“That’s right, fight me, sweetheart. Say no.” The sick, twisted bastard wants to hear me beg. “Say no.” He breaches the entrance, and I screamnonot because he ordered me to, but because I really don’t want this.
“Scream no.” He slides in deeper, and I cry in agony. It hurts so much. More than anything has ever hurt before.
“Scream no.” He pulls on the belt, contorting my body, lifting my chest off the hood as he traps my tiny hips against the car.
“No! No! No!” I feebly cry as every minuscule inch of him invades the virgin part of me. Half way through he stops as I gasp for air. My face stained with an unstoppable stream of freezing tears. I’m not sure, but I’m either going into shock or going numb from frostbite. Regardless of which, I’m fading away, and I’m completely okay with that. Anything that will remove me from this nightmare I’ll gladly welcome.
“Do you think you can escape me?” he asks as if he knows my head is slipping into the clouds. I have no strength to answer, nor do I want to. “Scream no.”
“NO!” I scream at the top of my lungs as my body is ripped right in two.
The world is hazy as it passes by in the window. I thought I died, and when I realized I hadn’t, I wished that I did. With all the things I’ve been through in my life, I’ve never once wished for death until tonight. The man in the driver’s seat is a devil with a badge and a free pass to terrorize the city.
I’m his latest victim. Me, a fourteen-year-old girl, living on the streets. A girl who has nothing. A girl whoisnothing. The sky begins to turn pink over the high-rises as morning breaks. He raped me all night. In every which way. Everything hurts. My entire fucking body. I can barely move without a reminder. He said he liked to break slutty little bitches like me. And he did just that. He broke me.
The car stops in front of a brick building, and it takes me a second to realize where we are.
“You’re taking me in?” I kick the back of his seat as I see dozens of police cars and officers coming to and fro’. “You said if I gave you what you want, you’d give me what I want! And I want to get the hell away from you!” I continue to kick as a burst of unwelcome emotion erupts inside me. Up until this second I was completely numb, suppressing the feelings of blame and disgust. I don’t know what I thought he was going to do with me when it was all over, but show up at a police station was the furthest thing from my mind.
“Settle down back there,” he barks at me.
“Never!” I screech. “I’m going to tell everyone! I’m going to tell everyone how you raped me!”
“Hey!” The cop spins around in his seat and grabs me. “You’re not going to say shit. You’re going to keep that slutty little mouth of yours shut—”
“Or what?” I challenge.
His facial expression turns to stone and the look in his eyes deadly. “Listen to me,little lady.” My stomach turns when he uses my pet name. “I can make your time in juvie pleasant or not so pleasant,” he threatens. “You’ve experienced what I’m capable of. It’s your choice.”
I immediately shut my mouth.
“You’re not a dumb blonde after all.”
I spit at him in response, and he laughs. “I definitely enjoyed that fire last night. I’ll be jerking off to the memory of you for a long time.” He runs his tongue over his teeth, making his nasty mustache dance.
“You’re disgusting,” I seethe.
“You love it,” he mocks.
“You’re out of your mind.”
“Maybe.” He lets go of me and gets out of the car, then drags me out of the back seat. I’ve been handcuffed the whole time. My wrists feel like someone tried to saw them off from the metal constantly digging into my skin.
My fucking fate is sealed as I’m placed in a jail cell by myself. By law, juveniles have to be separated from general population, which means I’ll be all by my lonesome until a social worker or my probation officer shows up. And God knows how long that will be. I tuck myself into a ball on the hard, wooden bench and cry silent tears. I want to disappear. Just shrink away until the cracks in the floor become a landmine of black holes.
I have reached the lowest point in my short life. Facing the rest of my teenage years behind bars in an environment worse than war. I cry harder, hopelessness dragging me under.
The reality of it all is that I’m nothing more than a dirty, damaged, neglected statistic about to get swallowed up by the system. A reality I’ve been running from for three years—that I have absolutely no purpose and nothing to live for.
The slide of the steel door screeches as it opens. I don’t look up to see who’s entering my cell. I don’t really care. At this point, I don’t care about anything.
“Rough night?” A man’s voice beckons me to look up.
“The worst ev—” The words die on my lips as I gaze into a pair of steely green eyes. My heart drops like a two-ton boulder.
“How didyouget in here?”
“I have my ways.”Hesaunters toward me dressed in black dress pants and a fitted black turtleneck.
