A rough sound rose from Lord Griffin’s throat. He was staring at his plate. “Why?”
Emily shrugged. “He’s very agreeable and discreet. Of all the gentlemen I’m acquainted with, I believed him the most likely one to show me what kissing is like without making demands after.”
“I see.”
“Do you really?” She set her plate aside and picked up her cup. “Are you really able to imagine what it is like to be six and twenty years old and not have experienced kissing? To fear you might never do so or that if you do you’ll end up trapped in an unhappy marriage? That the action, no matter how simple, could have dire repercussions for your sister?” She shook her head. “Men are able to learn about these aspects of life without anyone caring one way or the other. Indeed, they are expected to do so and more.”
“More?”
“Well, yes. All young gentlemen have mistresses, and if they do not then they visit the brothels. By the time they marry, they have acquired a wealth of knowledge that young women completely lack.”
If there wasone thing Griffin could say with confidence, it was that Miss Howard did and said the most unexpected things. It had taken considerable restraint on his part to stop his mouth from falling open in response to her rather outrageous remark.
“Do you deliberately aim to shock people?” He honestly wasn’t sure since he did not know her well enough yet to have discovered if this was a permanent characteristic of hers or merely the result of being too put out by circumstance to care.
Her eyes widened. “Oh, I do beg your pardon. I’m not usually so blunt.” She smiled then, with a wryness he found incredibly charming. “Except when I’m with Cass and Mary. We’ve grown so close over the years, I feel I can say whatever I like to them without reproach.”
Griffin felt a sharp pang in the middle of his chest. He envied that sort of honesty and the bond it forged. The years he’d spent apart from his brothers made him feel foreign to them, in a way. Which was yet another reason why he wanted to leave; so he could escape the lack of closeness he experienced with his family.
When he’d returned, he’d foolishly imagined they’d all pick up where they’d left off. But of course that wasn’t possible. Too much had happened in the years since. They’d lived different lives from the one they’d once shared. Their father and older brother were dead, and Caleb was now the duke.
Nothing would ever be as it once had been.
Which was probably why Devlin had already gone away.
Smart man.
“Lord Griffin?”
Griffin shook his head at the sound of Miss Howard’s voice. He looked at her and saw that she stared back at him with a question in her green-gold eyes.
What was it she’d been saying?
Ah, yes. She could be open with Cassandra and Mary.
“I’m not judging you,” he said, even though he clearly had. Her deepening frown confirmed that she shared this opinion. Griffin sighed. “I was caught by surprise, but I actually...”
He considered how much to reveal. Was it wise to encourage additional closeness with her? Probably not, but he also didn’t want to stifle her true nature. That would be wrong.
Or so he told himself.
“Yes?”
Griffin cleared his throat. “In spite of my initial reaction, I actually like how straightforward you were before with your comment. If you will permit, I would welcome the opportunity for us to be completely candid with each other for as long as I’m here. It would make a refreshing change, I should think.”
“From putting on airs?”
He nodded slowly. “From feeling as though I’m walking around in someone else’s skin.”
The snort with which she responded became a laugh. “That’s rather morbid.” Her amusement was brief, however, and quickly transformed into a more serious expression denoting respect and thoughtfulness. “I actually like the idea. And I agree with your suggestion since I would rather be myself than the carefully polite miss Society insists I must be.”
“In other words, we shall be respectful but brutally forthright with each other.”
“As long as you promise not to judge me.”
“If I do,” he told her sincerely, “it will be in the best way possible.”
She seemed to like that response, for she smiled as if he’d just set a plate of treats before her.
