“Do you honestly think a man like Mr. Fairbanks would have a flawed woman like you unless he was pressured by his parents? It took me for-bloody-ever to gain their compliance, and yet I made every effort becauseyouhad made it clear he was the man you wanted. Well, now you’ll have to settle for what I want. And marriage to an earl - any earl, regardless of age or appearance - is infinitely better than being a lady’s companion.”
Louise stared at her father while he kept talking, droning on about her security and her station. She’d known Mr. Fairbanks had been indifferent about her. He’d told her so himself. In fact, he’d even mentioned his parents’ involvement. But somehow, realizing her own father had been negotiating a deal, that he’d practically bribed a viscount and viscountess with her dowry and whatever else he’d had to tell them, made it so much worse. It made her feel like a piece of livestock being sold at market. And now, here she was, with even the awful prospect of having to keep Lady Croft company until she expired gone. Instead, she was well and truly trapped. Marcus was on his way to Berlin and she, on the way to the altar.
Not even tears would fall in response to the horror. Everything within her, every hope, every dream, was dead. She wasn’t sure how she made her way up to her bedchamber after breakfast. She’d no recollection of leaving the table or climbing the stairs. Numb, she sank onto the chair near her desk and stared into nothing.
“My lady?”
The gentle touch of Hannah’s hand on Louise’s arm made her blink. She glanced at her maid with a strange sort of resolve she was certain one only found when one was out of options. It brought with it an unexpected degree of calm. “Pack a satchel for me please. It needs to be light, so it should only contain the essentials.”
“Are you sure you wish to do this?”
“I must.” Determined, Louise stood and went to the window. She glanced out at the street on which she’d grown up. “If I am to marry Mr. Berkly when he returns, then I have to be free to do so, which means I must leave. There’s no other choice.”
“Perhaps your brother can help. Like last time,” Hannah suggested.
Louise turned to face her. “No. He and his wife have gone to Dorset. They departed yesterday. And as grateful as I am to the Winterlys for welcoming me to their home last time, I would hate to be a burden to them again. Besides, it will now be one of the first places Papa decides to look. I’m certain of it.”
“What of your sisters then?”
Louise thought of Kimberly and Helen. They would both take her in if she arrived at their homes, but Louise feared their husbands might not be as willing to risk their reputations by offering help. “I’d rather leave them out of this.”
“Then what is your plan?”
The answer came to Louise with remarkable promptness. As much as she would have liked to follow Marcus to Berlin, she’d no desire to show up on his doorstep like some desperate woman begging him for assistance. Not when he wished them to spend some time apart. Good lord, he’d think her the very embodiment of clinginess, which was not the sort of attribute any man would find attractive.
“I’ll go to Austria and visit Mama’s parents. Will you come with me?”
Hannah didn’t hesitate. “Of course, my lady. But I don’t have much money to bring along.”
“You mustn’t worry about that, Hannah. You know I’m not a big spender so most of my pin money has been set aside over the years. I’ll use it to cover the expenses.”
“I wouldn’t feel right about that, my lady.”
Louise gave her a straightforward look. “You are in my employ, Hannah. If I am to drag you across Europe, it goes without saying that I should pay for the inconvenience.”
“Very well,” Hannah said. “Shall I begin packing then?”
“Yes. We’ll leave as soon as we’re ready, head over to Charring Cross, and catch the next carriage to Dover.” A knock at her bedchamber door preceded her mother’s arrival. Louise clasped her hands together while Hannah pretended to busy herself with some tidying up.
“I’m sorry things aren’t working out as you’d like,” Mama said, “but your father is right. Marriage is preferable to being a lady’s companion since that can only result in spinsterhood for you. At least this way, you’ll be looked after. And since you will undoubtedly outlive Scarsdale by many decades, you’ll have a chance for a more desirable marriage later.”
“Until then, I’ll just have to suffer the husbandly rights of a man old enough to be my grandfather.” Louise stared at her mother. The temptation to reveal her father’s indiscretion was almost irresistible. But she could not allow herself to be driven by anger. Only by common sense. And as she’d already established, giving away the information would take away the only thing preventing her father from hurting Marcus. Indeed, her father’s fury would likely have no limits if Louise decided to take away his financial freedom.
“Do you think I wanted to leave Austria in favor of a foreign country, to marry a man I’d never met?” Mama asked. “My parents made the arrangements. It wasn’t a love match by any means, but it was more desirable than any other option available to me at the time. I gained a title, entrance into the British nobility.”
“I wish it didn’t always have to be about that,” Louise said. “I wish I could marry for love.”
“Your surgeon may be a decent man, Louise, but that’s not enough to make him suitable. As the son of a murderer—”
“It’s not as though he condones his father’s actions,” Louise said with mounting irritation. “Why then must you continue to punish him for something he had nothing to do with - a crime that happened thirty years ago?”
“The arrest and the hanging that followed is still fresh in people’s minds. It is perhaps the greatest scandal of our lifetime, Louise. To associate with it in any capacity would be disastrous for your future.”
“It doesn’t change how I feel.”
“You’re young,” Mama said. “This will pass.”
She made it sound like a headache from which Louise would soon recover, which only annoyed Louise further. Turning her back on her mother, she said, “If you don’t mind, I would like to be alone.”
