Edward stared at him with unnerving steadiness. “The only reason I proposed is because you refused to fight for her. If you wish to do so, however, I will step aside.”
Jack caught himself holding his breath and slowly expelled it. “It’s too late for that, isn’t it?”
“It will be once we’re married.”
Dropping his gaze to his tankard, Jack stared into the amber liquid while trying to put his thoughts in order. Four years ago he’d been three and twenty years of age. He’d only just inherited his honorary title after his grandfather’s passing, when his father had become the Earl of Turner. And he’d been painfully aware of the duty his new position demanded. Having his father tell him outright that Sophia would not be an option for him when it came to seeking a wife had been intolerable. Jack had been furious with his father, not because he’d suggested Jack might consider marrying Sophia, but because of the threat.
Or so he’d convinced himself.
In truth, being denied Sophia had been the real heart of the matter, one he’d refused to face. But looking back, it was hard not to when the women he’d bedded in the time since had all had dark blonde hair, just like Sophia. While he’d excused the affairs by telling himself he’d offered each one of these women comfort, the truth was he’d sought it, a means by which to pretend if even for the briefest of moments Sophia was his.
He curled his hand into a tight fist and swore beneath his breath while every belief he’d forced upon himself in recent years began to crumble. His love for Sophia was real and powerful, and no amount of running away would make it vanish.
“I only have two choices.” He raised his gaze to Edward’s.
“Yes?”
“I can either resign myself to a miserable life without her, or I can fight for the future I think we both want. Neither will be easy, but there’s no doubt in my mind as to which road will lead to the greatest reward. If I’m successful.”
“So then?”
“My father will oppose the idea, but it’s not as if I really need his approval.” Now that he had amassed his own fortune, he didn’t need his allowance or the inheritance. “If Sophia and I…” Jack blinked as a crazy idea took root in his brain. He was reaching for straws out of sheer desperation – he knew this – and yet he could not help but ask, “If I were to procure a special license, would you then be able to marry us? I know it’s a great favor to ask, all things considered, but it would allow us to wed before Papa has a chance to react.”
Edward smiled, his mouth stretching wide in a way Jack had never seen before. “I would be honored to officiate.”
“No hard feelings?”
“None whatsoever, provided you don’t muck this up, and you take care to treat her well.”
Jack’s heart began thumping with renewed excitement. “You have my word, Edward. I’ll do my best on both counts.”
7
Bright green pinegarlands tied with red ribbons were strung above windows and doorways when Sophia arrived at the assembly hall Christmas dance several days later, accompanied by Edward and his parents. She’d not spoken to Jack since leaving him at the shepherd’s hut and had even asked Edward to deliver the lemons and honey she’d promised Mrs. Richmond so she wouldn’t run into him when he went to work on the roof.
As it turned out, this had been the right decision. According to Edward, Jack had already been at the Richmond house when he arrived with her delivery. Later, when Kaitlin and Felicity invited Sophia for tea at their home, Sophie turned them down. Going to Eastgate Abbey right now was much too risky, so she used excessive wedding preparations as an excuse.
But in spite of the effort she made to avoid Jack, Sophia was not able to do so forever. She had been keenly aware of his presence in church this past Sunday. It was as if his eyes had burned a hole in the nape of her neck during the service, warming her skin and flushing her cheeks.
The memory of the kiss they’d shared lingered, like a spot of stubborn paint upon her lips. Worse was what it had led to, not just the angst or confusion, the wish to flee from all she knew and simply disappear, but the dreams of them being together. Each night when she prepared for bed, she prayed she’d find herself swept away in his arms, even as she hoped she wouldn’t. The contradiction of what she wanted and did not want was driving her mad, each heated kiss and intimate touch she shared with him while asleep, more so.
And as a result, guilt constantly gnawed at her conscience, for it was Edward she was going to marry. Not Jack.
“I see they’ve forgotten the mistletoe,” Edward said as he led her into the dance hall. An aromatic scent of cooked meats wafted toward them from the supper room on the right – a reminder that there was food to be had, should they get hungry.
“They probably don’t want to risk someone taking advantage,” Sophia said while instinctively searching for the one man she both longed to see and escape from in equal measure.
“It looks like a new set is beginning,” Edward said while leading her into the crowded space. “Shall we dance?”
“Would it not be best for us to wait for your parents?” Sophia glanced over her shoulder at where the Fenmores stood. They appeared to have been waylaid by some friends.
“I can think of no reason to do so. Come, Sophia, we are to be married after all.”
The reminder made her heart hurt all over again. But since she loved Edward and none of this mess was his fault, she did her best to smile for his sake. He did have a point after all. They were to be married and it would be wrong of her to ruin what ought to be a happy occasion by being glum.
So she pressed herself closer to him and allowed him to lead her toward the dance floor. They took their positions opposite each other in preparation for the country dance about to commence, and when the lively tune began, she met him halfway. They spun and skipped while weaving a path between other dancers until Sophia was laughing with joy. She caught Edward’s gaze, which was always so somber, and found herself slightly entranced by the unexpected sparkle within it. A grin swiftly followed and her own smile broadened as they danced their way back in line. Whatever her feelings for Jack, she and Edward would find a shared rhythm.
Sophia took comfort in that.
