“There is every need. I...I did not behave well.” Sheshuddered through a breath. “I did not know you felt so stronglyfor your brother, but that is no excuse. I should not havesuggested such a thing and I promise you, I am trying to be better.I know I can be cruel and unkind. I would never again put you insuch a position, and I ask for your forgiveness that I everdid.”
He stared ather. She regarded him back, hands linked, her grey eyespleading.
Christ, what didhe say to that? How could he tell her he had forgiven her long ago?How could he tell her he missed her, he wanted her? How could hetell her all that, and not fall apart? Because if he told her that,if he told her he’d forgiven her, she would see...she would seethat while he was glad Maxim had returned... he resented thatHarbor hadn’t.
“Iwould have come to you sooner, but I...I tried, but I could not,Roxegate was not accepting guests because of...yourbrother.”
He hardenedhimself, pushing aside the emotion as he’d done since his brother’sreturn. “My brother... What?”
Clearlyperplexed, she drew her brows. “Your brother,he...returned.”
Fingers digginginto his biceps, he queried, “And why did that stopyou?”
“Because...Stephen, you must know I wanted to come, but I—”She fell silent.
“You...” he prompted. She set her jaw, and so he continued.“It has not stopped you from attending a wedding and house partywhen you know you are not welcome. It did not stop you frompursuing an audience with me which I clearly did not desire. Whywould a little thing like my dead brother’s return stopyou?”
The creasebetween her brows deepened. “Stephen, is all well withyou?”
His eyes burned,and he swallowed against the lump in his throat. “I am fine,” hebit off.
She tilted herhead. “You do not seem fine.”
“Well, I am.”
Stepping closer,she lifted her hand. He flinched away before she could touchhim.
“Stephen...”
Shaking hishead, he turned his back on her and gazed sightlessly out thewindow.
He heard hermake a sound of frustration. “Stephen, you cannot do this to me.You cannot ignore me, and you certainly can’t ignore what you feel.You can turn your back on me as much as you like, but I shan’t goaway. I will not leave you. I will never leave you.”
“What do you know of staying, when both your parents abandonedyou?”
She drew in asharp breath.
He closed hiseyes. He shouldn’t have said that. He didn’t mean it, and he’d hurther. Christ, he never wanted to hurt her, but...he... hecouldn’t...
“That was unfair,” she said quietly.
His lips twistedinto a mockery of a smile. Christ. Didn’t he know it.
“Youcan’t get rid of me, no matter what you say. You see, I knowsomething of using anger and hurt as a weapon.”
She sounded sad,and a little lost. He clenched his teeth.
Arms creptaround him, and he felt her lay her cheek on his shoulder, herfront against his back. “It must have been hard.”
His jaw ached.Her hands were warm on his chest.
“When he came back. It must have been devastating.”
He took arasping breath, and when he covered her hands with his, they shook.Bowing his head, he said hoarsely, “He came back, Sera. He cameback and he wasn’t dead and I...I didn’t know how tofeel.”
She said nothingfurther, but her arms tightened around him.
His cheeks werewet. “Because if he came back...If Maxim came back, then whycouldn’t Harbor?” Emotion, so long suppressed, exploded. “And whatdid that make me, Sera? Why wasn’t I ecstatic my brother hadreturned, when all I could think of was Harbor. Harbor was stilldead. He would never return and it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair wewere given this miracle and not another, and how could I think thisabout my brother? How could I be resentful?How?”
