“And how do you know what I mean?” Narae countered, angling her head. She watched as Jury’s face went red.
“Because I just do!”
“Well, Thrall told Daemon that Koe looks at you a certain way.” Narae planted her hands on her hips and stared down at Jury. “Does he have a thing for you?”
“How in the hell would I know?”
But Jury wouldn’t meet Narae’s gaze now, and it was telling. “Doyouhave a thing forhim?”
“Look,” Jury threw her pillow aside and got up from the bed. “Let’s just rest. You’ll sleep here with me. We’ll cuddle and catch up, and in the morning, we’ll figure out where to go next.”
And just that fast, Narae’s gut twisted with something unpleasant. Chest going tight, the air suddenly felt thick, and the room too small. “I…can’t,” she breathed and backed up a step, dropping her eyes.
“What?” Jury followed Narae with her eyes. “What do you mean you can’t? Can’t what?”
Narae kept backing up. “I can’t sleep in here with you.”
A look of utter confusion wrecked Jury’s face. “What do you mean? We’re sisters. Of course you can! We’ve shared a bed a million times.”
“I know.” Narae held up her hands, palm side out. “I know. But…I can’t.” Lowering her hands, she admitted. “Watching Bragga kill you did something to me.” Tears flooded her eyes. “It fucked me up, Jury. It fucked my wolf up. I couldn’t save you. I just had to watch and wait and pray, and…” Tears started falling, and when Jury made to go to her, Narae held up a hand. Jury stopped.
“I can’t sleep near anyone. I can’t have anyone touching me when I’m trying to rest.” Her mind instantly flashed to how Daemon had held her in the truck, and how she’d rested comfortably. It’d been the first time in forever, but it was an anomaly. “I have this anxiety,” she continued, “This incessant guilt that plagues me and…”
Jury cut her off. “Guilt? Over what? You saved me, Narae. You brought me back.”
Narae was shaking her head. “Please don’t. Please don’t waste your breath trying to assuage my guilt. It’s ingrained in every fiber of my being now. It’ll never leave me. It’s who I am now. And whether it’s PTSD or just old-fashioned guilt, I don’t know, but my wolf won’t permit me any rest if anyone’s near me or touching me. I can’t tolerate it. It feels like I can’t breathe. The women in the pack tried to comfort me at night, and it felt like I was dying.” She backed toward the door. “And I know this sounds like selfish bullshit because you’re the one who went through the fire, but watching you burn destroyed me. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wish it were me. I would give anything to have taken your place on that day. And I’m sorry, Jury. I’m so utterly sorry for what was done to you and my inability to stop it. I should have done more, I should have gotten you out sooner, I should have done so many things differently. And it guts me to not be able to give you what you need now, but it’s suffocating me too. I’m sorry. Please respect what I’m tellingyou and don’t try to fix it. It can’t be fixed. I can’t be fixed. You can’t hug it out of me, you can’t love it out of me. It’s who I am now. I don’t want to talk about it ever again, and I don’t want you guilting me into trying to do something I’m telling you that I physically cannot do. You’re my sister, and I love you, but it’s torture.” She heaved a weighty sigh, “Good night, Jury. I love you.”
Turning, she opened the door and slid out into the hallway, closing the door behind her as she tried to block out the look of hurt on Jury’s face. Shoulders pressing into the door, Narae let a few more tears slide free as she dragged in a deep breath, feeling like she could finally breathe now that Jury wasn’t asking her for physical contact.
Hairs rising on her body, Narae went tense as she slowly lifted her head off the door. On the opposite side of the hall, Daemon sat against the wall, arms resting on his bent knees, expression almost pained. A few feet down, Koe sat in a similar position, head down but expression sad.
Daemon shoved to his feet and drew her attention. “We weren’t eavesdropping. Just waiting to make sure you two are okay.” He took a step toward her. “You okay?”
Embarrassed by the fact that with their shifter hearing, they’d heard every word of her conversation with Jury, Narae simply nodded. She didn’t have the energy to be mad, and honestly, she was kind of glad they’d heard what she’d said. It’d keep her from having to explain why she didn’t want anyone touching her or why she needed separate sleeping quarters.
“Follow me,” Daemon spoke softly. “I’ll take you to your own room.”
Narae nodded and glanced at Koe, who finally looked up and shot her an empty grin, it was almost apologetic. Looking at him, she said, “Swear to me that my sister will be safe.”
Koe got to his feet and lifted his chin. “I vow to you on my position as Alpha, both you and Jury are safe here among my pack. No harm will come to you, not from me,” his gaze slid to Daemon, “not from my Enforcers.” His eyes slid back to her, “And anyBiters who come here to retrieve you will regret the poor decision. I swear it.”
Swallowing hard, Narae nodded, praying that Alpha Koe was a shifter of his word.
Chapter 25
Narae woke the same way she always did, reluctantly and exhausted. Staring up at the ceiling, there was the slight relief of not having to rush to the kitchen to help the six other females prepare breakfast for the pack before helping with the laundry and daily chores. In the Biter pack, the males did nothing except provide protection. Never mind the fact that the females needed protection from them more than any outsiders.
Sitting up, Narae shoved the hair back from her face, freezing the instant she saw Demon lying curled up on the floor in front of the bedroom door. The instant she laid eyes on him, a tingling sensation drifted over her skin, then two things happened at once. One, she felt slightly betrayed that he hadn’t left as he’d said he would. And two, she felt oddly comforted. He hadn’t abandoned her, and she realized that pleased her.
The night before, Daemon had silently led her to a room a few doors down from Jury’s. Narae was grateful that he kept her room close to her sister’s. She knew he’d heard their conversation, but thankfully, he’d asked no questions. Instead, he showed her tothe room, asked if she’d needed anything, then disappeared. He’d returned with some food and a fresh change of clothes from Jury and then left again. She’d eaten first, then showered. It was a long, slow, and hot affair. She washed her hair twice, the shampoo burning the bite at her neck, but it felt good to get the residue of the Biter pack off her skin. It felt like a fresh start, and she was both eager and anxious about what was to come. Stepping out of the shower, she dried off, used some of the scented lotion Daemon had delivered with the fresh clothes, then dressed and brushed out her hair. Staring at her reflection in the mirror, she thought about Jury. They looked alike, but where Jury’s hair was raven-wing black, Narae’s was just a natural black with hints of brown. Jury’s eyes were more intense, too. Narae had always been envious of Jury’s ocean eyes; the hazel brown of her own felt drab in comparison. It made sense; they had different dads, but that didn’t affect their bond. They were sisters in every sense of the word. It made Narae feel guilty for leaving Jury the way she had. She wished she could give Jury more, but over the years, she’d given so much to Jury and the other females in the pack that it felt likethere was only a tiny bit of her left, and whether it was selfishness or self-preservation, she was protecting that small piece at all costs.
She cleaned up the bathroom, hung her wet towel on the rack, then stepped into the room. Her room was beautiful. It was similar to Jury’s, just in royal blue tones instead of lavender. It was larger than any room they had in the house at the Biter compound. At the Biter compound, the males got the largest rooms, while the females were relegated to the smallest quarters, often having to double or triple up. She and Jury had shared a room their whole lives, so it was no strain to do so at the Biter compound; in fact, she preferred it. It was easier to keep an eye on Jury when she was close.
Part of her wanted to cross to the window to look out on the Allegiance estate, but the bed was calling her by her full government name. Lights out, she climbed between the sheets, and the second her head hit the pillow, she was out.
Now, awake, she was staring at Demon, unsure what to do. Did she wake him? Did she go back to bed so he could rest longer? Did she rage at him for sneaking into her room while sheslept?Cycling through scenarios in her head, let her body fall to the side. Pulling a pillow from behind her, she shoved it under her head, her body now cattywampus on the bed as she lay there staring at Demon’s sleeping form. He was a massive wolf. A beautiful wolf. And…hers?
Her hand lifted and ghosted across the mark low on her throat. What did it mean? Where did they go from here? Not one for wading in uncertainty, she cleared her throat and sat up.
