Sandy reverses the engine into the house, and we peel out of the cab, shucking our turnouts in silence. Nobody spoke on the way home, either. The distraught faces of the probies say everything. The stone facades Sandy, Heids, and me have in place hide the effects, but they’re just as real for us. We have simply learned to compartmentalize them better.
We lost a fellow firefighter today. 41’s command, Kirwan. Only three years away from retirement. And we watched the entire thing unfold. Schmiddy, of course, was captain this shift, and he was lax in about every facet of his job.
Minutes lost that would no doubt have cost Kirwan. But it will be up to internal investigation, if it comes to that. Free of my turnouts, I toss my helmet into the overhead rack.
“Fuck.”
Heids sniffs, swallowing. After five years over at 41, this will be way too close to home for her. Sandy wraps himself around her from behind, dropping his head. Her face breaks. His arms slide around her, holding tight as she buckles.
Schmiddy waltzes through the engine bay as if nothing happened. “Get a room you two, or better still, cut that shit out. It’s against the reg?—”
I have my forearm against his throat before I realize I’ve moved. His back slams against the wall, rattling the equipment in the lockers to my right.
“Watch your fucking mouth,” I growl.
In my peripheral, I see Heids straighten as Sandy releases her. She marches to where I hold Schmiddy. “Don’t waste your captaincy on this piece of shit, Milo.”
I give her a long look, silently asking if she’s sure.
“Let him go.”
I lean back, dropping my arm. Heids turns and makes to leave.
Schmiddy huffs a laugh. “Slow gets you dead. Kirby should have remembered that.”
In a flurry of movement, Heids sends a fist into Schmiddy’s face.
He tumbles sideways and then to the floor, blood running down his face from his nose. His hand grapples at the source of the flow. “You little bitch.”
Heids takes two steps until she’s all but standing over him. “I’d say you’re the little bitch right now, you waste of fucking space.”
As much as Schmiddy had it coming, and I’m only sorry I didn’t have the chance to take this asshole down, I can’t condone this behavior. Infighting won’t be tolerated.
And I’m a damn hypocrite. With a ragged breath, flicking my gaze Heids’s way, I frown.
She waves a hand. “Yeah, I know. In your office.”
“You’re out, Owens. You’re done!” Schmiddy calls from the floor before he staggers to his feet.
“Davies, Tennison. Quarters, now.”
“Yes sir.” They drop their heads and hurry up the stairs.
Fuck. Some example I am.
I round the engine and tug the back door open and hike it to the watchtower. A heartbeat later, I’m standing at the top.
Heidi’s face as the weight of losing a man who was like a father to her at 41 flashes through my mind. She had a rough start when she joined the ranks. Similar to London’s. Underestimated because she’s a woman.
And Sandy, who knew she was about to fall apart...
The tortured look on both their faces. Like her pain hurts Sandy as much as it does her.
Fuck.
Fuck.
“F... UCK!” I slam a fist into the weathered wooden box that houses the old alarm system. The rusted metal bells inside it whine with a twisted sounding clang. I send my other fist into it, breaking up the greyed wood like it’s as fragile as I feel right now.
