“If I were to hazard a guess, it’s not a book that has you distracted. It’s him. Isn’t it?”
“He’s not courting me,” Emily told them both firmly. “He made that much abundantly clear.”
“But you’d like him to,” Harriet murmured. “Am I right?”
“I…” Emily slumped. “What good doesthatdo when he doesn’t want the same?”
“You say he brought you flowers?” When Emily nodded in response to Ada’s question, she asked, “What kind?”
“It was an original bouquet. Very colorful.”
“So he took time putting some thought into it.”
“I suppose. But only because I was clear about not wanting roses.” She shook her head. “He and I have always been at odds. We’ve a history of disastrous encounters with each other. To be honest, I didn’t think I’d ever enjoy spending time with him at all.”
“But you do,” Harriet said with a soft smile.
Emily nodded. “I must confess, I miss him when we’re apart. Unfortunately, our last meeting didn’t go well. He made no indication that he’d want to see me again when he left, so it’s fairly obvious to me that he does not feel the same as I do.”
“I think you’re mistaken,” Harriet said. When Emily gave her a dubious look, she explained, “He’s a duke, Emily. He’s aware of social rules and etiquette. If he wrote you letters, brought you flowers, walked with you in the parkandtook you to a fair while meeting you for tea in between, the man most assuredly has an interest in more than friendship with you.”
“It was for Peter’s benefit,” Emily told them. “He’s the reason Stratton got in touch with me in the first place.”
“Don’t be daft, Emily. Had that been the case there would not have been flowers. He’d have sent a maid with the boy for all those excursions, but he didn’t, did he?” When Emily shook her head, Harriet said, “Peter wants to spend time with Heidi, and that gave Stratton the chance to spend time with you.”
“I…” Emily blinked. Could that be true?
“He’s more reserved than Anthony and Brody,” Ada told Emily. “I doubt he’d reveal his affection for you unless he was certain of your affection for him.”
The conversation gave Emily much to consider once her friends left. She took care not to let herself get too excited in case they were wrong. Instead, she re-read the letters he’d sent her and thought back on their interactions, all while searching for clues. Eventually, she gave up in favor of reading, no wiser now than she’d been that morning. If anything, she was much more confused.
And then the letter from Seaton Hall arrived the next morning, announcing an unexpected decline in her grandmother’s health.
“Have the carriage readied,” Papa told Larrow. “We’ll depart as soon as we’ve finished breaking our fast.”
“Will you join us?” Mama asked Emily. Her voice cracked just enough to reveal what a terrible blow this was to her. She and her mother had always been close. With the viscountess not yet older than five and sixty, the idea she might soon die had come as a shock.
“Of course,” Emily promised. She loved Grandmama dearly and couldn’t imagine not saying goodbye. “I’ll go and ready myself.”
They set off within the hour and made good time with the team of six horses Papa had requested. The journey took little more than an hour before the estate where Mama had grown up came into view. Emily had last visited over the summer, during which Grandmama had appeared to be in excellent health. She’d served them lemonade on the terrace and had even engaged in a game of pall mall with Emily and her cousins. She’d also come to London once a month since then so she could participate in the book club Emily ran.
Sadly, the woman Emily found when Grandpapa showed them all to her Grandmama’s chamber, bore no resemblance to the energetic woman Emily had known. In her place was someone so frail she didn’t appear to have the strength required to last the night.
It was the most heartbreaking thing Emily had ever witnessed.
Mama choked back a sob as she went to her mother’s bedside. She perched there on the edge of the mattress and clasped her slim hand.
Apparently, a fit of some sort had occurred the previous evening. As a result, Grandmama could no longer move the left side of her body. Her speech was unclear, and the attending physicians were not optimistic. They claimed it had put a terrible strain on her heart.
“She’d like to speak with you,” Mama told Emily once she was finished.
Emily swallowed and approached the bed at a slow tread. If only Stratton were here with her now, supporting her as he’d done when he’d saved her from that horse. She needed him in this moment if only to tell her that she could get through this and that he’d be there for her after.
Having reached the bed, she did what she could to stay strong for Grandmama’s sake. It would not do for her to break down in tears, yet keeping them at bay was a struggle. Her eyes stung and a painful knot had formed in her throat.
“You…mustn’t…weep,” Grandmama murmured while slurring each word. “It’s…life. Love…and…loss. Can’t have one with…without the other.”
“It’s much too soon,” Emily croaked. Leaning forward, she hugged the older woman while taking care not to hurt her. The tears she spilled dampened the sheets. “I’m not ready to let you go.”
