He envelops me tight. Not letting go, even when the alarm rings out again.
Even when the space goes dark, and the sounds of our house’s bustling crew go silent.
Mama lies beside me.
I’m too old to need her close. But on this day, I’m too old not to.
The duvet rustles as I roll over and stare at the lit-up LED numbers on the alarm clock.
01:32
Fuck.
I can’t sleep.
I haven’t been able to close my eyes without seeing those kids since I left the station after our shift.
I need . . .
I’m out of bed and scribbling a note to Mama a heartbeat later. I pull on my jacket and grab up my keys, phone, and bag before heading out into the city that never sleeps.
Is it smart to walk alone in the middle of the night? Probably not. But it feels as if the worst thing has touched me and I’m still here...
What could be worse than that?
Twenty minutes later, I slide the spare key into the lock and turn it.
The snoozing pup on the sofa doesn’t even stir.
The corner of my mouth tugs up at the sight of her sweet face.
But hers isn’t the one I need right now.
Closing the door behind me, I flick the lock and place my bag on the counter as I pass it. Sliding my shoes off, I tug my jacket from my shoulders and lay it over the stool.
I’m peeling off each article of clothing as I pad for the bedroom door.
I’m done with the back-and-forth of this thing.
Done with the pretending at work.
Done with the denial.
I stop short of the threshold to find him sprawled over the bed, only a sheet covering the bottom half of his bare body.
I tug the braid from my hair and lose the last scrap of material on my body, my panties.
I’m done for.
Period.
Rounding the enormous king bed, I lift the sheet and slide into the soft space, moving until my body meets his warmth.
The moan that slips as he moves is a rumble I feel in the depths of my core.
He rolls over, his arm caging me in as he mumbles, “Hello, beautiful.”
I close my grip over his wrist, pulling him around me closer, tighter.
