forehead to mine, breathing ragged. “We should get to our seats before I’m tempted to keep you back here and we miss the entire thing.”
His hand remains low on my bare back as he leads me through the door into the auditorium, faced with the thousands of seats I recently saw from the stage. To our right are stairs leading up to the stage, others towards the upper balconies.
“This way.” His low voice rolls over my bare shoulder as he leads me to the front row, to the seats closest to the aisle. He takes the outermost one, me the other. “We have about a half-hour until the show starts.”
For twenty of those thirty minutes, I’m enthralled by observing other guests claim their seats. No one’s arrived in our row yet, but there are a few on the opposite side of the aisle. Idle chatter fills in a quiet hum, though I wonder how quiet it is for him.
“It’s amazing how many people are here for Ana.”
“She sells out almost immediately.”
“Does she perform often?”
“Often enough, but not as much as in the past.”
“Any reason?”
“Our father. As you know, he wasn’t kind to us, and he took Ana’s passion for dancing and nearly destroyed her. Would have, had she not been so resilient.”
Pride fills his voice. It’s the first compliment I’ve heard him give her. “It’s good she found reasons to dance without him around.”
As more people settle around us, Lev is growing stiffer. His hand has the armrest in a tight grip, and his shoulders are nearly up to his ears. His jaw is all hard lines and deadly anger that makes me want to touch him, to soothe him. His gaze burns into the curtain hiding the stage.
While Anastasia is still backstage, I take the risk and rest my hand over his. “Breathe. You’re okay.”
He obeys, inhaling deeply until his shoulders lower. “There are so many people around.”
“If I didn’t know you as well as I do, the annoying voice in my head would remind me my interests are bringing you down. Knowing you’re not thinking like that, I’ll simply say thank you. Thank you for bringing me tonight, even when it’s not easy. Most of what you’ve done for me hasn’t been easy, and I appreciate every instance.”
