“Please,” Griffin murmured without a hint of humor. “I did not mean to interrupt.”
“Oh no, by all means, do go ahead,” Emily said. She hadn’t really had anything meaningful to say anyway and was far more anxious to hear him out.
“Indeed,” Cassandra quipped, “I can barely stand the suspense.”
Griffin frowned but chose not to respond. Instead, he kept his gaze firmly on Emily. And then he spoke, his voice slightly more stable than before and so clear that there was no chance for her not to hear him. “I would be honored if you would walk with me, Emily.”
She could see the anxiety building inside him, conveyed by the tension in his posture, the rigidity of his stance, the tight set of his jaw. If she hadn’t known better, she might have believed he was furious and eager for a fight. Instead, she noted the truth in his eyes for they reflected the tortured state of his soul.
“Thank you, my lord. The garden does look particularly inviting today. I would be happy to walk with you as long as Cassandra and Camberly have no objection.”
“Objection? Oh no. How could we possibly object? By all means do go ahead,” the pair spoke in unison, their words overlapping in their eagerness to shoo Griffin and Emily along.
Emily returned Cassandra’s seemingly innocent expression with a wry smile that was sure to inform her that she wasn’t fooling anyone. It was clear that she wanted Griffin and Emily to resolve their issues as quickly as possible so they could move on. And while Emily appreciated that, she wished her friend wouldn’t be quite so obvious. After all, she had yet to hear Griffin out, and then she would have to make some big decisions. Nothing was certain yet. Especially since he would surely have to return to Vienna.
He stepped toward her and offered his arm. “Shall we?”
For some inexplicable reason, the severity of his voice sent a frisson down her spine. She had no reason to be nervous and yet she was. Perhaps because his demeanor made her feel as though there were insurmountable barriers between them. She could not relate to this somber man he’d turned into, though she had to admit she would not have been pleased if he didn’t look slightly remorseful. But the lack of boyishness about his eyes and the absence of his cheeky smiles made her long for the man he’d been before he’d discovered his mistake. For it was as if the light inside him had faded, leaving nothing but darkness behind.
Linking her arm with his, Emily relaxed a little in response to the familiar reaction he inspired in her body. A hum of awareness vibrated through her, and her heart beat faster than it had seconds earlier. “My parents are not outside,” she observed when they’d gone a few paces in silence. “Neither is your mother.”
“It is my understanding that they have chosen to take an afternoon nap.”
“I see.” Emily bit her lip and tried to think of something else to say. “Langdon’s wife seems nice.” She winced when she felt Griffin’s arm go rigid. Of all the things to mention.
“Emily, I—”
“A bit tall for a woman, but quite pretty if you take the time to consider her features properly,” Emily added. She was suddenly quite unable to keep quiet, the words rushing off the tip of her tongue like water flowing over a fall. “She says she likes playing cards, which is something that I quite enjoy as well, so there is a chance we can find some common ground there. To be sure, she does not appear as approachable as one might wish, but given the fact that we shall be here for a while, rubbing shoulder to shoulder, I cannot imagine us leaving without have formed some sort of friendship. In fact, I—”
“Emily.” His voice was louder, firmer, and unquestioningly demanding now. They’d reached the trimmed hedge leading into the rose garden, and he pulled her through the opening and turned her to face him. His breaths were low and labored, his eyes filled with the sort of determination that could convince a woman he would slay every dragon in the kingdom for her. “I have wronged you in the worst possible way and I…” He released her to rake his fingers through his hair. The result afforded him with a wild look of abandon that was rather appealing. “I was wrong to advise Langdon on a matter that I knew nothing about. I should not have said anything. I should have allowed him to make his own decision.”
“You were his friend. To answer him when he specifically wrote to you and inquired about your opinion was only natural. Indeed, it would have been thoughtless of you not to.”
“Thoughtless?” He scoffed and spun away, the soles of his boots upsetting the neatly raked gravel. “All I have been is thoughtless. Toward you and toward him. For I pretended to know what was best even though I was far away. Even though I had never met you and thus possessed no information on which to base my opinion. And yet I gave it, damning your future and possibly his in the process.”
As hurt as Emily had been to discover his involvement in her broken attachment to Langdon, she hated seeing Griffin as torn up over it as he was. Hesitantly, she approached the spot where he stood, staring down at one of the many flowerbeds filled with thorny stems and green leaves. It would be at least one more month, perhaps two, before buds began appearing.
Stepping up beside him, Emily placed her hand on his arm. The slight tensing of muscle was the only indication that he noticed. “Everyone makes mistakes, Griffin. As it turns out, yours might have been for the best.”
He glanced at her, his eyebrows dipping beneath his frown. “You didn’t speak to your mother for almost six years because of me.”
“You helped us make peace with each other.”
“Which wouldn’t have been necessary if I hadn’t interfered in the first place.”
Emily sighed and leaned her head against his shoulder.
“My mother and I had our differences long before I was introduced to Langdon. Eventually, he became a way for me to escape her control, but that is all it would have been since I never fell in love with him.” She drew away from him slightly so she could tip her head back and look at his handsome face.
Steeling herself for the cliff over which she intended to leap, she took a quick breath, pushed her fear as deep as it could possibly go, and said, “I fell in love withyou, Griffin. With your considerate nature, teasing personality, and unpretentious ways.”
He stared at her in silence. Oh, how she wished he would say something so she didn’t feel so alone right now. Perhaps she’d misjudged him? Maybe his feelings for her weren’t as deep.
“I don’t deserve you.” He spoke as if what she’d just said made no sense. “You should be angry with me. Indeed, I would prefer it if you would yell or shout or at least give me some sort of set-down for what I did.”
She understood. His guilt was eating away at him. “I will admit that I was shocked, angry, and hurt when I first learned of what you had done. But when I forced myself to think calmly about it, to consider the facts using logical reasoning, I determined that I was wrong to feel as though you betrayed me in any way. Because you didn’t.”
“I still hurt you.”
