“I received an offer to do so but declined. A year that far away from my family was long enough. It was time to come home and ponder what to do next.”
“You’re different from most men in your position.” When he gave her a quizzical look, she explained, “From what I gather, the sons of peers don’t usually seek employment, except through the church or military.”
“Legal professions are also acceptable. In fact, they’re traditional for third sons, but my family isn’t very traditional. If they were, James would have bought a commission years ago. Instead, he and his wife have entered the manufacturing business. They’ve hired seamstresses to create stylish and inexpensive clothing for those who can’t afford a modiste or a tailor. Abigail, my sister-in-law, designs them. She’s got quite a knack.”
“I did hear a couple of maids discussing it some time ago but didn’t pay too much attention since I was sure they must be mistaken. After all, it is uncommon, but I have to say it’s also impressive. Being in a position of constant judgment by theton, it must take tremendous courage to stand apart and be different. I rather admire it.”
“Me too.” He chuckled lightly. “I sometimes wonder if I’d have what it takes to thwart expectation and face condemnation in pursuit of my dreams.”
An unexpected tension gripped Eloise’s muscles. “And what are your dreams?”
He shrugged. “I’m not sure yet.”
Her insides twisted. Of course it was foolish of her to think for one second that they’d involve her. And even if they did, he’d just confirmed that he didn’t want her enough. Whatever he felt would never allow him to pursue more than a brief flirtation. Of course it wouldn’t. How silly of her to think it might.
“I’d love to open a culinary school one day,” she said, hoping her own dream would help lift her spirits.
“That’s quite an ambition.”
“A real dream ought to be, don’t you think? If it’s easily attainable it’s more of a task you decide to complete as opposed to a goal you must work toward or hope for.” His mouth slanted, the left side scrunching a little as if in thought. “I’ve made some calculations and since I don’t require much on a daily basis, saving the majority of my salary ought to allow me to realize my dream in about ten years.”
“Good lord. That is a long time.”
“It will certainly require patience, but in the end it will be a wonderful achievement. I hope.” Inhaling deeply, she allowed the fragrant smell of the countryside to infuse her senses. “In my opinion anything worth having requires work.”
“One could say your food is testament to that notion.”
He smiled at her with charm and warmth and such openness that it was easy for her to imagine him pulling her into his arms and holding her close. Of pressing his lips to hers and offering her a glimpse of what life by William’s side would look like.
Fearful of how her heart might suffer, Eloise pulled away and went to inspect the brook. She needed distance, a chance to collect her thoughts and regain her composure – time in which to build a much needed wall between them.
“Eloise.”
Her name whispered close to her ear, sparking her awareness until every nerve in her body strained with anticipation. “Don’t. Whatever it is you mean to say, please don’t.”
“I’ve been thinking at great length,” he said, as if she hadn’t spoken, “and I’d like to make a suggestion.”
Eloise turned toward him. She knew what he would say. There was only one option really, and it would not involve an offer of marriage. It couldn’t. So she balled her hands into fists and forced her spine into a rigid position.
“No. Whatever it is you’re hoping for it’s not going to happen.” Taking advantage of his momentary surprise, she walked away as fast as she could, hastening back up the hill with every intention of finding Athena. Spending time in William’s company had been a monumentally bad idea.
“But you don’t even know what I was going to say.”
“Of course I do,” she hissed at him over her shoulder. “I am a servant and you are a viscount’s son, so if you want what I think you want, then there’s only one way to achieve it and I won’t allow that.”
“But—”
“Non! Arretez.” She swept her hand out in a gesture of finality. This thing between them, whatever it was and however much it made her heart beat faster, was over.
Spotting Athena, Eloise breathed a sigh of relief and forced a smile. “There you are. Did you manage to find some good specimens for your project?”
Athena turned toward her. She nodded, then frowned and tilted her head. “Why does my brother look so sullen? Did the two of you quarrel?”
“Of course not,” Eloise assured her. “That would imply I am in a position to question what he might say when all I am is a servant.”
Athena responded with a belligerent look. “You’re more than that, Ellie.”
“My mother was, perhaps, but I’m not, and while I do enjoy your company, I cannot afford to forget my place. It would help a great deal if you would try to remember that.”Instead of trying to match me with a man I want but cannot have.
