Emily waited until he’d disappeared back inside before taking a long fortifying breath. It was time for her to face the man she’d once believed she would marry. And she would do so with her head held high and a smile on her face. After all, she had not loved him. There really wasn’t any reason why they could not put the past behind them and try to be friends.
15
Griffin swungoff his horse when he reached the edge of the Montvale property, deciding to walk the remaining mile. Or perhaps he was looking for a way to delay his arrival. Being gone most of the day without explanation would likely result in questions. But he’d had to get away in order to gather his thoughts and think clearly. He would not have been able to do so knowing thatshewas nearby.
He kicked a lump of earth with the heel of his boot as he passed over it. His horse, Apollo, puffed out some air. The effort caused his upper lip to flutter in a way that showed off his solid teeth. Griffin breathed in the afternoon air and reached up to slide his hand over Apollo’s neck. The horse swung his head and nickered.
Griffin smiled. During his ride, he’d come to one startling conclusion. And that was that he was an absolute fool. What surprised him was the length of time it had taken him to draw this conclusion, which was most of the day. But the fact had become increasingly clear the more he’d thought about Emily and the time they’d spent together at Clearview. He’d looked back on their conversations, on the joy in her eyes when he’d fixed her clock, the pleasure with which she’d cooked for him, and a host of other reasons why his heart felt full when he envisioned her face.
Yes, there was desire. His lust for her had grown into a chained creature that pulled on its manacles, desperate to be freed. But there was more: a yearning for her company, a longing to hear her thoughts and to share his own thoughts with her, a sense of loss creeping under his ribs when she wasn’t near. She was bright and happy and beautiful, and he, idiot that he was, was hopelessly in love with her.
Except he’d been too bloody dense to realize it sooner. Worse, he’d failed to tell her last night when the opportunity had arisen. Which meant she might not believe him now. She might just think he was telling her what she needed to hear in order to get what he wanted. So he was back to the idea of courtship. It was the only way he could think of to show her the contents of his heart and convince her that she had become the single most important person in his life.
With this in mind, he’d stopped in the village to buy a few things – gifts with which to surprise her during the coming days. Things he hoped might prove not just how well he knew her, but that he’d been paying attention to her in a way that only an infatuated man would. He smiled at that thought. Everything would be right with the world now that he’d figured out how he felt. It would no longer feel as though it tilted sideways at an uncomfortable angle.
Satisfied with the self-discovery he’d undertaken and the plan he’d made right after, Griffin returned Apollo to the stables, collected the purchases strapped to his saddle, and strode toward the house. He had to force himself not to run up the front steps since coming off overly eager would look too suspicious. So he deliberately paused and took a deep breath before opening the front door and entered just in time to catch the swirling hem of a gown disappearing up the grand staircase.
Griffin frowned and took a step back when Mary arrived from the parlor, her face drawn tight and her mouth set in a firm line. Cassandra and Laura followed on her heals, both halting as soon as they spotted him.
“Is everything all right?” he asked just as Caleb came to join them.
“Not exactly.” Mary said with a quick backward glance at her husband.
“You’ve hurt her,” Laura said with sadness.
“How could you?” Cassandra asked, her soft tone affecting him more than if she had yelled.
Griffin frowned. He looked to his brother, hoping to understand what had happened. Clearly they blamed him for something, though what it might be, he could not fathom. But it did have the prompt effect of dimming his spirits and casting a shadow of uncertainty over his happiness.
“I’m not sure what you’re accusing me of,” Griffin said as calmly as he could manage. He offered a smile in an effort to ease the tension, but it only seemed to irritate them more.
Muttering something that Griffin couldn’t hear, Mary shook her head and continued toward the stairs. Cassandra and Laura were right behind her, but when they reached the first step, Cassandra paused to say, “You ruined her chance of happiness. Recovering from that won’t be easy.”
The words echoed through Griffins mind, over and over without making sense. He looked at Caleb whose expression was growing stonier by the second. “What the devil?”
“You’ve got some explaining to do.” Caleb gestured in the direction of his study. “And then a fair bit of groveling, I expect. If Emily’s ever going to forgive you.”
Griffin stood where he was for a good five seconds, unable to move. None of this made any sense. Unless someone had seen him entering or leaving Emily’s bedchamber last night and she now had no choice but to marry him. That would explain Cassandra accusing him of ruining her chance of happiness, he supposed.
“Griffin?” Caleb’s voice jolted him out of his reverie. He blinked and forced his feet to carry his heavy body forward. When he entered the study, Caleb was already pouring brandy into a pair of tumblers. “You’re going to need this.”
“What I need,” Griffin said, rallying, “is for you to tell me what the hell is going on.”
Caleb gave him a pensive look, then went to the door, shut it, and handed one of the tumblers to Griffin. “Have a seat.”
Bristling, Griffin glanced at one of the two chairs standing opposite his brother’s. A wide mahogany desk stood between them. He didn’t feel like sitting. What he felt like right now was pacing – a means by which to work through the agitation sparking his nerves.
“We’ve a lot to discuss, Griffin. Sitting would make that easier.”
Taking a sip of his drink, Griffin placed his purchases on the nearest chair and sat down in the other. He leaned back, fingers drumming impatiently on the armrests. “Proceed.” He wanted this over with quickly. If he had to apologize for something he didn’t even know he had done, then by all means he’d do it. One way or another he would get back to the plan he had of showing Emily that he loved her.
“Langdon arrived an hour ago.” Caleb took his own seat, sipped his brandy, and allowed the comment to linger while studying Griffin.
“Can’t wait to see him,” Griffin said. “It has been too long.” And Caleb was now causing further delay. Griffin took another sip of his drink, savoring the sharp, burning flavor as it slid down his throat.
“His wife is extremely talkative. Pleasant lady and perfect for Langdon, but not the sort one can trust with a secret.”
Griffin frowned. “What in blazes are you talking about?” If he was suggesting that he had a secret with Langdon’s wife whom he doubted he’d ever met, then perhaps a physician should be called to evaluate the sanity of everyone who might believe such rubbish.
