“I can only hope.”
I roll my eyes, faithless man. “I need to grab my purse before we leave. Do you need to say good-bye to Jett?”
“Nah.” Kayne starts walking in the direction London and I bombarded him from. “London is with him. I’ll check in on him later.”
I direct Kayne into the small space I spent most of the morning in. He sets me on the ground and I grab my bag.
“Wait.” I stop him as he takes my hand to leave. “I didn’t exactly tell you I was pregnant the way I wanted to. Or hoped to. Can we sit for a second?”
“Sure.” Kayne looks confused but takes a seat on the bed anyway. I yank the curtain closed for privacy then crawl onto the mattress next to him. I pull out my phone and hand it to him.
“Am I supposed to call the baby?” he asks, even more perplexed.
“No.” I laugh as I swipe the screen and hit an app. “Just press play.”
He does, and a second later, that quickly pounding underwater sound pulsates through the air.
His eyebrows crease before understanding hits.
“Is that . . . ?” He brings the phone closer to his ear.
“The baby’s heartbeat. I wanted you to hear it when I told you.”
Kayne just sits there spellbound, listening to the rhythmicsound. “It’s the most amazing thing I have ever heard.” His voice is breathy and his eyes are glassy.
I snuggle up against him. “I think so, too.”
KAYNE STARES SILENTLY OUT THEliving room window.
That’s his position of choice these days. Leaning against the glass, ominously quiet, lost in his own head.
I’m six months today; my belly has finally popped and I have given up trying to squeeze into any of my pre-pregnancy pants. Maternity it is from here on out. I wish not fitting into my clothes was my biggest problem. Kayne had been over the moon about being a father up until about a month ago; when we went for my twenty-week ultrasound and found out we were having a boy. When, for the first time, we were able to see our baby’s little feet and hands and face in a 3D picture. Everything changed after that. He retreated into himself. I know my husband, and beneath that cocky,I’ll break you in halfexterior is a high-strung, excitable man who needs to exercise restraint when it comes to his emotions. They can become a Molotov cocktail if he’s not careful. Believe me, I know; I’ve been in the direct line of fire when he flies out of control.
Kayne walks a fine line every day, and lately that line seems to be getting narrower and narrower. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know what he’s thinking about.Her,his mother, his childhood, and all the shitty things that happened to him while growing up. I’m beginning to worry that starting a family is going to have a negative effect on him. That instead of completing us, it’s going to tear us apart. I know I had reservations in the beginning, and I know I’ll always worry, but what really scares me is the thought of raising this child alone.
“Hey.” I speak to Kayne’s back.
“What’s up, kitten?” His reply is flat.
“I think we need to talk.”
“Oh yeah, ‘bout what?”
“What’s bothering you.”
“Nothing is bothering me,” he fires back.
“We both know that’s not true.”
“I’m fine, Ellie.”
“No, you’re not. You barely sleep, you barely eat, and you haven’t touched me in almost a month.”
“Is that what this is about? You’re horny?”
“No. That’s not what this is about. It’s about you and your issues.”
“I have issues?”
