Such a sightshould have made her laugh, or at least smile. She should have madea teasing remark at his almost-curse, or a ribald one, just to makehim blush further. Instead, she tightened her hands in her lap. “Soyou have not spoken with him of your arrangements?”
He scowled.“Don’t say it like that.”
“Itis how you described it.”
“Bethat as it may, do not say it such.” Exhaling, he sat on the sideof her bed and raked a hand through his disordered hair. “I amsorry. I did not think. It might be we will have to wait a day orso before I can speak with him.”
She did notrespond.
He frowned.“Sera?”
“Yes, of course. We will wait.”
“Sera.” He tipped her chin up with his thumb. “What iswrong?”
She slid hergaze past him. “Nothing.”
“Youcannot say such. Clearly, something is wrong.”
“Itis of little matter.”
“Itis of great matter. To me. Tell me.”
“Iam merely adjusting. My life has changed dramatically fromyesterday to today. Yesterday, I did not have a fiancé and now, itappears I do. I am, as I said, adjusting.”
He frowned. “Doyou not want to marry me?”
She smiledbitterly. “Above all things, I want you. I want to be with you. Iam reconciling myself to love you enough for both ofus.”
He started, hisexpression dumbfounded. “What?”
She didn’t letherself look at him. “I will get over it, Stephen. Do not worry.Eventually, I shall be content. I am certain I can apply myself toit. Other women have, and I will not have them be better than I. Iwill be content with what you give me. I am determined it will beso.”
“What?” he repeated.
Annoyanceswirled. “Stephen, I have explained this is difficult for me. Iunderstand my obligations. I understand you have sought permissionfrom your brother and, though he is unavailable at present, youwill be granted it. I will say my vows when required. I will be thebest wife I can be. If it takes me a little time to reconcilemyself to a marriage of obligation, duty, and I would hope a littleaffection , I beg you allow me that time.”
“What do you mean, I don’t love you?” he demanded.
She paused. “Youhave made no mention of it.”
Staring at her,he made a choked sound and, rising from the bed, started topace.
She watched himas he strode back and forth, back and forth.
Finally, hestilled. Shaking his head, he said almost to himself, “I’vebollocksed this up.”
Pain searedthrough her. Oh, this was worse. This was so much worse. “You don’twant to marry me at all?” she asked in a small voice.
He lookedhorrified. “No. Sera, of course not, I—” Sitting beside her oncemore, he took a breath. “I am not good at expressing myemotions.”
A tiny thread ofhope wound about her. “I have noticed that.”
He gave her asmall smile. “After last night, it became obvious we would need towed.”
Hope died.“Oh.”
“No,I...again, I explain it badly.” He exhaled in frustration. “I wantto marry you because of what we did. And I want to marry youbecause I cannot imagine being happy without being your husband.”He took a deep breath. “I want to marry you because I love you,” hesaid in a rush.
