“Oh, I see. It’s the wanting what you cannot have, then.”
Matthew shook his head. “You know I’ve been wife hunting for two years. I considered everyone and eventually picked her. Starting over with the whole process strikes me as exhausting, so I’m trying to change her mind by letting her get to know me.”
David cut him a skeptical look. “You don’t let anyone do that. Hell, I don’t even know what makes that brain of yours tick for the most part. And when it comes to your past–”
“I think I’ve managed to dissuade her from pressing that particular issue.”
“So then?”
“We’ve gone fishing, played games, talked at great length, and danced. I showed her the folly, you know.”
“The monument to your suffering?” David snorted. “Good God, Matthew. If you’re not careful, she might fall in love with you.”
“That is what I’m aiming for.” When David gaped at him as if he’d gone mad, Matthew felt compelled to say, “It’s the only way I can think of ensuring her acceptance.”
“It’s a bloody diabolical way, if you ask me,” David said. “Getting a woman to fall in love with you when you have no plan of loving her back? Christ. I’ve never thought myself to be the softhearted sort, but even I’m getting queasy just thinking about it.”
Matthew tightened his hold on the reins and stared straight ahead. He couldn’t afford to feel guilty over this, and what good would that do anyway? Miss Townsbridge was of an age where she ought to get married. She wasn’t in love with anyone else. He wasn’t ruining her chance of a happy union. It was clear no other man had an interest. So then, what was the harm?
You’ll break her heart and crush her spirit.
No. He wouldn’t. She was a strong and capable woman. All he had to do was make sure she was too distracted to ponder the lack of his presence after the wedding. He’d make sure she had a whole zoo of animals needing her care, a dozen female companions for her to play games with, vast amounts of land on which to walk, and a pond where she could fish.
She’d be too preoccupied to think of him, let alone miss him. And on the few occasions when they met, he’d stop her from worrying over his absence by making love to her with zeal.
It wasn’t ideal, but it was the best he could offer. She’d have a good life - the sort of life other young women would envy. He urged his horse into a gallop, not caring if David was able to keep up or not.
#
THE NEXT TIME SARAHsaw Brunswick, he was leaving a hothouse with a bouquet of flowers.
“Oh,” she exclaimed and promptly cursed herself for sounding like a dimwitted fool while her heart proceeded to flutter like mad. Which was perfectly nonsensical.
The corners of his eyes crinkled as he smiled. Of course he looked handsome as ever, which somehow seemed to vex her.
“Miss Townsbridge,” he said. “How serendipitous of us to meet here when I was intending to call on you forthwith.” He looked to her side and acknowledged her maid with a polite nod that only increased Sarah’s fondness for him.
“You were?” she asked, attempting to sound only mildly excited. Lord, how she’d missed him these past few days. It was quite unreasonable and could only mean one thing.
She’d fallen in love and apparently the act had turned her into a fawning idiot.
He raised an eyebrow while she did her best to maintain her equilibrium. “Perhaps you will allow me to escort you home. If that is where you were heading.”
“Thank you. I’d appreciate that.” To her relief her voice sounded normal. “As long as you do not mind a short detour. I’ve a sudden craving for an ice and Gunter’s isn’t far.”
She was in desperate need of immediate refreshment, something cool to soothe her agitated nerves and dispel the flush she could feel in her cheeks.
“Do you know, I’ve never had one before.”
Sarah gaped at him. “You’ve never had an ice?”
“No.”
“Not even as a child? Your parents never bought one for you?”
She recognized her mistake immediately and wished she could shove the words back in her mouth. What was she thinking, bringing up his childhood and his parents when she knew it would only remind him of loss?
“In any case,” she told him brightly, hoping to quell the despair she knew would be sinking its teeth into him already. “You are in for a treat. The–”
