Caught off guard, he produced an involuntary snort. “I could never do that.”
“No?”
Marcus crossed to a chair and settled into it. He folded his arms and deliberately schooled his features. “I recall all my patients.”
“Of course you do. I never suggested otherwise.” Mrs. Winterly kept her gaze firmly trained on her work while she spoke. “It was curious though, how you suddenly came up with all sorts of odd excuses not to check up on her.”
“I had work to do, letters to write, notes to make. My record keeping is extremely detailed, Mrs. Winterly. I draw diagrams and...and all of that takes a great deal of time and dedication.”
“I’m sure it does,” she murmured. “And yet you were able to spare several hours in order to take a ride into Weymouth.”
“I had an important errand.”
“Hmm…”
Irritated, Marcus huffed a breath. “If you really must know, I was trying to find a particular book. When I couldn’t, I decided to place an order.”
Mrs. Winterly nodded. She jabbed her needle through the embroidery, tilting her loop so Marcus could see the pink rose she was making. He glanced at the door. Now would be an excellent time for him to make his escape.
“I don’t think she’d be averse to your courting her.”
“What?” Marcus straightened in his seat. Surely he’d misheard the woman?
“Lady Louise likes you a great deal. She praised you to the heavens while you were huddled away in the library with yourwork.”
“I’ve no idea what you’re getting at, Mrs. Winterly. I suppose I’m glad she doesn’t hate me since that would have been somewhat awkward.”
“There’s no need for you to pretend ignorance on my behalf,” she told him tartly. “I saw how distressed you were when you realized you might have caused her harm.”
“Of course I was distressed. Who she is has nothing to do with that. I’d have felt the same had I done what I did to any one of my other patients.”
“Yes, but when you combine your reaction, the admiration with which you speak of her, and the way your eyes brighten each time someone mentions her name, your growing fondness for her becomes increasingly clear.”
Marcus clenched his jaw. He’d not been aware.
“All I’m saying,” Mrs. Winterly added, “is that I think you’d make a good match.”
“No. We would not,” Marcus told her flatly. “To suppose such a thing is completely out of the question.”
“Are you certain?”
He stood with an almost violent need to get out of the house. “I’m her surgeon. She’s my patient. That’s all there is.”
“Please forgive me, Mr. Berkly. I did not mean to cause offence.”
“You haven’t.” He gave her a curt nod. “Please excuse me.”
Without waiting to hear one more word she might say, Marcus strode from the room and exited the house through a set of doors leading onto a terrace. From there, he descended onto the sprawling lawn, obliterating the distance between the house and the lake some two hundred meters away within a few minutes.
He stared across the water, the calm he saw there a direct contrast to the stormy emotions tumbling around inside him. He wanted to shout his frustration and hit something. How could he have been so transparent? How could Mrs. Winterly have seen what he’d refused to acknowledge even to himself? He wished she hadn’t said anything because then he’d be able to keep denying his growing affection for Lady Louise. But as soon as Mrs. Winterly chose to address it, it had somehow become a real issue he couldn’t ignore any longer.
Damn him for not guarding his heart with greater care.
The stubborn organ beat with relentless enthusiasm now, forcing him to glance back at the building where Lady Louise remained. He set his jaw and tried his best to rid his mind of her, only to be reminded of her soft sigh of pleasure when he’d touched her feet, the joy on her face when he’d spoken the German numbers with perfection, her determination to withstand any pain and hardship she had to endure in order to improve upon her life, her bravery, the interest she showed in him and his work. What man wouldn’t want to hold on to all that forever?
An unhappy laugh rolled through him. Once upon a time, the world had been his for the taking. Now he was forced to fight tooth and nail for whatever he wanted. A shuddering breath squeezed his throat as he let himself face his deepest desire. For eight years his only goal had been to rebuild his life - to become a new man - a more capable one. He’d achieved that goal without much thought for what his life might consist of beyond that. To be sure, there had been a few women here and there. Hell, in thebefore, he’d danced with some of England’s most eligible young ladies. But there had never been a need for permanence with any of them.
He felt that need now. For the first time in his life, he wanted one woman - a very particular one - and he’d not the foggiest notion of how to make her his in a way that would not destroy her life forever.
