I just stare at him vacantly, a mixed bag of emotions.
“I’m gonna go out for a bit.” He pulls up his pants and buttons them cavalierly, like we didn’t just steam up the bathroom with hot, heathenness sex. “Meeting a few of the guys. Hang out here. Order some room service if you're hungry. Keep the tie on and wear the shoes.” He’s referring to my stilettos from lunch. “Rounds two, three, and four when I get back.” He kisses me chastely on the cheek. Then he leaves. Business as usual.
I just stand there in the middle of the bathroom, still wearing the blue herringbone tie, and still soaking wet.
In the past, I wouldn't mind a man leaving in the manner Ronan did. I’d much prefer it, actually. But now, I'm left with an empty hole. A loneliness. An isolation. A solitude. Before, with men, the only thing I felt was sexual pleasure. But Declan fucking broke me. He made me feel, and now I’m screwed. Because I want that warm fulfillment back. I want what he gave me back. But I know I can’t have it.
Because he’s gone.
He’s the only one whom I trust.
The only one I trusted enough to accept love.
I toss Ronan’s tie in the sink and wrap myself in the luxurious hotel robe hanging in the closet. Might as well take advantage of my alone time. I order some peppermint tea and biscuits from room service, and then crawl into bed. I debate on calling March, but decide against it. I just need some mental peace and physical separation. The days seem to be getting longer and harder. The nights more isolating and colder. I miss having to worry about nothing but myself.
I close my eyes and try not to picture Declan, but it’s difficult. It took me months and months to get over him last time. I have no idea how I’m going to do it this time. I just keep reminding myself Aisling is what’s important. It’s Aisling I’m doing this for.
There’s a knock at the door. “Room service.”
Perfect timing. My somersaulting stomach is ready for something calming.
I schlep off the bed to the door, fatigued from all the exciting events of the afternoon. I open it without looking through the peephole first.
Mistake.
On the other side is a terribly angry Declan dressed as a bellboy and the barrel of a gun pointed right at my head.
Shit.
I put my hands up and back away as he rolls the cart into the room.
My heart pounds wildly as he kicks the door closed, never taking his murderous green eyes off me.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” My question is a mix of shock, anger, and demand.
“You fucking lied to me.” He takes a dangerous step closer in my direction. “You betrayed me.” He stalks me. “You took my fucking daughter from me.” He places the gun under my chin and forces my head to tilt back. “I wanted to fucking kill you. I wanted to fucking murder you in the most horrific way possible.” He inches his face closer to mine. “Hang your naked, bloody, traitorous body from a city flagpole for everyone to see. But now?” He whispers against my lips. “I just want to kiss you.”
And he does. He kisses me like a starved man tasting sugar for the first time. And I kiss him back, like an abused woman accepting protection from a suffering soldier. Locking my arms around his neck, I’m inundated with all the want, love and desire a normal woman wishes for. Imprisoned by strong lips and a sexually skilled tongue, I’m engulfed by a powerful man who knows exactly how to deliver me as much as he knows exactly how to destroy me.
Before being completely swept away, I begrudgingly break the kiss. “What the fuck are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at a safe house in Vermont.”I hit him in the chest.
“I couldn't go. I had to see you.”
“That was not part of the plan,” I scold him.
“Yeah, the plan you conveniently left me out of.” There is a twinge of sourness in his tone.
“Ronan had to believe I betrayed you. He never would have bought it if you knew.”
“Well, I really did want to kill you. That’s for sure.”
“You convinced us all of that.” His performance was Oscar-worthy. “But you can’t be here. You have to lay low. Go to Vermont. Let me take care of it.”
“I don’t like you with him. Alone with him.” Declan peers down at what I'm wearing, which is practically nothing. The robe has slipped open, exposing my nakedness underneath.
“This isn’t a time to play jealous boyfriend. I’ll do what I have to do to get close enough to kill him.”
“Looks like you're not wasting any time either.” He lifts my hand and inspects the massive rock. “Engaged already?”
