“Do you want me to steer him away from fire science?”Gray asked quickly.“You have good reason not to want him to become too interested in it.”
She was silent for a moment.“Thanks for thinking of that.It did cross my mind the first time Noah met you and all your fire textbooks.”
“I’ll steer him toward something more age approp?—”
She cut him off gently.“It’s okay.If I were to make some topic forbidden to Noah, he would immediately become obsessed with it.I would rather have you answer his questions and hope he eventually tires of the subject and moves on to some other flavor of the week.”
Gray smiled.“He will.He’s got at least another dozen great passions ahead of him before he settles on his true calling.”
“Is fire science your true calling?”Her voice held a brittle quality, as if his answer was incredibly important, a make or break moment.
“I don’t know.It’s all just theory to me right now.I think I won’t know until I actually fight a fire.There’s always a chance I’ll hate firefighting.In which case, I would probably shift over to being a fire investigator.”
Her entire body sagged for an instant as all the rigidity went out of her spine.She caught herself and straightened quickly but not before he saw her visceral reaction to his words.
What wasthatall about?
“Bonnie, I have to ask you something, but I have a confession to make first.”
“Okay,” she said cautiously.
“Here’s the thing,” he said, searching for the right words.“I suck at knowing what other people are thinking and feeling.Like, I’m clueless at it.But I like you.A lot.And I’d really,reallylike to understand you and be able to tell how you’re feeling.You know, so I don’t make you angry or sad or upset you by accident.”
“You don’t make me angry, Gray,” she said softly.
“Give it time.I’ll mess up, eventually.My mom said I have a talent for zigging when I should zag.Especially around women.”
Bonnie smiled warmly.“You’re doing pretty good so far around me.”
He was shocked to feel his face heating up.Was he the one blushing this time?
“What’s your question, Gray?”she prompted.
“Just now, when I said I might not like firefighting, you sort of slumped for a second.I don’t know how to interpret that.”
“Oh.You noticed that, did you?”
“I did.”
“Well,” she paused.“Okay.I’m just going to blurt it out.That was me being massively relieved that might lean away from being a firefighter.”
“I suppose I get why you might not want to see people you care about doing something that took your husband from you.”He frowned.“But why do you care if I do it?”
“Because I care about you, Gray.”
“Oh.”He risked a look at her and was not entirely surprised to see her cheeks were cherry red.
They stood side by side, their elbows touching as they leaned on the half-door and both stared fixedly at the nursing calf in silence for a few minutes.
Eventually, Bonnie said conversationally, “Noah asked me last night if there are more books like the combustion book that he can read.”
“There are.”
“I was afraid of that.”
“I won’t tell him about ...”
“No.I want you to tell him.He’s smart and deserves to have his mind stimulated and challenged.I’m glad you have the education to keep ahead of him.”
