“No, I do not mean—” Frustration tore through her.Why?Why could she not justsayit?
“I promise, El,” he was saying.“We will be well, but I need—”
“I love you,” she interrupted.
He stilled.“I beg your pardon?”
“I love you,” she repeated.He had to know.He had toknow.“I love you with every part of me, and I love every part of you.I have for as long as I can remember, but I did not know.I thought it was friendship, and care, and even when we made love, I still did not know, but it has always been love.Ihave alwayslovedyou.I am sorry.I am so, so sorry.I made you believe I did not and I do.I do, Benedict.”She dashed at the wet on her cheek.“I love you.”
He stared at her.
She could not read his expression.Was he pleased by what she had said?Embarrassed?Disgusted?Did he hate her forever?“Do you think you might forgive me?I know I said everything wrong, and I know you may not want what I do, but I had to tell you.Lady C said that perhaps you might feel as I do, and I hope you do, however—” The breath she took trembled.“Do you think you might love me, too?”
Still he stared, his expression blank.
Oh.
Pain sliced through her.She was too late.She was too late, and it was all her fault.“I apologise, I did not mean to disconcert you.I—”
In two strides, he was before her and, throat working, blue eyes burned into hers.She stared up at him, her heart in her throat.
Pulling her to him, he captured her lips with his.
He kissed her deeply, passionately, wildly, and in his taste was hope and love and tears.They might have been hers, or perhaps they were his.His thumbs stroked her cheeks and she curled her fingers around his wrist, trying to show him through her kiss how very much she loved him.
Pulling back, he touched forehead to hers.“Say it again,” he pleaded hoarsely.
“I love you.”she whispered.
A shudder rushed through his body.“God, El.I love you.I love you so much.”
Relief and joy overwhelmed her.She pressed her face into his neck, inhaling the scent that was ever only him.His lips whispered over her temple, her cheek, his arms wrapped around her holding her tight.
Taking a breath, she said the words that terrified her into his neck.“Benedict, will you marry me?”
His arms tensed around her.
She avoided his gaze, keeping her eyes lowered to the hollow of his throat.
Gentle fingers lifted her chin.“El?”
She could not avoid his gaze.Not now.
Warm blue met her eyes, holding concern and care and love.So much love.
“I want to marry you,” she said in a rush.“I do.I want to be yours.I want to wake in the morning with you, end my days with you.I do not think I will ever be happy without you.”She lifted her chin.“I will not let fear rob me of you.”
Gaze still holding hers, he smoothed her hair from her face.“We are not your mother and father.”
“I know.”She did.She did know.
“I am not trapped and you have not been ordered.We have chosen each other, and for me there is no other choice.I cannot imagine my life without you, El.”His hand cupped her cheek.“I want us to marry because I want to be your husband.I want to be the father to your children.I want to enter a ballwithyou, and leave a ball with you, and return to a home that is ours.”His gaze lit with intent.“I want to marry you because I love you with everything I am.”
The fear still lingered.It would always be there, but her love for him was stronger.“You did not answer my question.”
His brow raised.“What question?”
Her cheeks hurt from her smile.“Will you marry me?”
