“Damn,” Reese blurts, gut wrenched.
“By the time an ambulance got there, it was too late. I just held her while she died in my arms.” I break down, the tears pouring out of my eyes and falling into my lap. “Everything changed that night.Ichanged.” I retreat into myself, wanting to disappear. “I distanced myself from everyone and everything. Swore off the entire scene. It hurt too much to even look at a motorcycle, let alone ride one. So after a lot of counseling to help cope, I threw myself into school. I decided to become a nurse, so I would never feel that helpless again.” I stare off into space desolately.
“Hey.” Dev pulls me out of my own head, cupping my face with both hands. “Is that who the tattoo is for?”
“Yes. B, Becca, butterfly.”
Dev looks me over compassionately. “I’m sorry, Kayla.”
“Me too.” I gaze at him vacantly. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I’m sorry I pushed you away. I’m sorry I was scared to give you a chance.”
Dev smiles, making me realize my words carry more meaning than I’m even aware of.
“You’re forgiven.” He presses his lips to mine. “And that story explains a hell of a lot.”
“My complete hypocrisy?”
“No, your reluctance.” Dev chuckles. “You had me worried for a while. You’re the first woman who made me question my game.”
“Not mine.” Reese smiles cheekily. “I knew I’d bone you eventually.” A celebrity ego is a dangerous thing. “You know what else I think?” Reese cozies up to me.
I shake my head.
“That everything happens for a reason. It’s tragic that your friend died. I’ve walked a mile in your shoes. Trust me. Several times. I know what it feels like. But if it never happened, I may not be standing here right now. And I’m sure there are a lot of other people who can say the same.”
“You turned a tragedy into something positive. And you know what your reward is?”
“I can’t begin to imagine.”
“Us.” Reese pops his eyebrows. He’s such a goof.
“I’ll never feel rewarded, but I’ll gladly take both of you.” A small bud of happiness blooms in the darkness of my soul. I marvel at how it only took one night for these two men to become my entire world.
“Well, you definitely have us. The question is, what are you going to do with us now?” Reese’s eyes flicker with sinful intent.
I hand myself over willingly. “Whatever you want me to do.”
18
Reese
For the first time in what feels like forever, I don’t know what to do with myself. I have no schedule, no engagements, and no obligations. My lifestyle has gone from Superman to Clark Kent. Unless I’m in bed with Kayla. Then I’m definitely Superman. It’s been two weeks since Kayla, Dev, and I consummated our relationship. It’s not exactly traditional, but it’s working for us. There are some obstacles, I’ll admit. Like keeping what happens between us behind closed doors. The media would have a field day if they found out a pro-racer was involved in a polyamorous, triad, open—whatever the fuck it is we have going on—relationship. With my twin brother, no less. I’m not sure how my sponsors would feel about it, either. There’s a public persona clause in my contract stating I will uphold the brand with maturity, dignity, and respect. Even though I’m -open-minded about my situation, I’m unsure what their views are, and the rest of the world’s for that matter. Luckily, Kayla and Dev understand and have agreed to keep our relationship under wraps.
So, now that I’m on hiatus, I need to find something to do. Dev and Kayla have their lives here and their jobs. All I have is loads of time. Which is why I’m signing on the dotted line. I already did some damage at the Ford dealership, picking up a brand new F150. I drove it right off the lot. Now, I’m procuring two brand spankin’ new dirt bikes. They’re being loaded onto the bed as we speak. I need to stay on top of my game during the winter, and the best way to do that, believe it or not, is to tear up some trails. And there are sick ones all over this area. Why buy two, though? I need someone to spank while I ride. Dev is the perfect person. He’s an expert on cement, but get him on some earth, and he’s reduced to a novice. It’s going to be fun. I contemplated buying a four-wheeler for Kayla, but I’m not sure how she’d react. She’s testy about the whole riding thing, but I’m hoping she’ll come around.
Damn, what I wouldn’t give to see that woman ride a bike.
19
Dev
Ilisten to Kayla babble on about dinner. She’s making something called smothered chicken. I never expected her to be so domestic. It’s been two weeks since the start of our unconventional relationship and she’s cooked for Reese and me almost every night.
I’ll admit, I was skeptical of the whole idea at first, but being with Kayla every single day—and night—has made me happier than I’ve ever been.
That’s not to say there aren’t obstacles. The rumor mill has already started. People see us show up and leave work together. They also see our incessant flirting. We haven’t copped to anything yet, but sooner or later our secret is going to come out, and I don’t know where that will leave Reese when it does. He needs protection in more ways than one. Needs the heat to stay off his personal life. He has too much at stake. His livelihood is literally on the line. I know his feelings for Kayla are as genuine as mine. The only difference with him, he has another love he’s been committed to his whole life. I wonder how long Kayla is going to measure up. I also wonder how long the novelty of a forbidden romance is going to keep his attention before the lure of the track, the spotlight, and the need for speed draws him away from us. The fact he took a break from racing at all speaks volumes, but Reese isn’t as impulsive as he may seem. He thinks out every detail without you even realizing it. Whatever his endgame, I know one thing for sure. I’ll be the one holding Kayla when the ground bottoms out. I’ll be the one to comfort her. I’ll be the one she chooses.
“What is that?” Kayla and I stare at the intimidating black pickup parked in my driveway.
