“Romantic?”
Color flooded Penelope’s cheeks. “He chased after you, Mama, and fought for your hand even though it was obvious you did not want him to do so.”
“That could just mean he lacks common sense and manners.”
The arch look Penelope gave her seemed far too mature for a twelve-year-old to manage. “Either way, his persistence paid off.”
“When on earth did you become so observant?”
Penelope grinned. “I’ve also noticed you haven’t denied the part about him being handsome.”
It was Cassandra’s turn to blush. “Well,” she said, “doing so would be rather dishonest, don’t you think?”
Penelope’s grin turned into a joyous smile. “I’m glad you’re doing this.” Having finished with her boots, Penelope stood, chin raised, and with a thoughtful expression suggestive of great insight. “Hopefully, it will give you the same kind of happiness Mary and Emily were able to find with Caleb and Griffin.”
Cassandra had her doubts about that since her motive for getting married was entirely different from what her friends’ had been.But she appreciated her daughter’s words and most especially the blessing they represented. And now that she’d put her initial annoyance with Devlin aside, she agreed he wasn’t the worst man a woman could end up marrying.
Half an hour later, while standing with Katherine on the edge of a meadow they’d carefully selected for their kite flying outing, or kiting, as the children liked to call it, she watched Devlin help unwind strings and show the youngest boys what to do. He knelt beside them in the grass, making gestures and offering explanations.
Katherine gave Cassandra a nudge when Devlin showed Henry how to hold the kite and run with it. “He’ll make an excellent father one day.”
Cassandra choked on her own breath and coughed until tears pooled in her eyes.
“Good heavens.” Katherine patted her back. “Are you all right?”
“Mm...hmm.” Cassandra took a deep breath, coughed once more, and finally felt her throat start to clear. “It’s just...um...what you said.”
Katherine tilted her head and gave Cassandra an odd look. A frown creased her brow and then suddenly, without any warning, her eyes grew wide. “Cass.” Her expression conveyed a mixture of shock and sympathy. “He’s going to be your husband. I mean, that man over there will be yours to...” She waved her hand.
Cassandra groaned. “I know, but I don’t think I can.”
“Because of Timothy?”
“I loved him with all my heart, Kathy. To... Oh, how do I explain this?” She blew out a breath. Devlin was now running across the field with Henry, shouting instructions while the rest of the children looked on. And then the kite was released. It wobbled slightly until a breeze caught it and swept it up into the sky. Henry whooped and Devlin grinned while the rest of the children called for him to help them next. “I gave Timothy something I swore I’d never give anyone else. The night we spent together was magical, Kathy. I remember each detail, each precious moment, so vividly I can close my eyes and picture it with perfect clarity.”
“And you worry this memory will fade or be overshadowed by new ones made with Devlin.”
Cassandra nodded. “I feel as though I’m betraying Timothy by even marrying Devlin – by pledging myself to someone else before God.”
Katherine reached for Cassandra’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “I didn’t know Timothy, but I cannot imagine he would want you to torture yourself like this. Don’t you think he would rather you moved on and found someone else to share your life with?”
“Of course he would. But that doesn’t ease the ache in my heart or stop the guilt from eating away at my conscience.” Liking Devlin, being attracted to him, only made it worse. “I’m marrying Devlin for Penelope’s sake. He’s a friend, so I don’t imagine it being so bad. But I won’t give him children, Kathy. I cannot make myself do it.”
“Is Devlin aware of this?” When Cassandra answered in the affirmative, Katherine looked stunned. “And he has agreed?”
“Until four days ago he had no intention to marry or have children, so I don’t believe it’s an issue, considering his motivation is based entirely on doing the honorable thing.”
“I see,” Katherine murmured. But the way she said it made Cassandra wonder if she might be pulling the wool over her own eyes. Devlin was, after all, a man in his prime. He would surely have needs. And if she didn’t satisfy them, then he’d probably have to find someone else who was willing to do so.
She considered his lean body as he loped across the field to help Rosemary and Penelope with their kite. For some peculiar reason, her heart squeezed painfully at the thought of him being with another woman. But she supposed that was something she’d simply have to get used to since dishonoring Timothy wasn’t an option.
Chapter 6
“I have to return to London,”Devlin informed Cassandra the following day when he found her in the kitchen.
She met his gaze without any hint of how his comment affected her. “When do you leave?”
“Immediately after breakfast.” Was that a flicker of disappointment in her eyes? He couldn’t be sure, but he hoped she’d regret his absence a little. “I left in a bit of a hurry, you see.” A hint of a smile tugged at her lips as she averted her gaze. “My quartermaster will be needing my help with the cargo we brought to England and then with readying the ship for departure.”
