“Room service,” Kayne mutters.
“I’ll get it.” I kiss him firmly before hurrying out of the pool. I grab a towel to wrap around me, and let the young man in, directing him to set the food on the table outside on the deck. I follow him through the bungalow, and when we get outside, Kayne is already out of the pool and drying off. His mannerisms are stiff and his face is blank.
The young, tan waiter quickly sets up our plates and leaves unobtrusively. Kayne and I both stare down at the food, but I don’t think either of us is hungry at the moment.
“I’m going to go shower,” he tells me withdrawn, walking toward the sliding doors leading to our bedroom. I grab his wrist as he passes by me. “We can take one together later if you want.” I look up at him naked of all reservations. This man’s emotional deprivation runs deeper than I could have ever imagined.
“Of course, I want that.” His voice is gruff. “Do you still want it, that’s the question?”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because I was just acting like the biggest pussy on the face of the Earth.”
He’s hiding again.
“No, you weren’t. You were acting human, and that’s the sexiest thing on the face of the Earth.” I cuddle up to him, encouraging him to take me in his arms.
“You can hurt me, Ellie,” he says, stripped bare.
“I know, but that’s the last thing I want to do.”
“I hope so,” he breathes.
“Just keep trusting me, the way I’ve learned to trust you.”
ELLIE IS HOLDING ONTO MYwrist with a death grip telling me to trust her. What she doesn’t realize is that I do. Completely, wholeheartedly. I’m all in—one-hundred-percent. I’m just not sure if she is. Hearing her tell me that she trusts me gives me faith in whatever it is we have, but she hasn’t even hinted to me about how she really feels. It makes me wonder if she can ever really love me. If she can let go of who I was in the past and accept me for who I am now. Whomever that may be. My biggest fear is that Ellie will wake up one day and realize I’m not what she wants, that I’m too intense or controlling or broken to truly love. I know it’s only been a week, but Ellie has become an unshakable part of me, my nucleus.
I can only hope that she feels it, the truth of my love, and someday gives me the truth of hers in return.
I KNOCK SOFTLY ON JETT’Sdoor.
I know he’s expecting me.
The door creaks open exposing a dim light and a shirtless Jett.
“Evening,” he says flippantly.
“Hey.”
“You know, this ritual is starting to bug London. She thinks there’s something going on with us, and she’s jealous she can’t join in.”
“I highly doubt talking about all my jumbled feelings is going to excite her.”
“Sexually, no. But she likes you, Ellie. She wants things to work out with you and Kayne. I do, too. I didn’t realize how much I missed having you around. I even miss dressing you up.” He grins.
“And by dressing me up, you mean seeing me naked.”
“Exactly.” He shoots a finger and winks.
I roll my eyes.
“So? What are we chatting about tonight?” He walks outside, and we take our usual seat on the ledge of the wooden walkway right outside his bungalow.
I shrug as I gaze up at the sky. It’s the middle of the night and the stars look like a blanket woven together by streaks of silver clouds.
“We went skydiving today.”
“I heard. Twice. Someone is a closet adrenaline junkie.” I don’t think Jett realizes how true that statement is. I bite my lip nervously. “Ellie? Can I be frank?”
