Kayne stares at me quizzically. “I don’t understand.”
“What’s to understand? Being with you changed me. Or awoke something in me.” I try to rationalize.
“You like it when I dominate you?”
I shrug demurely. “Apparently. I like it when you’re rough.”
Kayne palms my sore ass, and I hiss. “You like getting punished?”
I nod silently.
“You like being reminded who you belong to?” He grins like the Cheshire cat.
“Yes. To a point.” I wince as he rubs.
“What happened to you hating being conditioned?”
I touch my chin to my shoulder flirtatiously. “I guess it’s not so bad when it’s my choice.”
“Ellie.” Kayne breathes my name like I’m a deity he worships, burying his face into my neck. “You are so mine.”
Agreed.
I RUB MY TEMPLES ASI stare out over the water. My head feels like it’s going to explode.
I unleashed myself last night. I let the beast out of its cage and handed over control. To say I didn’t like it would be lying. I loved it, every second of it. From the moment I wrapped that belt around Ellie’s neck, I was a goner. I keep playing it over and over, the way she ran from me, the way she fought me, the tears she shed, the reddening of her smooth white ass and the plush feel of her soaking wet pussy. All reason and rationale flew out the window as soon as she knelt at my feet. She was so turned on. It was more than I could have ever asked for—to have my kitten back for just one night—but it is also the one thing that feeds my fear. It’s a serpent-like creature that burrows itself into the recesses of my subconscious. A gnawing worry that makes me regret last night ever happened. Because, in that dark black cavity, my one true terror lives—that Ellie is going to wake up and realize it was all a mistake. That she’s going to wash her hands of whatever it is we have and leave. I keep telling myself she isn’t my mother, but the nagging little voice in the background keeps reminding me that she left me once, she could do it again.
The thought nearly demolishes me. She really is the one person who can destroy me. She may kneel at my feet, but she holds all the power. I’m the slave. I always have been. I stare out into the blue-green abyss trying to picture my life without Ellie. It’s nearly impossible. I wasn’t living before her, and I could never live after her. My chest feels like it’s going to cave in. Why do I do this to myself? I let the worry and anxiety win. “I’m not going anywhere.”I replay her words over and over trying to reassure myself.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
She’s not going anywhere.
I suddenly feel a nudge against my leg, and it yanks me away from my worrisome thoughts. When I look down, I nearly fall back in my chair because Ellie is kneeling on the ground, wearing nothing but a collar and one of my white Ginny-tees.
“ELLIE, WHAT-WHAT ARE YOUdoing?” I can barely speak.
She looks up at me with just her eyes, the green extra vibrant from the bright island sun.
“I wasn’t snooping, I swear.” She crawls up my legs to sit on my lap. “I wanted to wear one of your shirts, and I accidentally kicked over your suitcase. When it fell open, the tag caught my eye,” she says coiling into herself, a little insecure and a whole lot sexy.
“I didn’t bring it with any expectations,” I blurt out. “It just made me feel close to you.” I run my finger over the leather. It’s not exactly the same collar she wore when she was with me at Mansion—that one was snapped in two—but this one is close. Thick black leather with large rhinestones adjacent to three D-rings and a light pink satin interior. Just feminine enough with a bit of bondage edge.
“It makes me feel close to you, too.”
“You don’t have to wear it.” Although, now that she has it on, I never want her to take it off.
“I want to wear it.”
“Why?”
She shrugs shyly. “Do you really have to ask?”
I search Ellie’s face for any kind of reluctance or inkling of uncertainty. But there’s none, only sincere eyes and a sultry expression.
“Say it.”Say the words I have been dying to hear.
