Whispered her name. “Cass?” Because he had to know – had to understand what was going on between them before she drove him insane.
Except she didn’t answer, perhaps because she hadn’t heard the question in his voice or understood what it was he was asking. Whatever the case, it hardly mattered when in the next instant she moved her hands to his sides, running them upward, the motion making him lift his arms until his shirt was suddenly gone and she was leaning in, her lips scorching his skin as she kissed him right over his heart.
A shudder raked his spine and his hand instinctively rose to hold her head to him. “Cass?” he asked again, his voice hoarse and his body unbearably strained.
“Hmmm?” She tipped back her chin and met his gaze, her eyes shimmering with something he’d never seen there before.
Raggedly, he forced himself to ask, “What are you doing?” Because he had to be sure, needed for it to be perfectly clear so he’d know precisely how he should act and what to expect.
An uncharacteristically shy smile touched her lips, but she didn’t look away. Instead she slid her hand up over his shoulder, along the side of his neck until she caressed his cheek.
And then she said, “I’m inviting you to make love to me, Dev.”
He almost tripped over his own bloody feet in his haste to grab her and kiss her and dear God! He’d dreamed of this moment for so damn long, and now it was here and he hardly knew where to start because he wanted to do everything all at once.
With a deep breath, he forced himself to reign in his fervor. This was to be their first time together, and he doubted she’d appreciate it being over in under ten seconds. And also, he realized, he needed some answers – some sort of confirmation that she wasn’t acting irrationally or on a whim.
“Are you sure?” The last thing he wanted was for her to answer in the negative, but he needed to know her heart was engaged and that this wasn’t something she would regret in the morning.
“Yes.” She tried to pull him back for another kiss, but he resisted.
“What about Timothy?” He wasn’t an idiot after all. Devlin knewhewas the reason she hadn’t given herself to him yet. Because she’d believed it was wrong, still mourned the loss, refused to move on. The reason didn’t really matter, but the power behind it did. Because during the last six weeks, he’d discovered he didn’t just like her or respect her or enjoy her company. He could easily grow to love her. And damn it all, he wanted her love in return. He didn’t want her loving another man more. Not even a dead one.
She stopped. Just stopped. As if frozen in time.
Devlin scarcely dared breathe while he waited for her to move, to give him her answer. Because he knew it would shape their future. And he dreaded the possibility of it shaping it badly.
“He was everything to me,” she finally murmured. Devlin’s heart clenched, as if gripped by a fist. Her eyes found his, their shimmer suggesting she fought back tears. “But I think you could be everything too. I think…” She shook her head. “You’ve always been a dear friend and I know it’s taken me forever to realize this and accept it, but the thing is… I need you. More than that, I want you, in a way I haven’t wanted anyone for so very long, and while I don’t know where this will take us,youare my husband.” She implored him with her eyes in a way he couldn’t resist, then added, “I want to try and make our marriage a good one. For both our sakes.”
She wasn’t saying she might one day love him, but in her own way, she’d said enough. More than he’d ever expected, really. So he wouldn’t ask her for more. Instead, he would simply kiss her.
Chapter 13
Thirteen
Cassandra wasn’t entirelysure when she’d recognized this was what she wanted. In a way, it had happened gradually. But if she had to point at one moment, she believed she would choose this afternoon, when she’d entered Penelope’s cabin and found her cocooned in Devlin’s arms. Because it had served as a stark reminder of his importance. Having his support and knowing she was able to count on him when needed, made her realize that letting him into her heart made more sense than pushing him away. He was family, the closest thing to a father Penelope would ever know, and God willing, the only husband Cassandra would ever have.
And as this notion had cemented itself more firmly during the rest of the day, the guilt she felt and the gnawing pain in her chest that invariably came with the idea of making a life for herself with a man who wasn’t Timothy had dissipated. Until it melted away completely.
Allowing Devlin to care for her and letting herself care for him in return would not diminish what she and Timothy had shared. The bond would be different, perhaps even stronger with time, and she finally felt as if that was all right. Perhaps, she mused, because much of the heartache she’d felt had been self-imposed. Not that she’d felt sorry for herself, but she’d been young – so very young – when it had happened. And looking forward at decades of empty loneliness ahead had been horribly depressing.
She’d never thought she would actually marry. Her reputation had been so tarnished she hadn’t even hoped. Instead, she’d run away and told herself to stay true to her love, because at least then, she’d have something to believe in.
Except now there was Devlin. She’d never imagined she’d be here with him, on a ship of all places, like this. What she’d done, undressing him as she had, was more daring than she’d intended. But with her decision made and him staring at her as if she embodied his every fantasy, she knew there was only one way to do this: by living to the fullest.
His lips found hers and she kissed him back boldly, tasting his hunger until they both gasped for breath. And then she kissed him again, because she could and because she loved the feel of his lips against her own. Desperate to touch him, she grabbed at his shoulders and held on tight, reveling in the warmth of his skin and the power that lay beneath.
“Christ, Cass.” His lips left hers to trail a delicious path down the side of her neck while his hand crept over her hip. “I need to see you.” His breath was hot, his voice thick with desire.
And then he stepped back, allowing cool air to encase her.
She stared at him, at his tight expression and the fire burning in the depth of his eyes. His fingers twitched, as if he was desperate to reach out and touch her, but chose not to do so through some force of will.I need to see you. There was no question about what he asked. And since she’d seen him – most of him anyway – she understood his reasoning.
So she reached for the hem of her nightgown and, pulling it slowly upward, revealed herself to him.
“You…” His voice caught and he simply stood there, staring at her until she grew unbearably self-conscious. She glanced at her discarded nightgown. Perhaps she should put it back on? Her fingers started to reach toward it.
“Stop!”
