I groan in frustration. “I don’t know what the fuck that was.” My insides are turned upside down and inside out. I hate that he makes me feel. I hate that my emotions — and my body — respond to him in exasperating ways. But what I hate most of all is that I want him with all the ferocity that he wants me. “Let’s go win some money and get stupid drunk.”
Kira locks her arm around mine. “I can think of worse ways to spend my time.”
We march off purposely in the direction of the blackjack tables.
* * *
We sitdown at the table where my new friend Ned is dealing.
“Back again?” He smiles. “And you brought a friend.”
“I just missed you so much,” I tease the older, bald man who reminds me of Mr. Smee fromPeter Pan.
“Well, it’s nice to be missed,” he jokes back.
“How much should we cash in?” Kira digs around her vintage-looking square purse, circa 1985.
“We can start with two hundred until you feel more comfortable with the game?” I suggest.
“Two hundred, it is.” Kira tosses out two bills onto the felt table.
I do the same, and Ned trades the paper for chips.
“Any tips?” Kira asks as Ned deals. We are the only ones at the table, so this is a perfect teaching opportunity.
“Stay on sixteen, split a pair, and always pay attention to the cards.” I think I lost her on that last tidbit, but I can’t really say. “Keep track of how many face cards come out of the shoot per deck.”
Ned deals our first hand, and we are off to the races. Blackjack for both of us, and Ned busts both times.
“Beginner’s luck.” Kira gets excited.
“Let’s see if we can keep it going.”
Ned deal again. Eighteen for Kira, sixteen for me. I know I told Kira to stay, but I’m a seasoned player. I hit. With all the high cards coming out, I take a chance. It pays off. I stay at twenty with a four of hearts.
Ned pulls a six of diamonds, a nine of clubs, and six of spades. It’s a push for me, but Kira loses.
“Damn,” she pouts.
“Ah, the glamour of gambling.” Fun when you’re winning, not so fun when you’re losing. Ned nods his head in agreement. He knows what I’m getting at. As he deals, I wonder about Damon and Ky and the rest of their posse hitting the tables tonight. I wonder if they’re up or down. If he’s any closer to hitting his mark now that he has reinforcements.
“After this is all over, you’re going to be mine.”His words keep repeating like a broken record in my head. I have never wanted to run away from someone as much as I wanted to run toward them. Damon is the only person who can tie me in so many knots.
“Yes!” Kira celebrates her win with an ace of hearts and a king of diamonds.
“Blackjack, nice.” I smile.
“I had a good teacher.” She waves debonairly.
Our quiet table is suddenly invaded by a group of women all dressed in white and adorned with penis paraphernalia. The girl who sits down next to me is a tall brunette with heavy eye makeup and a sash that reads “Bachelorette.”
She throws in a five-hundred-dollar bill, and then proceeds to bet it all. “I want blackjack, baby,” she exclaims. Kira and I eye each other. This table just got interesting.
Ned deals, and the bachelorette ends up with a pair of aces.
“Oh, she splits them, right?” Kira asks me.
“She should,” I confirm
