“It is good to see you as well,” she told him in her most soothing tone. “You cannot know how much I have missed you.”
A muscle ticked at the edge of his mouth, and his eyes darkened like thunderclouds ready to unleash lightning. “Not enough, it would seem, or I would not have returned to find you in Mr. Partridge’s arms.”
The fact that he was almost shouting at her alerted Emily to the depth of the anguish she’d caused him. Aware of his past experience, she sympathized, even as his temper riled her. “I am not Clara,” she told him bluntly. “Deceit is not in my nature, Griffin, and you,” she pointed a finger straight at his chest, “you have to be able to trust me. Because if you can’t do that, then what hope do we have of being happy together?”
He snorted with displeasure. “Trust you?” He crossed his arms and shook his head. “I returned to London as quickly as possible because I was eager to see you. Instead I find you gazing adoringly up at another man, and you want me to trust you?” He leaned forward, his expression hard and unyielding. “Do not make the error of thinking me a fool, Emily.” He leaned back again and averted his gaze, giving his attention to the window.
Chilling dread drove its way through Emily’s bones like nails being hammered through wood. “You…you have it all wrong.” Her throat was starting to close, making it hard for her to get the words out. Pain spliced her heart and her eyes now burned with an awful hint of oncoming tears.
A scoff was Griffin’s only response.
Emily clutched her hands in her lap. “We were celebrating Laura’s engagement.”
“Then I must ask you to wish her well, for I bear no ill will toward her.”
Emily swallowed. She started reaching for him but stopped. “You don’t understand.”
“On the contrary, I think I understand everything perfectly. You enjoyed the attention I gave you, and when I was gone you missed that. This caused you to seek it elsewhere, to fill the void my absence had cause and to—”
“Laura and David are to be married, Griffin.” Emily blurted the words without finesse, throwing them at him in the hope they would stick. She blinked in response to his frozen expression. “Mr. Partridge proposed this morning and Laura accepted. I was dancing with him as his future sister-in-law. Nothing more.”
The truth slammedGriffin hard against the ground as the words Emily had spoken sank in.
Gripping the seat, he allowed his body to accept that there was no need for a fight, that he had been wrong and that he had misjudged the situation entirely. The tension in his muscles eased and his jaw relaxed. The haze of anger that had clouded his brain like a thick, blinding fog faded away. He stared across at Emily, at her pained expression and shimmering eyes. She was close to tears though she forced them back. He had done that, fool that he was. He’d let jealousy lead him down an irrational road and as a result, he’d hurt her again.
Christ!
“Emily, I—”
“You believed the worst of me, Griffin. You…” Her voice dropped and she closed her eyes. “You didn’t trust me.”
“I’m sorry.” God help him, he was an ass. Advising Langdon not to marry her had been done before he’d gotten to know her. She’d forgiven him for that reason. Because he hadn’t owed her anything at the time. But he did owe her now, and rather than believe in her as he ought to have done, he’d chosen to think that she’d cast him aside for Partridge. “I promised never to hurt you again and I failed, Emily. What happened with Clara still haunts me. I keep fearing I’ll be deceived once more and…there’s also the scar.”
“You know I don’t care about that.” Her voice was small and weak.
Griffin reached for her hand, so cold he wanted to breathe heat into her skin. “God, Emily, I’m so sorry. Please…please look at me, darling.”
She shook her head and his heart crumpled.
“The truth is that the scar does matter. To me.” Even though her eyes remained closed, her fingers wove between his, causing hope to stir in his soul. “It has ruined my face and made me feel lacking. Overcoming that feeling of insecurity has been a difficult struggle. In instances like tonight it prompts me to wonder why you would ever choose me over someone who’s perfect.”
She opened her eyes then and gazed up into his face. A lone tear spilled from her lashes and trickled slowly down her cheek. “No man is more perfect than you, Griffin.” She reached up to trail the tip of her finger over his scar. “And if you’ll allow me, I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to convince you of that fact.”
Undone by the honesty in her voice and her fierce determination in spite of the pain he'd caused her, Griffin pulled her from the opposite bench and straight onto his lap.
She didn’t resist, for which he thanked his lucky stars. After everything he’d put her through, he knew he would be the luckiest man in England when she eventually spoke her vows.
Ifshe still wanted to do so.
To think she might not made his chest crack open in fear. His arms closed around her with a fierceness that almost surprised him. The need to hold her, to feel her warmth, and to somehow communicate the depth of his feelings for her was so necessary to his peace of mind that he worried he’d never be able to let her go again.
Inhaling deeply, he breathed her in, allowing her sweet aroma to awaken his senses. Christ, how he’d missed her; the way her flesh dipped beneath his fingertips and how a loose lock of her hair brushed against his cheek when he drew her more firmly against him.
“What can I do to earn your forgiveness?” he asked against the delicate curve of her jaw.
“Trust me.” Her fingers found their way into his hair, raking a path that caused vibrating sparks to erupt all over his scalp. “Believe me when I say thatyouare the only man I want. The only man I will ever want. Not only because you’re my perfect match, but because I love you, Griffin. Because I shall always love you.”
“And I shall always love you, Emily. But there may be moments like this when the past interferes. When my insecurities and the mistrust I’ve been taught to harbor threaten to ruin everything. And I’ll need you more than ever then, to remind me that it’s an illusion and that what we have together is real.”
