A lump forms in my throat, stopping me from answering. She’s not wrong, and yet I know this is exactly what I want.
I want her.
I want our son.
But why won’t the words pass my lips?
Is it because I don’t know how to feel about her keeping this from me? She could have told me the moment she found me. Not that she thought he was mine, but that she had a kid in general. It would have explained her insistence.
But then I wouldn’t have pushed so hard to convince her to keep the marriage. Even though I knew she had to be the same woman, she didn’t have that same reassurance. She hadn’t been sure it was me.
I scrub a hand down my face again, fingers still trembling, my heart still racing. Blood thrums in my ears, making me feel lightheaded.
I groan, dropping to the ground and wrapping my arms around my knees. “Fuck.”
“Are you alright?” Olivia asks, stepping towards me. She reaches towards me like she intends to offer me comfort, but fists her hand at her side instead.
Slowly, I shake my head. “Why didn’t you tell me from the start that you had a kid?”
Olivia crosses her arms with a snort. “You know what the number one thing women are told not to do when it comes to men?” she replies. “It’s telling them you’re a single mother. I don’t have my sister’s luck in finding a great guy who’ll accept her and her kids right away, who isn’t a total creep. I didn’t know anything about you. I had to make a choice, and I chose to protect my kid from the man I didn’t know, the one I didn’t want to be married to.”
I nod slowly. “I get it. Okay? I understand.” The thought of her introducing our kid to anyone else has a pit yawning in my stomach. “You did the right thing.”
“I know I did,” she says, dropping her arms. “I guess the question now is: are you?”
I look up, taking in the way the morning sun makes her hair shine, how her features harden as she waits for my answer.
There’s only one thing I care to ask.
“Can I meet him?”
TEN
OLIVIA
Ford shifts restlessly beside me as we drive into town. The ranch isn’t far now that I know the way, which is both relieving and a little disappointing.
To think, we’d been close to one another for weeks without even realising. For all I know, we could have crossed paths. Ford could have seen his child on the street and never thought twice about him because he never knew to look.
My stomach turns with each mile we get closer to my apartment.
“You think he’ll like me?” Ford asks quietly, nervous as he toys with the edges of his cowboy hat. “Fuck.”
“What?” I ask, glancing at him. “What’s wrong?”
“Aren’t I meant to have a present for him?”
I sigh, turning down my street. “Ford, he’s a baby. He won’t know the difference between you giving him something or nothing at all. If he were a toddler, then it’d be a whole different conversation.”
My apartment complex appears ahead, making me tense. I spot Winnie’s car in my spot, where I told her to park, and by some miracle, I find a spare in the visitor lot nearby.
“I’m glad,” he murmurs without looking at me.
“Glad about what?” I ask, looking at him as I shut off the car.
He meets my eyes, nerves darkening his features. “I’m glad he’s still young. That I didn’t miss more of his life.”
My heart skips a beat before leaping into my throat. “You are?”
