“Ah, Christ,”she heard Jake mutter. A moment later, strong arms surrounded her,pulling her into a warm, hard chest. The scream built and built andshe burrowed into him, her chest on fire, her skin cold, and shewanted his warmth, his strength, wanting to hide in himforever.
“Darlin’,” hemurmured, and the scream broke free. Red, so much red, and in themiddle of it her parents. Her sisters and brothers. They were gone.They weregone.
Great sobs racked her andhe held her through them, his deep voice soft andcrooning.
“They’redead, Jake,” she managed.
“Iknow.”
“He killedthem.”
“Iknow.”
“They’regone. They’re gone, they’re gone, they’re gone.” Burrowing intohim, she cried. She cried for her family. She cried for her lostchildhood. She cried for the revenge that drove her, the consumingneed that was gone and now she didn’t know what todo.
Eventually, there were nomore tears. Eyes hot and skin dry, drawn and rung out, exhaustiontook the place of emotion. She didn’t know how long she and Jakestayed there, his arms tight about her, but it couldn’t lastforever. Arms loosening, he shifted his weight and she closed hereyes, digging her fingers into his forearm. No. She wasn’t ready.Don’t move. Don’t leave.
But he did. He withdrew,and she had to let him, had to let him sit beside her, his arms onhis updrawn knees.
Wiping at her cheeks, sheaverted her face, not knowing what to say. She could feel his gazeupon her, could feel the cautious shape of it. Silence stretchedbetween them, tense with things unsaid.
“It’s a thingyou’ve been wanting a long while. Must be a strange feeling nowit’s done,” he finally said.
Folding her hands in herlap, she nodded.
“It was good.Your plan.”
The plan he’d told herwas foolish. The one she’d kept from him. The one where anger hadmade her utter false words. “I’m sorry I said those things. Aboutyou being only a hired man and your opinion unworthy. I didn’t meanthem.”
He was silent a moment.“Didn’t you?”
She shook her headviolently. “I didn’t— I was—” She closed her eyes, swallowed. “Iapologise.”
He regarded her a longwhile and she sat under his contemplation, not knowing what else tosay. “I apologise, also,” he said. “I was afeared for you and spokewords too harsh.”
Unable to speak past thelump in her throat, she nodded.
Putting his hand to thefloor to brace himself, he made to get to his feet. “I’ll leave youto your contemplation.”
Panic filled her. He wasgoing to leave. He was going to walk out her door and she wouldnever see him again. She would never— “I don’t want you togo.”
Half-risen, he paused anddark eyes searched her.
“I don’t wantyou to go,” she repeated, her voice strengthening. “Jake, I don’twant you to go.”
“What do youwant me to do, darlin’?” he said softly.
What did she want fromhim? Of a sudden, she knew. She had always known. “I want you tostay with me. I want you to be with me.” She took a breath. “I wantyou to come to Sacramento with me.”
Dark eyes gave nothingaway. “As your hired gun?”
“No.” Pulseracing, she lifted her chin. “As mine.”
“Yours.”Thumb rubbing his lip, he contemplated her. She waited, anxiety andagony swirling inside her.
Slowly, that wicked smilehe saved just for her spread across his face. “Well now, darlin’, Idon’t know as it is I can be your fancy man.”
A fierce blush lit hercheeks even as she scowled, as her stomach churned. What did thatmean? Did he want to come? Did he not? Did he—
